A softly, sighing lament

No, not a real blog, just something I wanted to post for obvious reasons, and cant do justice on the day, as I will be working.

Today marks the 80th anniversary of the date in 1937 when Jean Harlow last lived on this planet, and obviously I want to remember it.

Despite all the stories, and there are plenty, she died of kidney failure, and back then in 1937, there wasnt a thing that could be done. 10 years later, early dialysis, and transplants might have saved her, but that at that point, was not possible.

Oh, the other story that needs quashing, her mother did arrange medical staff to look after her, there was just nothing they could do.

Rest in peace, Baby, as you’ve done for 80 years now

xxx

The number 1 actress all over heaven, and it might not be Harlow?

Trying to work around other potential events, which now look like they’re not going to happen, I took the chance yesterday to visit Glendale, and most significantly Forest Lawn, where someone I have a bit of a link to is buried. Strictly, yes, I mean Jean Harlow, at rest there for now fast coming up on 80 years, but call it a feeling, or otherwise, whenever I visit, I just have this instinct that Clara Johnson may be at rest somewhere in those large grounds as well. As I say, no evidence, impossible given I dont know her married name, but just something calls me when I’m there, and though that might be Jean, I do just wonder. But anyway…

As for all the best laid plans…The 2 previous visits, I’d found a pleasant little fast food restaurant near to where I get off the bus, and therefore I planned to go there for lunch, before going on to pay my respects. Only snag is, sometime in the last 18 months or so, it closed! Anyway, I knew I’d seen a few shops on the road leading to Forest Lawn, in the opposite direction at the junction, so hoped I’d find something there. Yes, I did. Its not glamorous or anything, but I found one of these roadside buildings with a few tables, and took my chance. To be honest, under $9 around LA, for a burger, fries, and a drink is hard to find. To find it cooked to order at that price, even more so! If anyone around that area wants to know the name of it, shout, and I’ll work it out on Google Maps, if I can.

After that, I walked down to Forest Lawn, to see a stunning layout of US Flags in the grounds, for Memorial Day on Monday. I gather something is happening there then (think it was 1.00, but check?) to respect the occasion. Fine, not for the first time, I entered the actual grounds, hoping for 2 things to happen. Firstly, some signal from ‘above’ that would lead me to Clara’s resting place. The second, that the gate in the mausoleum where Jean is at rest would be open, as it was the first time I visited, but not the second.

No, neither happened! I didnt really expect the first, somehow, and no, the gate was very firmly shut across the passageway where Harlow rests. In truth, I think the first time was sheer fluke, whether that was divine intervention, or just Jean ‘fixing it’, I have no idea? But yes, shut is the norm, according to everything I’ve read online about the place.

So fine, I said a few words, from as close as I could get, and said my farewell, as I’m pretty sure this is my last visit here for a number of years, if ever again. And whether at that point my body will be capable of climbing the hill up to the mausoleum, I doubt it somehow! Also, at the top of the hill, before dropping down to the exit, I did the same to Clara, not knowing where she was in that huge area, or strictly, if she really is there, but job done.

Then finally, as I passed back those flags, all set up for Memorial Day, I paid my respects to all those brave military folk, who had died in our, and other generation’s service.

Today, really not much to tell, so lets throw it in briefly now. Really just a stroll up the Boulevard, to do some souvenir shopping, for me, and others at home. One gift I couldnt find, so tripped off to Universal Studios to get in the shop out there, which I knew would have it. If she reads this, she’ll know whose gift that was! Tomorrow, I get to walk along Hollywood Boulevard again, this time on a guided walk, run by a friend I know from Twitter, and have met before. Should be fun, especially as she knows the whole Harlow thing with me! I think I have the place planned for my last big meal in town, unless someone wants to treat me to Musso and Frank’s lol?

After that? No idea, in truth. I’ll sort of say goodbye to an old friend on the walk in the morning, so where I go after that, will think on it at the time. I will get out at some point Saturday morning, but wont get far, thats for sure. I have a feeling I might do a little walk along Beachwood, just for old time, and admire the famous sign, one last time, without annoying the locals!

