So fine, as I move towards my 59th Birthday tomorrow, I’m feeling philosophical, so just bear with me. I will warn you now, what I will be like this time next year, when I hit the big 6-0, you probably dont want to think about!
So lets turn back time, and think about what might have happened, in an alternate universe. Right, so when I reached 16, I didnt have to leave school, and go out to work, because I had 2 parents living at home, and their ‘dear daughter’ could have stayed on at school, taken her A Levels, carried on acting at school, and then gone on to university (college to my US readers), and taken life from there. Or just maybe, instead of a university, I went to Drama School, on a serious basis.
The obvious outcome from there would have been a modest career, either doing small parts in a large venue, or decent parts in a small venue, until the ‘right person’ came along, and I settled down, got married, parts dried up, family came along, and all that, and it might still have been it. Boring office job, parenthood, or whatever.
Equally, given the reception to my early acting stuff was fair, it might have been better than that, large parts in large venues, a break in the movies, or whatever? If that was the case, would I now be living in LA on a more permanent basis than looking forward to a 10 day apartment break in said city? Now I’m not going to claim I would have been the ‘next’ Jean Harlow, or anything like that, but it might have happened. More likely I’d have been the next Clara Johnson, getting by on lots of ‘low in the credits’ acting roles, and doing other forms of acting, like photo shoots, playing characters at various ‘Conventions’ and the like? But yes, recognized as an actress, at least, which would have been fun.
Instead of which, I had to go out to work, to bring money into a home with a single mother, and though I tried to keep up the acting, it wasnt anything I could do seriously, while holding down another job, commuting to London, or whatever. Didnt stop me keeping up the battle of trying to be an actress (to some degree) until around the turn of the century, when the battle of acting roles, lost out to the job market, and I settled for a more ordinary life, on the whole.
But fine, doesnt stop me now, looking back and just wondering, if at 18, I’d headed off to drama school, where I might be now. Superstar? Bit part actress? Theater travelling actress? Or just someone looking back at her life, and wondering where her acting career got to? One thing is sure, unless we find a way to turn back time, and take that other choice, I will now never know! Still, 9 weeks today, I head to Hollywood, and in my dreams, someone might see me, see the potential actress again, and then…I know, almost certainly not!
The video is also showing my age, as its one of the punk classics. The Stranglers were renowned for not taking themselves too seriously, and this performance sort of proves it!