She lives! She moves!

The irony of these seizures has been the fact that not all the effects have been negative. The first ones, back in March may have done nothing for the state of my brain, but it eased the pain in my back. Now whether this is because somewhere along the line it pushed something in my spine almost back into place, who knows? But yes, fine, I’d rather have a painful back, and a fully functioning brain, than this. The funny thing was, even though my back hurt less, it did nothing for my mobility, in fact making it far worse than it was. So whether something else somewhere wrecks the process that helps me to walk, no idea?

Anyway, as you may have gather, seizure session 2 on Saturday seems to have bashed my brain a bit more, but improved my mobility! Again, no idea why, unless it related to above?

4-5 weeks back, I had to send off a report for work on my health, and in my stupidity, I thought I’d try to walk to the post box, and back, given its only about 400 yards round journey, albeit, with a fair slope involved. Yes, I did make it there and back, but it nearly killed me, I was shattered on return.

This week, I had to send off one of those sick note certificate things, to cover the first few days after the event, and I did the same. Well, I wouldnt call it a stroll, but yes, it didnt stretch me all that much. I’m not saying I’d want to walk miles, but a short distance, especially on a flat surface (that definitely isnt flat), I probably could.

Next Thursday is Euro Election Day here, for better or worse. Not commenting on which I feel, or who I might be supporting, need to be neutral. Its a bit further to walk, there is a bit of a slope (though not as steep as from post box) involved to get to voting place, but as its the only way I can get to vote (havent arranged postal voting for future yet), if its reasonable, I might just give it a go, as Ella will be away at the time, and Eric hasnt yet given me mobility wheelchair driving lessons! Probably not, it probably would be pushing my limits, but before this week, didnt even think it was possible. but now…?

So yes, as the blog title says, She lives (just), she walks (not awful in short bouts), but sadly, unlike the video attached, I havent been ‘reactivated’ with large amounts of electricity! The amusing thing is, the hospital I was taken to, is one of the local ones that does ECT treatments! But no ‘Bride of Frankenstein’ treatment for me, all the same. Ah well…

No, I dont think I want something quite that drastic done to me, though I do wonder if ‘resetting’ my brain that way would be the worst thing possible at present. But Trans-cranial Magnetic Stimulation, I just wonder if that might put things right, or at least help? Any thoughts, any offers? Yes, the video is that scene, from that film, and yes, I’d love to recreate it, regardless of any stimulation of any kind actually being used! Who me, jealous? You bet!

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The lesser of 3 evils?

Here in the UK (before my US readers tell me I’ve got the wrong dates), next week is Mental Health Awareness Week. I know, so in theory I should blog this next week, but given how reliable my memory is at present, lets get it written up while I remember it. I know, I could store it, but I need to post something tonight, and time is running short, so…

I suppose, relating to me, its how you define mental health. If you relate it purely to depression type issues, then I dont have a mental health issue. If you relate it more generally to any way in which your mind is functioning less than perfectly, then yes, I do have mental health issues! Just that ironically, until I am able to actually see a Neurologist (NHS, 18th June at present), I have no idea what it is. Given that 3 separate medical people (or set of people) have told me I wont be working again, I assume its pretty serious, but exactly what, who knows? If anyone has the money to let me see a neurologist privately, or someone wants to offer said services for free, sooner?

Funnily enough, it was only this morning that I was reading about Emilia Clarke (Game Of Thrones, I gather, never seen it) having suffered 2 brain aneurysms, and then having memory issues, though it doesnt seem to have done her acting career too much harm, but she’s a lot younger, and probably a lot more talented than me (certainty, but dont want people biting my head off, lol), but good for her for doing so. No, I’m not saying thats what happened to me, but the more I read, the more concerned I get. I also read something about what my limited knowledge (and Wikipedia) leads me to, is that what happened to me can easily knock 10 years off your lifespan. Fine, if I’m that busted, that may not be a bad thing, but anyway…

As those who have been around for a while will know, a few years back, I wrote a story relating to the use of ECT. No real experience, but no reviewer said I got it all wrong, so maybe I got it roughly right? 400 volts plus, maybe I’ll still pass (though now less to damage), but a low volt research test, well, maybe? No, story is written, so probably shouldnt.

One thing I have seen mentioned since then in more ways than just a depression cure is something called Transcrancial Magnetic Stimulation (or rTMS, repetitive) which is done with magnets, albeit pretty powerful ones, which does far less memory damage, which is good, goes on for longer, and can be done while awake (both good for me), and therefore probably a lot wiser to give a try. Well, some private clinic in London (so no use to me money, or location wise) was advertising the benefits of this rTMS thing, and I was just wondering if it might ease, or cure some, or more, of my memory issues? Yes, fine, would be fun to find out, for sure.

I do know my mobility has gone to pieces since the seizures, but I’m assuming thats relating to the part of my brain that was damaged by the seizures. I know, I couldnt walk miles, but I could do 1/2 mile or so, currently even a few hundred yards is too much of a challenge!

So yes, I probably would give rTMS a go, though pass on ECT. At the same time, I’m not going to do anything until after I’ve seen the neurologist, and hopefully get the full picture, arent I good? Though fine, having my mind ‘zapped’ in that way appeals no end!

So yes, think about Mental Health Awareness Week (UK) next week, and just remember that mental health isnt just about depression (though that is a major issue), but so much more as well.

OK, video time. Yes, cynical choice. Hard to believe this is nearly 50 years old, and no this 14 year old (as I was at that time), was not among the dancers, I only wish I was!