Can anybody find me?

…Somebody to love! Yes, its that day of the year, but given my age, my looks, and my desire to be tied (romantically at least) to someone now, I suspect I’d make a lousy partner/wife, anyway! Oh fine, other types of being tied by/to someone might be seen in a whole different light! 😉

So yes, in that sense, I probably dont want to find anyone to love, but you have to try, I guess? Some dominant to control me, now that might be of more interest! Even more so if they let me live out my robot fantasy, or maybe took it a step further. I guess in my dreams, being programmed to be the perfect Stepford wife would be heaven! I know, I know, but…

Equally, I have been told a number of times, and I guess it might be true, there is someone out there for me. But in truth, about a month away from reaching 59, I’m beginning to doubt it now. And even if there is, would I make good wife material, after so long being an independent lady, doing as I wish, hmm? Oh fine, I’d enjoy way too much being ‘rebuilt’ as perfect housewife material, but though that might happen in fiction, in reality is a whole different thing!

Who knows, maybe that old Hollywood story will happen for me in May, find someone, fall for them, and they’re prepared to go through the paperwork, and everything else to make me the perfect California wife, oh I wish! But having been there for a total of five and a half weeks before, and nothing happened, I dont believe this time will be any different, but we will see, I guess?

Oh fine, I’d still prefer to find a mad scientist who’d turn me into a robot, but if the chance arises…?

Right, video, some Queen. No prizes for working out which song, mind!

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Someone think I’ll make a mother!

No, dont panic too much, given its one of those online things, and the fact that we are currently 8 time zones apart, make it unlikely that it will actually happen, but its an amusing thought, all the same. But I did realize he thought I had potential when he told me that he’d shown my pictures to his children, and all that. Seriously, me, a mother, cant see it!

Yes, its one of those guys who’s seen my picture on Facebook, and for some strange, unexplained reason seems to have fallen in love with me. Given we’ve never met, and apart from a few words, over a crackly messenger service, never spoken to each other, let alone anything more!

Fine, he seems nice enough, as much as I can tell from chats we’ve had, but that doesnt mean a lot. Besides which, in me, you’re talking an ‘old maid’ who hasnt had any relationships in about 16 years, with anyone, and who has never had a maternal instinct in her life!

I’m sure, at some point soon, he’s going to see sense, and go off me, or find someone else to work his charms on! No, short of a neural download that turns me into a perfect mother, I cant see me, and kids, to be honest, but who knows?

As I say, it was nice chatting to him, and all that, and I could live with the love pledges, when it was just me, and him, but then when he said he’d shown my photo to his kids, eek! I know it might be my way of becoming a California girl, but seriously, as a mother, hmm?

Alright, you can stop laughing now!

The video, well, if my mother was still alive, I might be saying this to her!

All you get from love?

Yes, its that time of the year again, when I vaguely hold out hope that someone might be sweet enough to send me a secret valentine card, even if I know that in reality, its never going to happen! Fine, in theory, a card, or something could arrive tomorrow, or some guy (or girl) could ring the door bell on Sunday, but I think pigs flying, or Trans Pennine Express running trains on time, would be more likely! Yes, that likely! No, not expecting anything over the internet either!

To be honest, I’d love to be wined and dined, just once more, but doubt its going to happen. Fine, I’d probably enjoy it as much if someone snatched me up, took me away, tied me up, and did wicked things to my body, but thats another fantasy entirely! Yes, being turned into their brainwashed slave/sex bot would appeal no end, but is even less likely, given that most ‘mad scientists’ would want someone younger, and prettier, if they were going down that route! Even assuming it could happen in reality, of course!

Oh, by the way, if you think this blog is a depressing post, wait for Sunday! I wont ruin anyone’s weekend by passing on that news before then, at least.

But in truth, all I’ve got from love, for pretty much all of my life, is a love song. A fact which leads us to tonights video…

Do you want me, baby?

Fine, much as I suspected, changing the advert on the dating agency to woman seeking woman, has proved a complete failure. I’ve not even had one message, let alone the chance of anything more! Funnily enough, one of the men I was talking to before is still in contact, but thats about it, and for whatever reason, he seemingly wants to do no more than chat, saying that I’m too far away, even if it is only about 20 miles!

