The only way I’ll fall in love?

Well, fine, for a while last night, I thought tonight’s blogging would be easy. Memories of the previous time that England were in a World Cup Final, 52 years ago, and all that. They were even winning when I got home, but things went downhill from there, so instead you get this…! Yes, resisting being rude about that Orange faced Russian guy visiting here from the US, trying to be good!

So instead, lacking any great subject matter, lets rely on that good old back up idea, a look at one of this week’s stories. This one, in fact

https://mcstories.com/MagicTinder/index.html

Now, as my regular followers know, my views on Smart Phones, Apps, and the like, is pretty much that I dont know, and I dont care about them. But still, this amused me. You can guess I dont know a lot (or less) about Tinder, but I gather its some sort of dating thing, where you do one thing with the picture if interested in someone, and do the opposite if not? Then if they feel the same way about you…? One things for sure, even if I was on it, the chances of anyone being interested in me, matches my chances of flying to Alpha Centauri in an alien spacecraft, at light speed! 😛

So fine, a story where if you fancy someone on this Tinder thing, that they have to reciprocate, has to amuse me. No, I dont think I could be that cruel to anyone, but apart from that… Well, if I could get Rotwang to give me the Maria makeover, then maybe, but otherwise…

Let me say that beyond this fictional, magical version of Tinder, I have no idea if it works, or not? I cant believe it does for anyone, but maybe for some…? Besides which, I suspect most of the people I’d be attracted to, of a suitable age for me, probably arent on Tinder either! So fine, if thats what smart phones are like (and fine, I know, in real life, they’re not), another reason for me not to bother to get one!

So, if any wealthy millionaire wants to fall in love with me (ha ha), lets just do it the old fashioned way, OK? 😉 If he then wants to turn me into an obedient, Stepford type wife, no complaints from me!

Alright, video time. This guy is probably remembered by most for one song, classically used as a ‘Rick Roll’ on You Tube. No, its not that song, though it could have been apt. Its his version of the Nat King Cole classic, and its very good, live. Now, if he wants to fancy me on Tinder, either version, I’d have no complaints!

 

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No More I Love You’s

Confused by the title? Well, fine, I picked it to fit in with a simply brilliant video that I discovered while writing my other blog. I was going to do something silly, but having seen Annie, and this…

Yes, we’ve had a bit of snow overnight, and today, here in the UK. So much so that unsurprisingly all turf horse racing was abandoned for the day, and indeed has been for tomorrow already!

To be honest, apart from that legendary race, the Grand National, I havent had a bet in some years now. In truth, I’m not sure if I’m even going to bother with the National this year, or not. I suspect I will, but dont quote me on that. Why? Because I still do free to enter horse racing competitions on a website called Betfair, and one of those will involve picking 2 horses, plus a reserve for said race. So having picked those, I might feel the urge to take my chance, and…lose £6 probably!

The Betfair site has a forum, and on there this morning was a thread about the amount of snow in your location in the UK. Someone not a million miles for me said he hadnt seen any, but I certainly had by then. It was then I noticed he posted last night, not this morning, and back then, yes, no snow. However, its a site where you cant delete postings, so there it had to stay. Anyway, seemingly he was about 8 miles from me, not a lot older than me, and then someone jokingly said the site had become like match.com lol! Fun ensued, but anyway…including him declaring his feelings for me, and…

In truth, if they knew the state of this 60 year old body of mine, they’d run a mile. Lets face it, with my damaged body, if I was a racehorse, they would probably have put me down. Legs are damaged, back is bust, arthritic joints et al…?

But yes, I guess invisibility on the internet can be a handy thing at times, even if I do own up to all my woes, they still cant see how plain I am, so…?

Just be grateful I thought of this, the only other idea I had was the perfect winter coat for me. Full body, including hood, either thermally lined throughout, or with its own heating system, in a perfect metallic silver color! 😛

Right, video. I’ve given enough clues, so lets just roll with it. And yes, I’d love to wear what Annie’s wearing!

Can anybody find me?

