I wish I knew a place where I could go

…and get a new body!

Yes, unfortunately this week, old age, and arthritis seem to be catching up with me fast, which has led to today being only my 19th day off sick in 42 years, but as far as the new job is concerned, ah well…

To cut things short, my back is bad, and I mean bad! To say that now it is a massive improvement on last night, and this morning, but even so, when it goes into spasm, well, I might know how several hundred volts at the base of my spine might feel! I’m sure its not as bad as childbirth, but having avoided that delight, I cant guarantee that. Fine, its not that bad (from all I’m told at least), but 58 year old’s arent designed to give birth to babies either!

It started to get bad on Sunday evening, but hey, I’ve suffered with my back intermittently for more than a few years, nothing I cant survive. So fine, despite knowing about it, I set off for work Monday morning. Fine the bus seats dont help, and the chillier weather definitely doesnt, so yes, it got worse during the day, but nothing that couldnt be sorted by paracetamol.

Well, until 3.30 this morning, at least. I woke up in intense pain, and tried to turn over to check the clock. Snag, my back, and therefore my body wasnt moving! After about 20 minutes or so, I managed it with a great deal of effort, and the rest of the night was spent between bouts of sleep, and bouts of pain.

Anyway, about 7.45 this morning, I tried to get up, and with a bit of effort, made it. Snag was, after 2 steps, my back gave out, and I slid (hopefully gracefully) onto the floor. I was rescued about 10 minutes later, and called work, and let them know I wouldnt be in. Now, several hours, and a few painkillers later, its down to spasms that hurt like hell, but the rest of the time, not too bad. Work tomorrow, yes, unless I relapse overnight, and I hope I dont.

Now, if anyone knows a place where I can swap this beaten up, battered 58 year old body, with the butch look, for a cute, good looking 20 something body, I’d be glad if they would let me know about it. Organic, cybernetic, or in between, I really dont care! Fine, I’d love the adorable body to be a fembot one, but just at the moment, anything in decent health, and fitness would be nice. But no, I still dont want to have babies, even then! 😛

The video, well, as so often, there is a clue or two in here. Incredibly she was 71 when singing this, I’d be thrilled to be half that fit at that age! Amazing lady!

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A funny thing happened yesterday

Well, its funny, or amazing, depending on how you look at it, I finally got offered a job yesterday!

Yes, I know, amazing stuff.

The boring details, starting on the 4th of July (yes, for me, an ironic start date), I will again be working in a call center in Leeds. No, not the same one as before, not the one of the December debacle, but somewhere fresh. It is inbound, it is 5 days from 7, so yes, I will again suffer the ‘delights’ of commuting on a Sunday, but it has to be done.

I know, I know, I wanted something different, and ideally closer to home, but it wasnt to be. Yes, in the end, anything positive won out, I just hope it doesnt end up getting to me too much. I’m sure I’ll survive, and I’m pretty sure, knowing me, I wont bother to look for something better, as I probably should, but anyway…

OK, the ironical funny thing. I need to find money from somewhere! Nowadays, you get paid monthly, in arrears (understandably), but before then, I have to pay out for a months worth of travel passes (£150-160, depending how I do it), and I also have to pull myself into shape, as hair, in more senses than one, has been sort of neglected while I havent had spare cash. The obvious one, the hair on my head, which was soon due for coloring anyway, had to go ahead and book it now, while I can. But additionally, I havent been waxing anywhere since September! The big issue is my eyebrows, they probably need sorting with a pair of scissors, before waxing, in truth. The other area seriously in need, is under arms, but I suspect that they will be covered up at work anyway. Being frank, the whole body needs to get hairless, but besides that…Help!

I did consider doing a fund raising thing, but in truth, given the result of the last one, I cant see any point! I havent got anything to offer, but my sanity, so…If anyone does want to help, shout, and I’ll let you have some Paypal details, or something. Yes, I’d love to be ‘robot smooth’ apart from the hair on my head, but thats not going to happen without help! Fine, I’d love to be a ‘robot’ at work, but doubt thats on offer!

Lastly, by the morning, when I wake up, we should know if we’re still in Europe, or have decided to leave. Yes, I’ve voted, but no, I’m not telling you which, as politics, in blogs, isnt a favorite subject of mine! But fingers crossed, people make the right decision (or my idea of the right decision, at least), we will see.

OK, the video. Given most of my audience here are in countries that prefer their songs in English, I’m providing this version

Personally, I prefer the Bilingual, or French version, but anyway…they arent hard to find!

The holiday is filling up

I must say that the Hollywood trip is beginning to really turn into a dream come true. No, I havent yet got a pledge from Jean Harlow’s ghost to meet me, but thats really not going to happen, lets face it. Even if it was going to happen, I’m sure she’d prefer to surprise me lol!

Strictly, as things stand, I only have the one definite commitment, time and date wise. That is that incredible party on the evening of the 18th, when I plan to look like a 30’s lady, and hopefully a specific 30’s lady, if I can get the work done at what is a reasonable price. Strictly, no idea what it is, but I suspect, unless its stupid, and they say they can make me look like Jean Harlow, or more realistically Mae West (more my figure, darlings), then I’m sure I will go for it.

As already said, I’m planning on going to a Dodgers game, either on the Friday night, or the Sunday afternoon, depending on how things play out. So yes, I more or less know the time for that, and will be going, weather permitting, but I do have a choice of dates.

Well, actually, strictly, I have a second definite date, though in this case, I have no idea quite what I’m letting myself in for, but…I’m sure it wont, but it might lead to a job opportunity, or at least some work. On my last night, the 24th, I’ve been invited to an industry networking evening, and a movie, by a new contact on Twitter. It will certainly be something interesting, something new, and who knows where it might lead? No, my stories arent suitable to be made into a movie, and I’m sure I wont be offered acting work, but who knows what it might bring? That joking comment about finding work as a Mae West lookalike? Well I guess crazier things have happened!

Other than that, at some point, it seems I’m going to meet a couple of people I’ve known online for a while. One is someone I know from Twitter, who posts lots of pictures of the Hollywood sign, and she’s planning to come to the Hollywood Museum with me. I have suspicions, but no real evidence that she may be something of a local celebrity, but dont quote me on that.

The other, quite a famous actor, who befriended me on Facebook, twice over, named Bruce Glover. Yes, you might have heard of him, Diamonds Are Forever, and many TV series too. He actually runs an acting school on a Wednesday evening, which I planned to go to (mainly just to meet him), but I think he’s cottoned on to my lack of acting skills, and suggested a private meeting, which will still be amazing.

Beyond all this, well, I will get to do things like the Hollywood Walk of Fame, Forest Lawns (to get as close to Jean as I can, probably not that close), and all those other things that tourists to Hollywood, Beverly Hills, and L.A do!

One thing is certain, its going to be an amazing 10 days.

The video, well, 2 for the price of 1, of the same song, recorded nearly 50 years apart. Firstly the 1964 original

Then, a live version from 2013, when Petula Clark was 80, though you’d never guess it!