How would it feel?

As someone definitely more into the technological side of mind control, rather than the relatively ‘tamer’ version applied through hypnosis, I’ve always wondered how it would actually feel to be mind controlled, or brainwashed, in reality. Of course, let me say, that as its all fictional, and impossible in real life, this is purely hypothetical, but…?

Strictly the mind control side of things depends on what is done to the lucky person, sorry, victim of the mind control. Some are taken over so totally that not only do they think that their new thoughts are their own, they may not even realize they’re being controlled! Of course there are others, where they know they are being controlled, but are hopeless to resist it, to any degree. And yes, you get a few where resistance does happen, for a while at least, but in the end…the inevitable happens.

But the one I’m going to look into more tonight, is the actual brainwashing stuff. Usually, thankfully in stories, if someone is brainwashed, they tend to get reprogrammed with new thoughts, so unless you’re turning them into an actual robot, or robot like machine, why not just tamper with the thoughts in the first place, rather than making all that effort? Well, I suppose if you want to create a whole new identity, or person, its easier that way, to wipe clean, then start again, but if you just want control over someone…?

But lets say you brainwash someone, or more ideally in my case, are thoroughly brainwashed, what does it feel like for the recipient? Are you literally blank minded, incapable of doing anything, or recognizing anyone around you, without being commanded to do so? Is there actually any point in brainwashing someone, and not actually reprogramming them to obey commands anyway? And if brainwashed, is it simply a blank minded state of blissfulness, or something more? You cant think surely, if your mind has been erased, or does something else kick in, to counteract that fact?

A question I’m going to ask of any hypnotist reading this, though I guess none will answer, regardless, is could you actually ‘brainwash’ a willing victim through hypnosis? I only ask because I’m curious to know what its actually like to feel like you’ve been brainwashed, even temporarily like this, just to discover what it actually feels like. And if literally brainwashed, in that way, and unable to think for themselves, could you then override the practice that the subject has to be willing to do things suggested to him. Because normally, anyone could react, and stop anything happening to them (despite fictional hypnosis stories that suggest otherwise), but if your mind has been wiped clean, in theory at least…? Hmm?

Yes, if anyone quite literally wants to show me, or let me experience it, I’d love to. Whether you then leave me as a mindless, obedient robot, hmm? 😉

Right, video time. One of those Slade songs that even if you’re old enough to remember them, unless you were a big fan like me, you probably dont know it, but you should!

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Morality in a mind control world?

Its fair to say that generally in mind control stories, moral scruples are one of the last things that the controller seems to worry about. So yes, its fair to say that when you read a concept where the main rule is that you can only mind control willing victims, off an agreed list, or face the consequences, is quite something. But yes, I found one today, and rather good it is too!

http://192.155.80.152/List/index.html

Oh fine, I’d love to be on that willing submissive list, but I suspect they’re looking for younger, prettier women than me! Oh, and on top of that, its fiction of course, but anyway…its a great idea! Though fine, I might prefer to remember being controlled, than having it all erased as a fond memory, but hey, you cant have everything!

I would imagine the concept of morally needing to clean everything away afterwards might come as strange to some wannabee mind controllers, but hey, I like it! I suppose because both sides get the bit (or lot) of kink that they seek, but then at the end of it, everything is fine! Interesting to explain to potential mind controlled submissives though, but obviously it appeals to more than me. Hmm?

Talking about morality in your actions, reminds me a lot about acting, in that you get to play parts that really arent you! But yes, again, I always enjoyed doing that. Hey, I probably even played dominant type roles, and that definitely isnt me!

Right, video time. I have no idea why I havent used this before, even if the title in no way reflects Jean Harlow, you cant believe I wouldnt have used a song called Platinum Blonde by now! But in a sense, this fits here, as it talks about a young lady, acting in a role that really wasnt her, and though she started off enjoying it, despite what she done, she soon changed her mind. Me, yes, I’ve done some weird stuff in my time, but doesnt mean I wouldnt do it again, given the chance. Oh, and fine, I’m a Platinum Blonde too!

I suspect most of my readers will not have heard of Prelude, but you should have! They are probably most famous for the acapella version of the Neil Young song, After The Goldrush, but this is pretty good too, give it a chance without me needing to mind control you! 😛

You knew you weren’t a movie star!

Yes, that anniversary I was talking about yesterday? Yes, 2 years ago today, I was introduced (of sorts) to my past life, bit part actress, and dancer self, Clara Johnson!

The day actually started with the unexciting setting of Albany Greyhound station, and ended in a budget Choice Group hotel, but what happened in between…Wow!

Well, not all wow. The trouble with meeting someone you’ve seen one picture of, for both of us, in a city neither of us knew, well, it was fun! But eventually we got together, headed off to his office in New Hampshire, and…

Past life regression time! I’d had a friend tell me that it really worked, but fine, it sounded incredible to me, all the same. But he took me back through a couple of stages of my life first, to prove it to me, then went one step further, back beyond the womb, and…

A cute voice, that certainly wasnt mine, said “Hi there.” and giggled.

It seemed his first questions were where, and when, so when I answered “Hollywood, 1928.”, he apparently had a ‘Surely she cant really be Harlow moment?’.

No, I wasnt. As I proudly answered the next question, my name, it seems I said “Clara Johnson.”

Seems we did a bit of her life story, but by the time, I came back out of trance, and was allowed to remember what had happened (which generated a whole load of ‘Oh my God!’ moments), he was trying to find her on IMdb, and there she was, one movie credit, she really was for real. Yes, bit part actresses, and dancers (I found out the latter about 5 months later, with help from 1930 LA census details) didnt get credited back then, but we had one piece of evidence, so…I also managed to find year of birth, the state she was born in, when she moved to LA, and from where, at that point. So on top of the few pieces of info she gave up in regression, I know a little about her, but far from enough! Maybe some day…?