Oh, and the guy from Houston who was so interested, not a whisper on when he’s actually coming to the UK, so I’ve written him off too! And until the passport actually arrives, I couldnt do much on that front either.

On that subject, funny story. On Monday, I got a letter from the passport office, asking me to prove I’d also changed my name on my driving licence, as no record of doing so had shown up. So I rang them, and told them the very good reason for that, I dont drive, therefore dont hold a driving licence, so I had no need to change it. She wasnt quite as shocked as people when I say I dont have a cell phone, but quite good, all the same. Anyway, I gather that was the last issue, so hopefully it will arrive soon. I hope so, as I have 1 registration to arrange when it does, and another that I will have to follow up with, after tomorrow, as another are doing an interim thing until it gets here, so they can put me forward for a job.

Right, thats not to say that the whole dating stuff has been a total waste of time, yet.

There is one wonderful gentleman from Long Island who is interested in me, actually a relative of Jean Harlow, roughly my age, so who knows, we might get together yet, and have a wonderful time. I’d love it if it happened, he seems wonderful, we both love the old movies, though our political views are a little way apart, lets leave it at that! Of course, if he wanted to change my mind on that, in a very special way, fine by me!

The other one, of significant interest, is also in the US. Yes, I know, very annoying, though I guess if it means in the end, I get into the country, then great, but planning things in the early stages…sheesh!

Not that he wants me as a partner, he wants me as a robot! Fine, its only going to be hypnotized to believe I am one, not the real thing, but anyway…about as good as is realistic, given modern technology. There are small issues at present, and no, not just the building of the robotization chamber, I wish!

Maybe I’m just being cynical, rather than wishful, but if you asked me honestly, I suspect I’ll end up staying a singleton, and not just because I’m a robot either! I guess I’d happily take either, but I must admit, genuinely being part of the Carpenter clan would be great. But equally, if I lived out the rest of my life, as a robot, no complaints whatsoever!

Oh, and being practical at present, if anyone reading this is feeling charitable to a beaten down, unemployed, middle aged lady, I wouldnt say no! More than happy to work for money, either as human, or a robot (ha ha), if that can be easily arranged. Just feeling the despair of seeing the bank balance dropping to less pleasant levels is doing nothing for my cheerfulness at present.

Lastly, the video,, what I seem to have said in an online sense of late, at least.

Who needs a heart?

Alright, I kept one of my New Year resolutions, I signed up to an online dating website. Yes, I found one that is free (of sorts), so decided to give it a whirl. And being crazy, and supposedly bi, I took a chance, and went looking for men. Yes, I would have done both, if I could, but as doing that would require 2 separate accounts, I havent taken that step yet. I might yet, but having found a couple of interesting, but probably impractical guys, I’ll hold on that option for now.

One is impractical in a way that I’d love to find a get around for. Yes, he’s in America, Texas in fact. Younger than me (ooh!), definitely quite nice looking, and from the brief chats we’ve had, quite an interesting person too. But yes, especially given my current financial position, I can hardly hop across the Atlantic to see him, can I? Same for him, as fares from the US to here seemed more expensive, but that might just be the dates he was looking at, as opposed to the ones I was? Yes, I’d love to meet him, but hardly practical for it to happen at present.

The other happened this evening, and strictly, there’s nothing to stop it happening. He’s in the UK, and though he’s a little way from me (just over 50 miles), nowhere I couldnt get to by public transport, if I wanted to. And his message to me, and his profile are both simply adorable, and sweet. Fine, I mentioned a snag? Yes, he’s nearly 20 years older than me, so put your maths together, and…Thing is, I’m still tempted to at least meet him, all the same! As I say, like the Texas guy, he’s interesting, and appeals to me, so whats age got to do with it?

I’ll be honest, the guy who most took my heart in LA was nearly 30 years older than me! And yes, my one previous (female) partner was nearly 20 years older than me too. So maybe, like Harlow, I’ve got a thing for older partners? Would make sense, I guess? 😉

Fine, in a dream world, I’d find a (wealthy) partner from LA area, who fell madly in love with me, but this is real life, not the movies!

So hey, age is just a number, maybe I’ll take a look at train timetables to Derbyshire tomorrow? Unless someone wants to pay my air fare to Houston, anyway? No? Thought not!