…Somebody to love! Yes, its that day of the year, but given my age, my looks, and my desire to be tied (romantically at least) to someone now, I suspect I’d make a lousy partner/wife, anyway! Oh fine, other types of being tied by/to someone might be seen in a whole different light! 😉

So yes, in that sense, I probably dont want to find anyone to love, but you have to try, I guess? Some dominant to control me, now that might be of more interest! Even more so if they let me live out my robot fantasy, or maybe took it a step further. I guess in my dreams, being programmed to be the perfect Stepford wife would be heaven! I know, I know, but…

Equally, I have been told a number of times, and I guess it might be true, there is someone out there for me. But in truth, about a month away from reaching 59, I’m beginning to doubt it now. And even if there is, would I make good wife material, after so long being an independent lady, doing as I wish, hmm? Oh fine, I’d enjoy way too much being ‘rebuilt’ as perfect housewife material, but though that might happen in fiction, in reality is a whole different thing!

Who knows, maybe that old Hollywood story will happen for me in May, find someone, fall for them, and they’re prepared to go through the paperwork, and everything else to make me the perfect California wife, oh I wish! But having been there for a total of five and a half weeks before, and nothing happened, I dont believe this time will be any different, but we will see, I guess?

Oh fine, I’d still prefer to find a mad scientist who’d turn me into a robot, but if the chance arises…?

Right, video, some Queen. No prizes for working out which song, mind!

Someone think I’ll make a mother!

No, dont panic too much, given its one of those online things, and the fact that we are currently 8 time zones apart, make it unlikely that it will actually happen, but its an amusing thought, all the same. But I did realize he thought I had potential when he told me that he’d shown my pictures to his children, and all that. Seriously, me, a mother, cant see it!

Yes, its one of those guys who’s seen my picture on Facebook, and for some strange, unexplained reason seems to have fallen in love with me. Given we’ve never met, and apart from a few words, over a crackly messenger service, never spoken to each other, let alone anything more!

Fine, he seems nice enough, as much as I can tell from chats we’ve had, but that doesnt mean a lot. Besides which, in me, you’re talking an ‘old maid’ who hasnt had any relationships in about 16 years, with anyone, and who has never had a maternal instinct in her life!

I’m sure, at some point soon, he’s going to see sense, and go off me, or find someone else to work his charms on! No, short of a neural download that turns me into a perfect mother, I cant see me, and kids, to be honest, but who knows?

As I say, it was nice chatting to him, and all that, and I could live with the love pledges, when it was just me, and him, but then when he said he’d shown my photo to his kids, eek! I know it might be my way of becoming a California girl, but seriously, as a mother, hmm?

Alright, you can stop laughing now!

The video, well, if my mother was still alive, I might be saying this to her!

All you get from love?

Yes, its that time of the year again, when I vaguely hold out hope that someone might be sweet enough to send me a secret valentine card, even if I know that in reality, its never going to happen! Fine, in theory, a card, or something could arrive tomorrow, or some guy (or girl) could ring the door bell on Sunday, but I think pigs flying, or Trans Pennine Express running trains on time, would be more likely! Yes, that likely! No, not expecting anything over the internet either!

To be honest, I’d love to be wined and dined, just once more, but doubt its going to happen. Fine, I’d probably enjoy it as much if someone snatched me up, took me away, tied me up, and did wicked things to my body, but thats another fantasy entirely! Yes, being turned into their brainwashed slave/sex bot would appeal no end, but is even less likely, given that most ‘mad scientists’ would want someone younger, and prettier, if they were going down that route! Even assuming it could happen in reality, of course!

Oh, by the way, if you think this blog is a depressing post, wait for Sunday! I wont ruin anyone’s weekend by passing on that news before then, at least.

But in truth, all I’ve got from love, for pretty much all of my life, is a love song. A fact which leads us to tonights video…

Do you want me, baby?

Fine, much as I suspected, changing the advert on the dating agency to woman seeking woman, has proved a complete failure. I’ve not even had one message, let alone the chance of anything more! Funnily enough, one of the men I was talking to before is still in contact, but thats about it, and for whatever reason, he seemingly wants to do no more than chat, saying that I’m too far away, even if it is only about 20 miles!

Oh, and the guy from Houston who was so interested, not a whisper on when he’s actually coming to the UK, so I’ve written him off too! And until the passport actually arrives, I couldnt do much on that front either.