Right, video time. Not that Jean could sing (well proven), and though Clara was a decent dancer, she was no star. Besides which, this group is from LA, and the song fits in from yesterday. So all in all…

A group of actresses

Though I must admit Harlow, Johnson and Brooks could very easily sound like a firm of solicitors!

In truth, there are very few places left in Hollywood that you could trace back to their days in town, but yesterday I managed to visit two of them, though one is no longer used for the purpose that they knew it for. Oh, and I passed a couple of others too, the Chinese theater, and Musso and Frank’s being the famous ones.

I always planned to visit the Hollywood Museum on this trip, seeing they’ve got a special Jean Harlow display this summer, and yes, its really good, if you get the chance, which I suspect a lot of my readers wont! Back then of course, this was the Max Factor building, the man behind the movie make up of many famous actresses, and judging by the pictures there, a few chorus line dancers too! Its a well known fact that Harlow would have gone there, and ‘supposedly’ thats where the platinum blonde look was created. That I’ll question, but anyway…? Kept going, quite possibly. Created, hmm?

In truth, I always assumed that Factor only did the make up for the stars, but yesterday I saw a few pictures of chorus line dancers, waiting their turn to be made up by him, and thoughts turned to Clara. Was she one of them, who knows? Did she at some point have her make up done by Factor, seemingly almost certainly. One thing is for sure, they wouldnt recognize the building today. Not just because of the change of nature of the building, it lost its front seemingly when Highland Avenue was widened.

There is one seriously wonderful helmet type thing, that was seemingly used to measure imperfections in faces, which I would love to have used on me, but it would find plenty of imperfections lol.

Oh, one fun moment, signing the visitors book in my name, especially given who the main display was about, though I doubt they even look!

The evening was spent in the company of the last of our trio, Louise Brooks, at the Egyptian Theater, which is 5 years short of its centenary! I wonder if you’d told Grauman that, back in 1922, whether he would have believed you that it would happen? Looks very different in places now, to then of course, but so much remains, though mainly restored, but all the same…

I found out shortly before coming here, that there were 2 of her films on last night there, neither of which I’d seen before, beyond glimpses of one. Beggars Of Life is probably one of the better known Paramount ones that survives, with ironically Louise playing a girl pretending to be a boy. Some of the shots were amazing, especially when you think there was no CGI back then!

The other was the second film she made in Germany, Diary Of A Lost Girl. I’d seen brief scenes from this, but that was it. Personally, for all the fuss made about Pandoras Box, I found this the far superior movie. The cast seems stronger, in deeper roles, and benefits from that. In modern eyes, its amazing how much censorship was used on this film originally in US (Yes, I saw a restored version), as some of it is daring, but not extreme. But its not hard to imagine that in 1929, things were seen very differently to that. Oh, and the ending is delightful.

So yes, yesterday was a look back to Old Hollywood for me, this afternoon I’m off to see some new, at a female playwright festival. Just watching, nothing more, unless…? No, I doubt it somehow! More on that in next blog, I suspect.

The video. Well, I couldnt think of anything more apt on a California Sunday Morning. Cant believe there will be many who know this already.

Only in my imagination?

I suppose its fair to say that however minor an actress you might be, and I am pretty minor, especially nowadays, you always dream of getting that big break. Yes, the one linked to Hollywood is the movies, but in truth, given the way they make movies nowadays, with all that CGI and everything, it appeals to me less than TV, or Theater would, in truth. But yes, if you’re going to Hollywood, the dream that some studio is going to take you off the street, and make you a star, well, it was prevalent in the 20’s, and 30’s at least.

There is a well told story that Jean Harlow got her big break, albeit only in bit parts, was when she was dropping off a friend in her car, and got invited to an audition. The rest, as they say is history, though it was 2 or 3 years before the opportunity to be more than a bit actress came along.

Sadly for me, I have absolutely no idea how my past life self, Clara Johnson took that first step into acting. But given she arrived in LA in 1925, its quite possible she just joined the corp of bit part actors, working where she could, or its possible that she was spotted, invited in to said group, and just never went further than bit part acting, and chorus line dancing. I suspect back then that even that provided a decent, if not excessive lifestyle, hopefully at some point I can find out more, by one means or another.

