Respect yourself, Miss Harlow

I seem to be fast becoming the Diversity Queen of the DWP, which has to be a good thing, and I’m proud of anything I can do to help with this matter, for sure. I’m not quite in movie star mode for interviews, in that I still have to get to them by bus, definitely so sign of a chauffeured car at present, ah well…So no, not quite in the Harlow class just yet. Maybe the film studios are saving that for May, in Hollywood, but I very much doubt it! But a lady can dream, for at least 2 more months, so…?

On Tuesday, I was enhancing my Harlow look, with the semi perm make up top up session, though it didnt involve me being shrunk to a mere 5 ft 2 ins tall, or anything dramatic like that. Sadly, it didnt involve me becoming 20 something again either! But the eyebrows are now even more 30’s style (though with a saner width to them), and I have the Harlow rosebud look on my lips, so, playing Mama Jean at least, absolute piece of cake! So, if some studio wants to call, and discuss the part? Yes, I wish!

The intriguing thing about being a stats loving type, is that I do tend to look at the stats for my 2 blogs more than I probably need to. The main thing that interests me, is what blogs, other than the most recent ones, are attracting a lot of interest. As I’ve mentioned before, there are 4 regular candidates who appear a lot, but of late, in just the last few days, this one has rocketed back up the viewing charts!

https://robotunit8.wordpress.com/2016/08/17/youve-got-the-power/

Yes, the one I did when I was looking for assistance with the last story, that ECT one. No, I never got an offer, not even a placebo one. I mean, dont get me wrong, I wasnt seriously expecting anyone to offer me a full voltage session, but I thought that maybe, if nothing else, I might have got an offer of a look at a suite, and maybe experience a non voltage session, but no. But the last few days, someone, or a lot of someone’s in the US (yes, you get country location in your stats) have been looking intently at this blog. No, no one has actually offered yet, I might add.

I know what you’re saying, the books written, even sold a few copies, so I dont need to do the research any more? Maybe you’re right, but all the same, yes, if given the opportunity, to any degree, I’d definitely take it. Hey, I can edit the story if needed lol! 😛 Oh, that story, for those who wish to be reminded…

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/667260

As if an actress would ever do anything like that? 😀

Right, video time. Resisting the temptation to avoid Bruce Willis quite easily lol. Something that all LGBT people, and indeed all people need to do! Folks, let me introduce most of you (I suspect) to the Staple Singers!

Lay back, just relax, and…?

No, despite someone saying that they will rise to the challenge of literally turning me into Jean Harlow, for some good reason, I dont believe her! Mind, if she does, I would be thrilled, she would get a huge bonus, but fine, not going to happen! More on that in a moment.

First time I actually got to lay back was today. Yes, body waxing session, as the eyebrows had to be gone by Tuesday, and the rest of the body needed doing too, so got the full works! In truth, the only bits that really hurt at all (and then not too badly) was the under arms, and the bikini line, the rest, even after a long period wasnt too bad. Yes, I noticed the brows coming out, but nothing I couldnt live with. And besides, I came out years ago lol! 😛

The next session of just laying there, and letting someone do something to me, will be on Tuesday, when the ‘old lady’ goes for her semi perm make up top up session. And yes, thats the lovely lady who says I will look like Jean Harlow after she’s finished with me. Mama Jean, maybe, Baby Jean, oh I wish! Yes, that hurt the first time, but the six week top up session wasnt too bad, and hopefully the 2 year top up will be more of the same. In fact, it still looks good, but a good submissive does as she’s told, so…

The last session of just laying back on Thursday will definitely be the most pleasurable one, and again, something I really need, a much overdue massage, and facial. Good luck to Linda, she’s got her work cut out there, for sure! Yes, thats my birthday treat to myself, hint, hint… 😉 If I do nothing else beauty care wise as seriously as I used to, my body is telling me that massages will be useful all the same, as the body declines as I get older. Hard to believe that 20 years ago, a year on Thursday, I’d have hit retirement age. Now, I’ve got another 7 years to go, as things stand at present! Ah well, extra works pension will be very handy, I’m sure!