Video. Well change a word, and, whats age got to do with it?

Anyone fancy a robot wife?

Oh fine, maybe its because I’ve just gained a new identity, or maybe its because its the end of the year, and I’m still very single, that my thoughts turn to romance, love, or from personal preference, becoming a robot wife. Yes, gives a clue to the video, doesnt it?

I know, its not for the first time, and I’m hopelessly independent after having been single for 15 years, but maybe its time (again) to consider whether I should find a partner, or more aptly for me, a dominant person, who fancies a robot wife. In play sense only, I guess, unless they are a brilliant hypnotist, or a mad scientist, but anyway…

Yes, its that gorgeous corset I mentioned recently, got me feeling all submissive again, must be that collar attachment lol! And I guess a Master, or Mistress would to some degree at least take away all those needed love issues that I would have with a normal relationship. Yes, fine, a normal relationship, especially a date, might be fun, but given my issues re sex (I live without penetrative sex, and have done so for 15 years), I wouldnt be ideal for most folk. Yes, strictly, a lesbian one doesnt require that nasty stuff, well, unless she’s into strap ons at least, so might be better, whereas a man would probably have to settle for blow jobs, and the like. Not the best, I guess? At least they’d probably enjoy tying me tightly into corsets, and the like!

But fine, in my heart, doing the whole submissive thing, especially if I could find someone that fancied the robot kink, would appeal far more. If nothing else, it removes all requirement for me to love someone, but just be happy to serve, and obey them, which should be fine!

But where would I start for something like that, not a clue! And not sure I have much faith in dating agencies, and certainly would have no idea at all on the submissive side of things. So yes, fine, in a years time, you’ll probably get a similar post, without the name change thing!

Yes, I would love to just be wined, and dined, just so someone can convince me that I would make a good wife, partner, or submissive, for the first time in a long time. Probably as likely as a serious relationship, but anyway…

Fine, the video. Yes, that robot wife thing lol. Would be perfect for me, especially if I really was. Or at least an obedient, brainwashed slave, as second prize!

Someone to watch over me

Well, I had an email today from one of those agency things that we unemployed folk use, suggesting I use my blog to sell myself as a job prospect. Fine, maybe I should, though when I do the one here, I might add a couple of unlikely happenings, just to amuse you, but…I’ll do that later in the week, given I did the signing on one only 2 days ago.

So, this is probably inspired by a couple of comments over on the Garden, but also by something that happened to me, while I was on holiday.

A couple of very nice American guys over at the Garden have been bemoaning their lack of luck with the ladies over there. Having seen pictures of both, and having spoken to one of them, I cannot understand why they are so unsuccessful, but anyway…If I could, I probably would, though given I’m far older than both of them, I doubt they’d want me anyway! Even more so given my total lack of interest in sex! But anyway…

On the other hand…While I was away in Hollywood, I started getting emails from some dating site I’d never heard of, mentioning that a man was sending me messages there. No, I certainly didnt set this up, I’m certainly not interested in finding a man, but…curiosity got the better of this cat!

Yes, seemingly I had a profile there, a pretty basic one though, to be honest. And yes, there were a couple of messages, from a guy relatively close to home, wanting to chat with me. So, I sent a polite, non committal sort of reply to him, not showing any great interest, and hoped that would be that. As if!

A few more messages from him, and then, all of a sudden, half a dozen or so other guys sending me messages too!

Yes, that was my call to panic, bail out, and shut down the account. I really cant see me getting involved with anyone now romantically, and if I did, I suspect I would prefer female company, but anyway…

OK, they were all roughly my age, so that might have helped, but I still couldnt believe that so many men were interested in little old me!

Fine, if any of them had had ‘mad scientist’ as their employ, I might have got in touch, but they didnt. And yes, maybe, just maybe, I should have tried a casual date, but I couldnt get my head around the idea. So…I’ll stay single, for now. 😛

But it just amazes me, that a boring “plain Jane” like me can get all this interest, and 2 lovely guys cant get anyone. Ah well, as we Yorkshire folk would say, “There’s nowt as queer as folk”.

The video, well, if I’d taken up with one of these men, this might have been true. The great master, Frank Sinatra,