Lets say I’ve tried twice before to be plucked off the streets of Hollywood, and offered work in small roles, and it hasnt happened. Fine, the fact I’m in my late fifties, and Harlow was 16, and Clara was 20, might play a part in that! But one thing I can try to do again, is at least be on TV, as part of an audience. Both trips previously, I’ve applied for tickets to go to the Jimmy Kimmel recordings, and not had any success. Anyway, nothing ventured, nothing gained, I’ve tried again today, for both him, and the James Corden recordings. Whether I have any more success, who knows, but I’ve tried. Yes, I’d love to be being interviewed about LGBT issues, and my hopefully revived acting career, but not going to happen, lets face it.

But yes, now I know, just once (and ideally more) I’d like to let my inner Clara come out, and appear on stage, or more, just somewhere in the US. Ah well…?

Right, video time. A little glorious bit of 80’s doo wop for you. Sadly for us, and for him, this group arent on the retro circuit, as the lead singer suffers from MS nowadays. Rocky, you are sadly missed from music.

The merging of personalities

When it comes to story writers on the EMCSA, there are a few that I seem to have a love/hate relationship with. No, not in a personal way, just the nature of their stories. There is one guy who either annoys me totally with his pieces, or I just love the stories, nothing in between. But fine, this isnt about him. This is about a female writer, who uses some most delicious methods to control people, but then has this bad habit of stepping outside my comfort zone over an issue like unnecessary humiliation usage. Her name is Heather, though it isnt the Fembotheather I’ve mentioned before, I might add.

One story of hers that intrigued me for various reasons, was this one. http://192.155.80.152/WorldsOldestProfession/index.html

No, I’ve never worked in the Worlds ‘Oldest Profession’, and nor would I want to, even if I was young enough, and pretty enough to do so. Though I guess, if needs must? Let me add that I’ve known personally a couple of ladies who have, a long time ago, and they told me that it wasnt as bad as the image might be portrayed. Fine, both of these women operated out of safe premises, not the street corners, but fine, I admired them for doing it, and thought, not for me though, thanks.
But this story is supposedly a step up on that, high class escort girls, and fine, the story did have me wondering what that type of work would actually be like? Fine, at 59, and not all that pretty, I’m not likely to find out now, but OK, it made me curious as to what it would actually be like, doing that role? Is it as glamorous as in the story? I know, not going to find an answer here, but anyway…

Her other story I read today that had me thinking, was this one. http://192.155.80.152/BecomingAmber/index.html

No, I dont think again, at my age, and with my looks, I’m likely to find out what its like to be desirable and sexy, through an alter ego like Amber. But equally, I do wonder if my latent, and currently fairly dormant acting talents developed because of that bit part Hollywood actress in my past life? So yes, it had me thinking, if I just let go, and became Clara, would my acting skills, and presumably her dancing talents shine through in me?

I know, this piece is purely fictional, but knowing she’s within me, and even if she never made it as a major star, I’m pretty sure she was more talented in that field than me. So if it was possible to just let go, and really become Clara…hmm?

Oh fine, I’d rather become a big star like Jean Harlow, but even now, that little edge in talent, that might actually get me some decent roles, fascinating to consider? But yes, I cant deny that I’d love to become Clara, on my trip to Hollywood, if only to see the city as she would, allowing for the differences in time at least.

A saucy promo, one of my stories where you could say that Clara and I did become 1? https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/576469
Go on, make us both happy, not a big price! Oh, and Jean appears twice too!

Video time. For becoming someone else, or merging personalities, one song instantly came to mind, this one

Spirit in the sky?

Oh fine, not hard to work out the video, but which version. Quite a song, twice been a ‘one hit wonder’ and another artist who recorded it, topped charts, but was last hit of his career! So is this song jinxed, who knows?