The video is a little bit of what I call Bradford’s best band. I might be biased, as they’re my era, but all the same…A different type of laying back, for sure!

Time for a bit of surgery?

No, let me say before anyone thinks otherwise, I dont mean major surgery on my knee…yet! I suspect that next autumn/winter I’m going to have to bite the bullet, and actually get it operated on, but not just yet! I’m also trying to give people chance to get me a new cybernetic body, or at least a knee joint by then, but not too hopeful on that!

No, this will be surgery, but of the cosmetic kind! No, not breast enhancement, I’ll leave that to the stories, thank you very much. Mind, if someone was prepared to pay for them to maybe grow a little, and make them a little more toned, I might not say no, but anyway…But no, I dont want ‘melons’ on my chest, thank you very much.

As a few who have been around a couple of years, or more would know, I have a slight tremor in my hands, which makes the idea of doing my own make up, just about impossible. Its fine for most general things, but if I try to do anything delicate, doesnt work! Anyway, a couple of years ago (just over), an ex work colleague in Newbury offered to take the issue off my hands, by providing me with the semi permanent make up look. Yes, it looked great, indeed it still does, though as is the norm with this sort of thing, it does need topping up every couple of years, or so. Thats right, its time for that!

So, 5 weeks today, I could jokingly say I’m going under the knife, but more truthful to say, I’m going under the make up tool! In truth, its been so long since I had the eyebrows waxed, I have no idea how well they look, but I know the lips still look good, as does the beauty spot! Yes, I need to get a bit of body maintenance done before then, believe me! At least there is one blessing now, I can afford it, just about. Why do I say that? Because its not just the treatment, its the train fare to the South of England, an overnight stay in a hotel, so, if by some miracle, someone wants to help with the cost, feel free to offer lol!

Sadly, as far as I know, the chamber to give me the full Jean Harlow makeover still doesnt exist, but fingers are crossed. Not that I know how I’d cope with looking 25 again, but anyway…lol! Equally, only being 5 foot 2 tall, hmm? But fine, for that image, I’d do it! 😀

No, the lady doing it isnt strictly a doctor, as such, but this one came to mind, as opposed to using the obvious Thompson Twins track. I know, 70’s disco, but you’ll survive lol…

Vintage lady, for a day

The one thing I’ve barely done since getting back from Hollywood, is just having a day out, anywhere. In fact, in truth, after the first month or so of post redundancy life, I havent actually done a lot of things, just fun, for myself, apart from the 2 US breaks. Yes, they were quite something, believe me, but other than that, Harlean has been a pretty dull girl, in all honesty. To be fair, my own choice, I’ve been trying to (apart from those delights) to keep costs to a minimum, apart from the lottery of late, though that so far at least, has proved to be wishful thinking. At least Saturday, it has to be paid out, so I wont have to buy one again for a while at least. Mind, 1 of the £20,000 prizes would be enough to preserve my sanity, not part of £57 million, but I’m not likely to get either, I’m sure. Still, compared to the Powerball lottery in the US, which has now reached $600 million, its chicken feed, but anyway…

So yes, I’m beginning to feel a bit of jail fever, of sorts, especially as of course there were no interviews over the Christmas Period. I should have had a registration trip on Tuesday, but I havent got ID until that passport actually arrives, so its been put back until it does. Anyway, I’m planning a prison break tomorrow! No, not seriously an escape, I can still walk out of here in freedom, but a day away from here might just do me good. Yes, its an expense, a rail fare to Nottingham, and actually having to pay cash for bus fares around here, but apart from that…

A couple of years ago, or so, I actually went to a Vintage fair, in Leeds. While there, I had my hair, and make up done, by a couple of lovely ladies, using their mobile studio. Yes, you’ve guessed it, their main place is in Nottingham. An example of their work?

Digital Camera
Digital Camera

Earlier this week, they were looking for a volunteer to help out, with training a new person in the ways of vintage make up styles. And I offered, if they got no one more local, and I guess they didnt? So tomorrow, I’m off down there. Strictly, no fee, though I will leave with my make up done, and my hair styled, 30’s style, so not altogether a bad deal?