On that subject, funny story. On Monday, I got a letter from the passport office, asking me to prove I’d also changed my name on my driving licence, as no record of doing so had shown up. So I rang them, and told them the very good reason for that, I dont drive, therefore dont hold a driving licence, so I had no need to change it. She wasnt quite as shocked as people when I say I dont have a cell phone, but quite good, all the same. Anyway, I gather that was the last issue, so hopefully it will arrive soon. I hope so, as I have 1 registration to arrange when it does, and another that I will have to follow up with, after tomorrow, as another are doing an interim thing until it gets here, so they can put me forward for a job.

Right, thats not to say that the whole dating stuff has been a total waste of time, yet.

There is one wonderful gentleman from Long Island who is interested in me, actually a relative of Jean Harlow, roughly my age, so who knows, we might get together yet, and have a wonderful time. I’d love it if it happened, he seems wonderful, we both love the old movies, though our political views are a little way apart, lets leave it at that! Of course, if he wanted to change my mind on that, in a very special way, fine by me!

The other one, of significant interest, is also in the US. Yes, I know, very annoying, though I guess if it means in the end, I get into the country, then great, but planning things in the early stages…sheesh!

Not that he wants me as a partner, he wants me as a robot! Fine, its only going to be hypnotized to believe I am one, not the real thing, but anyway…about as good as is realistic, given modern technology. There are small issues at present, and no, not just the building of the robotization chamber, I wish!

Maybe I’m just being cynical, rather than wishful, but if you asked me honestly, I suspect I’ll end up staying a singleton, and not just because I’m a robot either! I guess I’d happily take either, but I must admit, genuinely being part of the Carpenter clan would be great. But equally, if I lived out the rest of my life, as a robot, no complaints whatsoever!

Oh, and being practical at present, if anyone reading this is feeling charitable to a beaten down, unemployed, middle aged lady, I wouldnt say no! More than happy to work for money, either as human, or a robot (ha ha), if that can be easily arranged. Just feeling the despair of seeing the bank balance dropping to less pleasant levels is doing nothing for my cheerfulness at present.

Lastly, the video,, what I seem to have said in an online sense of late, at least.

Who needs a heart?

Alright, I kept one of my New Year resolutions, I signed up to an online dating website. Yes, I found one that is free (of sorts), so decided to give it a whirl. And being crazy, and supposedly bi, I took a chance, and went looking for men. Yes, I would have done both, if I could, but as doing that would require 2 separate accounts, I havent taken that step yet. I might yet, but having found a couple of interesting, but probably impractical guys, I’ll hold on that option for now.

One is impractical in a way that I’d love to find a get around for. Yes, he’s in America, Texas in fact. Younger than me (ooh!), definitely quite nice looking, and from the brief chats we’ve had, quite an interesting person too. But yes, especially given my current financial position, I can hardly hop across the Atlantic to see him, can I? Same for him, as fares from the US to here seemed more expensive, but that might just be the dates he was looking at, as opposed to the ones I was? Yes, I’d love to meet him, but hardly practical for it to happen at present.

The other happened this evening, and strictly, there’s nothing to stop it happening. He’s in the UK, and though he’s a little way from me (just over 50 miles), nowhere I couldnt get to by public transport, if I wanted to. And his message to me, and his profile are both simply adorable, and sweet. Fine, I mentioned a snag? Yes, he’s nearly 20 years older than me, so put your maths together, and…Thing is, I’m still tempted to at least meet him, all the same! As I say, like the Texas guy, he’s interesting, and appeals to me, so whats age got to do with it?

I’ll be honest, the guy who most took my heart in LA was nearly 30 years older than me! And yes, my one previous (female) partner was nearly 20 years older than me too. So maybe, like Harlow, I’ve got a thing for older partners? Would make sense, I guess? 😉

Fine, in a dream world, I’d find a (wealthy) partner from LA area, who fell madly in love with me, but this is real life, not the movies!

So hey, age is just a number, maybe I’ll take a look at train timetables to Derbyshire tomorrow? Unless someone wants to pay my air fare to Houston, anyway? No? Thought not!

Video. Well change a word, and, whats age got to do with it?