Firstly let me say, as Dorothy, and Alice have said in a meme, I’ve seen, and done some crazy things in my life. Yes, I believe in ghosts, and there have been a couple of times (even excluding the weirdness with things in my room, in the past) when I have firmly believed I have been in the presence of ghosts, though as far as I know, I’ve never actually seen one. Clearly the intrigue about the ghosts of Harlow, and one of her former husbands, Paul Bern intrigue me no end. True or not, no idea, though the comments relating to 1 sighting of Jean suggests the ghost was sassy enough to have been her! But hey, most people have an idea how she would behave, so cautious of saying it was her, though.

Indeed, my only contact with people from a past life, is my famous past life regression, and because of the nature of it, my memories of the whole event are slightly vague. Sadly not recorded, as I’m told ‘my voice’ was nothing like my own, so clearly it was Clara talking!

In my sheltered life, I’ve never been to a medium. I have no desire to talk to my parents ever again, and until Clara appeared, in truth, I had no one who had passed away that I wanted to talk to. Now, if I got the chance to talk to Jean, or Clara, you bet I would! Nor have I ever been to a seance, not in a serious sense, via a medium, or even that thing that so many teens seemed to do, with the Ouija Board!

But yes, when a friend in LA was discussing holding a seance later this year, I was interested. Even more so when May was suggested as a possible date. Sadly it looks like it will happen before I reach town, but yes, I would have gone if I’d been there. I know, Clara probably wouldnt show, and I’m even more certain Jean wouldnt have done, but you can never tell! In truth, I’d rather it be Clara, as I’d love to know more about her, given the exceedingly limited information available about her. I hope to solve some of that issue in September, but fine, if I found out more in May, and I could go and pay my respects, that would just be so special! Oh to know her married name! No, I have no great desire to look through all the Los Angeles marriage records from 1937 to about 1942, if I can help it! But…? Though I guess, if someone could get me entry into the records office, I could be tempted to spend a few hours looking!

So yes, if anyone knows of a genuine medium, or seance event, in LA, between May 18, and 26, let me know. No, I cant afford a private appointment before you ask, far too poor for that!

Right, the video. The song you know, the version you might not. This is the middle version that reached Number 1, and no, I’m not either of the women in this lol!

Time for a bit of surgery?

No, let me say before anyone thinks otherwise, I dont mean major surgery on my knee…yet! I suspect that next autumn/winter I’m going to have to bite the bullet, and actually get it operated on, but not just yet! I’m also trying to give people chance to get me a new cybernetic body, or at least a knee joint by then, but not too hopeful on that!

No, this will be surgery, but of the cosmetic kind! No, not breast enhancement, I’ll leave that to the stories, thank you very much. Mind, if someone was prepared to pay for them to maybe grow a little, and make them a little more toned, I might not say no, but anyway…But no, I dont want ‘melons’ on my chest, thank you very much.

As a few who have been around a couple of years, or more would know, I have a slight tremor in my hands, which makes the idea of doing my own make up, just about impossible. Its fine for most general things, but if I try to do anything delicate, doesnt work! Anyway, a couple of years ago (just over), an ex work colleague in Newbury offered to take the issue off my hands, by providing me with the semi permanent make up look. Yes, it looked great, indeed it still does, though as is the norm with this sort of thing, it does need topping up every couple of years, or so. Thats right, its time for that!

So, 5 weeks today, I could jokingly say I’m going under the knife, but more truthful to say, I’m going under the make up tool! In truth, its been so long since I had the eyebrows waxed, I have no idea how well they look, but I know the lips still look good, as does the beauty spot! Yes, I need to get a bit of body maintenance done before then, believe me! At least there is one blessing now, I can afford it, just about. Why do I say that? Because its not just the treatment, its the train fare to the South of England, an overnight stay in a hotel, so, if by some miracle, someone wants to help with the cost, feel free to offer lol!

Sadly, as far as I know, the chamber to give me the full Jean Harlow makeover still doesnt exist, but fingers are crossed. Not that I know how I’d cope with looking 25 again, but anyway…lol! Equally, only being 5 foot 2 tall, hmm? But fine, for that image, I’d do it! 😀

No, the lady doing it isnt strictly a doctor, as such, but this one came to mind, as opposed to using the obvious Thompson Twins track. I know, 70’s disco, but you’ll survive lol…