But yes, it gets me out of here for a day, and even if I wont be going anywhere, I’ll look nice for a day or two!

Right, the video. What my look will do for me tomorrow. Might not be a true Jean Harlow, but I’ll have the 30’s look!

Now I’ll never know what their training methods were!

OK, sadly it looks like I will never discover the training methods used at that place in Batley. I was meant to hear by yesterday at the latest, and still not heard a thing, ah well…I’ll have to settle for fantasies lol! At least it means “Jean” didnt get the job, and have the right to take over my mind, and body for herself lol!

But yes, you’re right, if they had asked me to sit in some strange chair, have my wrists, and ankles restrained, so I couldnt move, and had a big silver helmet lowered over my head, I wouldnt have objected in the slightest. Just the opposite, I’d have looked forward to every minute of it, but anyway…doesnt look like its going to happen, shame! I know, it almost certainly wouldnt have done anyway, but…

I really, really would love, one day, to do that as a role play at least. Reality, oh fine, but in practice, at present…But lets face it, if anyone was doing that for a shoot now, they’d probably want someone a lot younger, and prettier than me. But who knows? If someone wants a challenge though, the more realistic you can make it look, and feel, the better!

Oh, fine, one more thing. Sunday, I went to the vintage fair at Leeds, did a little bit of shopping. But of more interest to you, I had my hair curled into Marcel Waves, my make up, and eye lashes done for me. And just for you, a couple of photos!

Digital Camera
Digital Camera
Digital Camera
Digital Camera

Now, dont you really want to get her under a sparky silver helmet, and turn her into your mindless, obedient slave? Real, or just for fun? 😉

The video. Well, I suspect if all your staff sat under that silver helmet, they would all think alike, if not look alike. So, I thought of this. I prefer the longer version of the song, but the video is to the single version, so…

If I had a photograph of me?

Many years ago, I used to own a camera, but it shows how long ago it was, they were all film ones! Nowadays its all digital cameras, and at long last, mainly because of the holiday to Hollywood, I’ve bought a new one, to take with me. Just a little, basic Vivitar one, perfect for beginners, so perfect for me! Not strictly a newbie, but after so long, not far off it.

I know, most people use their mobile phones nowadays, but I dont have one of them (well, for the UK at least. In irony, I do have a US one, which gets used 2-3 weeks a year), nor do I plan on getting one. But the US one doesnt have a camera attachment, thank goodness.

Alright, getting to the silly stuff. To prove to myself that I could handle this photo taking stuff, and more critically, prove I could download them to the computer, I took the obvious photo nowadays, a selfie! As you can see, it worked, and equally as you can see, I have quite a cleavage! 😀

Digital Camera

I suspect you might get the odd future selfie inflicted on you, though principally it will be for taking pictures of landmarks, and maybe some pictures of me, taken by others. Yes, I’ve been told I must get something taken of me at the party next month, so I will. I will certainly look the part, of a 30’s babe, just havent decided if it will be me, Jean, or given my figure, Mae West that goes to the ball!

Yes, the looks are more Jean, though not a mile off Mae, in all honesty. And lets face it, those boobs more tie in with Ms West lol! So, if anyone in the Hollywood/L.A area fancies transforming my looks (mad scientist full transformation to either would be fun, but not as feasible) into Mae West, or Jean Harlow, for a sensible fee, lets get it done, pretty please! Just remember I’m on a budget, so no crazy prices please!

OK, the video, there is a clue in the blog title

Completing the Harlow look

Well, alright, fine, if Jean had reached 56, she might have looked just like me! Probably not, but anyway…

Yes, tomorrow marks the day when I go back down south, for my top up to be done to my permanent make up tribute to Jean Harlow (except for those awful eyebrows), and this time around, get the fluttery Harlow eyelashes to boot! Sadly, they only last about 3 weeks, so will be gone by the time I go to Hollywood, but I cant have everything, can I?

Not that I suspect that even with those super eyelashes that I can get the men rushing to woo me, but we will see!

But do you know the funniest thing about it being done tomorrow? It’s Jean Harlow’s birthday! Yes, on March 3rd, 1911, in Kansas City, a baby girl named Harlean Harlow Carpenter was born into the world. Sadly that candle only briefly fluttered, for a mere 26 years, but seemingly, she will never be forgotten.

Yes, honest, I will post some pictures of the new me, complete with eyelashes, when its been done. As far as I know, I wont be thinking I’m Jean, or so I’m told at least lol!

My one regret, I really should have booked that hotel for the next 2 nights in the name of Harlean Carpenter, but I only thought of it when it was too late. Thats right, no passport checks made when you check in, so I could have done it. Ah well…

The other irony, until the recent job interview, I hadnt been to London in years. Now, through events, I’m returning again already! I was travelling down the centre of the country, but then the earth moved, quite literally near Banbury, and that line is closed. So now, its the East Coast line to London, then hop on the tube, then down to Newbury that way.

The difference, the last time I did it, it was on the publicly owned east Coast Railways. As of yesterday, that line is now back in private hands, Virgin East Coast. Going by reports today, the change, so far at least, is not for the better, but we shall see…

One thing for sure, I may not travel in black dress, and high heels this time around!

The video, no, I wont be this, even post transformation, but might be a little bit closer, who knows?

Its been a crazy world

Yes, I am back! Sorry, but the last 10 days or so have been a bit crazy (to put it mildly), and I really havent felt in the right state of mind to post things, for various reasons. Hey, I’m not sure I am now, but lets give it a whirl.

Firstly, the body work job! Yes, that worked wonderfully, really, really pleased with it, though I must admit, it was a few days before my lips recovered, even after the rest of the body looked fine. But everything is great now, in that sense, and as promised, I will post a photo at some point, just havent got any at the moment that I can use, so… But yes, the whole thing made me realise maybe how physically frail I am, as on top of the bug, the whole thing just knocked me over completely. Lets just say I slept well, and leave it at that.

There had been rumours at work of changes being made in staffing, most of which didnt sound good to me. So, when I got an email late Tuesday evening, asking me to ring one of the bosses, I had an inkling, I didnt want to know. Due to my lack of mobile phone, and a lengthy delay on the train, care of Cross Country (over an hour, compensation requested, though nothing heard yet on that front), it was actually about 4.45 on Wednesday before I heard the news, that my section of the department would soon be no more. Various options available, so on to Plan B, more of which later.

Yes, that bug, virus or whatever it was, combined with everything else, has still been laying me low, until the last couple of days. Even now, the cough isnt entirely gone, just better, but…

But as I say, Plan B. A job had caught my eye anyway, that was just the push needed to really do something about it. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I had a phone interview on Sunday morning, and I’ve got a ‘proper’ interview in London, on Monday. Would be quite something if I can get that, and get the redundancy money from my current job, but these sort of things dont usually happen for me, so…lets wait and see.

Looks like the black dress will be coming out again, though I’m not sure if I can face wearing heels all the way to London and back. Might take them with me, might just wear my wedge heels (no balance issues), or I might go mad! Suspect the first option is the most likely one.

Apart from all that, the only other big event was Nicole’s birthday, also on Sunday. Dinner out etc, had a wonderful time.

And really, thats it, or the edited version of it, anyway. As you can see, its been a bit crazy, a bit tiring on the middle aged body, but finally, I’ve appeared again.

The video, not the greatest Abba song of all time, but it seemed apt.

Due to work shifts, and things, its quite possible it will be next Wednesday before I write again. My only day off in that period is Monday, and well, I’ve got an interesting trip to make then!

Oh, I forgot, the wonders of online shopping, and the like. Due to the snow today, I didnt get out as planned. Therefore I thought I’d get my railway ticket online, using my pre paid card, once topped up. Only thing is, it didnt work! Got an error message on the East Coast website when I went to buy, but the system has taken the money off the card, but no tickets! Seemingly, it will be about 7 days before this corrects itself. So in the meantime, I’ve got to pay again for the railway ticket, and then I’ll have money on the card that I dont need! Aargh!

Princess Charming

Well, alright, fine, its a play on the video title, but given that its how I should be looking after the next days, seems quite apt for being turned into a beautiful Harlow swan!

Yes, tomorrow is the big day, when I travel down south, and come back looking a lot more made up (not hard), and all designed to help create the whole Harlow look. And produce the beautiful, stunning me. Oh fine, a much better looking me, but anyway…who knows? 😉

Yes, I’m really looking forward to it, though beyond a few brow pictures, I have little idea of what I’m letting myself in for. But I’m sure it will be quite something. And yes, I will provide pictures of Jean, sorry, the new me, later this week, possibly Wednesday, more likely Thursday.

And thats it! Sorry, but I have to be up reasonably early in the morning, so need to get to bed soon. But given my ill health of late (nearly better now), there isnt much else to say anyway.

Oh, the video. A man who used to wear make up, created an amazing sound, of whom it was said could do nothing outside of the music, and video studios. This live performance proves that wrong, though the music holds up slightly better than the vocals. But even so, pretty good

My life in 2015 – a brief guide

So fine, a (fairly) serious look at what lays ahead for me this year.

January – Due to polio as a child, which left me with a slight tremor in my hands, I’ve never really been able to do my own make up. I mean, I probably could get one of those big powder puffs, and apply foundation, but doing anything that requires a steady hand (brows, lipstick, mascara), no chance! So I’ve been very lazy, and tended not to bother.
But, in just under 2 weeks, a friend, and ex workmate will be providing me with a permanent make up look, that with the exception of those crazy brows, will pretty much match Jean’s. Yes, including beauty spot!
Really looking forward to it, and who knows, the end of the year might be changed dramatically, as some man has swept me off my feet, and I’m lining up to be married (Oh yeah…rolls eyes)

February – I’m currently about 14 months overdue for an eye test, and I really must put that right. Due to the cost of above, and the Hollywood trip being paid for in January, it wont happen until next month. Ideally I can find a ‘leading optician’ with a selection of suitable glasses, that look like they’ve been wafted here from the 30’s. No, dont expect it to happen, but a girl can dream.
No, I cant do laser treatment cheaply, because
1. I’m really, really short sighted, and the cheap version wouldnt cope with that.
2. I’m pretty sure at my age that my eye sight is beginning to get worse, and will presumably continue to do so

March – About all I can see here is the old lady getting a year older, and beginning to get hopelessly excited about the Hollywood trip

April – Yes, Harlean finally gets to Hollywood, or I do, anyway. Flight plans will be booked when it hits the 3 month mark (and fares should drop drastically), but the hotel is done already. Should be an amazing trip, even if I cant get as close to Jean’s crypt at Forest Hills as I’d love to, given its in one of the non public areas. Ah well, I’ll get as close as I can, and maybe see her ghost at that famous old mansion of hers, if I get the chance.

May – August – At some point in this period, I’ll probably head to Ireland for a few days, meet a few people, and take in some cricket. But until I see what work allows, and when the fixtures are, its all a bit up in the air as to dates. Beyond that, its pretty much a solid work period, not too much exciting.

September – I will be back in the US…somewhere. At this point, a lot depends on how the body stands up to April as to how far west I go. If I’m fine, it will be Idaho, and to meet a lovely man I’ve known for a while, and spoke to while in KC. If I’m not so fine, Northern New England, with Kate will be on the bill. If I do the latter, I suspect I might try and visit S. in New Hampshire, so we can put me in a trance for a few hours, and do a full, lengthy interview with Clara Johnson! Hopefully he will be able to resist making Jean-bot my permanent state, or maybe, hopefully not!

October – December – At this moment, beyond the works dinner in December, no great plans. No, I wont be coming across for Thanksgiving this year…I’m pretty sure, really cant afford it! Of course, by then, ‘Miss Carpenter’ may be being wined, dined, and generally romanced by a wonderful man, or woman, but I wont hold my breath on that.

And thats it, or is as I see it now. Think its fair to say that there will be nice surprises, and not so nice ones between now, and the end of the year, we shall see.

The video, well, lets go back to April, shall we? Lets go with this