After I’d recovered from the shock of the news, I had been a mother as well, so…

Yes, what should have been, and indeed was amazing, was the creation of Jean Harlow-bot, which culminated in me seeing her face in a mirror, not mine, and doing a brief interview, very much as Jean! I was given a trigger, so that I could go back to that state, but after 2 years, I have long since forgotten what it was. But yes, it was fun to use, when I did! In truth, I’m pretty sure he has, too.

But yes, my special memory of the day will always be discovering Clara Johnson, even over that. I know, but…I was tempted, when I was doing the name change, but being Clara Johnson, twice in my ‘life’ might have been a bit too much, lol!

Right, video time. In this case, she knew she wasnt a movie star, but its nice old song

Third finger, left hand

Yes, fine, that was the video I wanted to put up tonight, but could I find a good, live performance of it, sadly no! Anyway, I’ve found an even more vintage delight for you, which I think will do just fine.

Recently, a link to these, sadly fictional rings, was posted on one of the Forums I visit.

http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-288

Yes, I know, there will be some of a feminist nature who would have a fit over such a ring, in real life. Fine, I understand. Submissive little me, who would love to make a better wife, and step mother than my natural skills would ever let me, I’d love one of those rings put on my finger! Thankfully, I’m too old to let any concerns about the desire to be a mother myself be an issue! Step mother, maybe, mother, nope!

Me, I’d love to be the perfect 50’s style mum, perfect cooking skills, wonderful about the house, and all that. I know, most women would have fits, and see it as so sexist, but not me! Alright, ideally this 50’s wife knows how to run a home with modern equipment, so that I can at least use a modern washing machine, oven, and the like, but I’m sure I could?

Personally, I think my main issue would be finding a man that wanted me as the perfect little wife in the first place! But yes, if he wants to buy me, and make me wear this engagement ring, oh yes please! I know it says the man has to wear one too, but if we can get round that, I’d be fine. But yes, the idea of being the perfect housewife, and step mum (optional), would be absolute heaven for me. Yes, shame these rings are fictional, I must say.

Oh, if you want a smile, about a different engagement ring, try this video

Fine, the music video. I remember this song, from when I was a young child, indeed I owned said single at one time in my life. Never been at a wedding as a bride yet, mind! 😉

Knowing me now, and in the future

Yes, as regular readers will know, every so often I read a story that inspires me to blog about it, or the concept of it at least. And yes, today was one of those days. A link to the story

http://192.155.80.152/VisitorTang/index.html

Oh, by the way, for those concerned, the mind control is only hypnosis, and the concept its used for, is just so sweet. Fine, if you want to read the story, without knowing the plot, go do so now!

OK, you’re back?

No, I’ve never met myself from my future, as far as I know, and given my age, I dont think its going to happen now! Pretty sure I havent got 30 years left, and I certainly hope thats the case at present, the way things are. But yes, it might have been interesting, had it happened when I was younger, and could have moved things along in a different way, if I’d had the choice. And fine, re the story, let me add that I’m no fan of piercings (beyond ears, once), and despite having one small one, not a big fan of tattoos either.

But in terms of looking back/forward at how lesbian relationships were looked upon, and events, even happening now, it makes an interesting historical piece. If anyone from the future had told me, at the beginning/middle of the 80’s, that single sex marriage would be legal, I’d have laughed at them. But here we are now, and…

In terms of myself, my only other voice I’ve heard, was the one from the past, and that technically wasnt me, it was my past life. But as was said at the time, her voice was so different to mine, it was quite amazing. Yes, sweet little Clara Johnson. But of course, I couldnt talk to her at the time, unlike Jessica in the story.

I’ve never yet, considered getting Clara, and her modern day self, CJ, to meet in one of my stories, I just feel that would be a little too weird, for all involved! Mainly because, despite all the crazy things she’s done, CJ has not yet done any time travelling! And fine, given my attachment to both, I’m pretty sure I’d struggle to write a scene with both of them in, anyway!

But yes, I wonder what we would do, if in our early twenties, we could meet ourselves, in our early fifties, and maybe change our lives for the better? Possibly its best that its only fiction!

The video, well, knowing me, knowing me, isnt a song title, so this is as close as I could get!

Dont Leave Me This Way

Mind, if you’re going to leave me in a hypnotic trance, I might just be lying there! 😉 No, seriously, I know all the rules of hypnosis, I’m only kidding, though it might be nice, all the same. Though I know of at least one person who plans to turn me into a permanent hypno bot, I should be so lucky! Would be nice, but with all the circumstances, I’ll settle for dreaming about it for now. More practically, there is one other very nice guy, with a lovely surname, but again, he’s in the US, so pardon me for hoping it might come to fruition, without getting over excited just yet.

Fine, Saturday. A brief trek across town by bus, to get to the hypnotherapist. I guess the weirdest think about that, is having to pay bus fares, even if you buy a day pass, I cant remember the last time I did that around here! I suspect 2009, in between jobs, as I would have let the pass expire, especially as I had a 1 week break in the US in that gap between jobs. But otherwise…

Yes, I went under easily, no big surprise there. And no, I dont remember anything sinister, or naughty happening, though some might say more’s the pity! Just a very pleasant relaxing, and stress busting session, which seems to have done me a lot of good, even if I still struggled through a phone session of competency based questions this afternoon, some things never change!

The more interesting event happened afterwards, to be honest, when we got onto the subject of my past experiences under hypnosis. Yes, I avoided mentioning one session, for good reason! But the subject of my past life regression came up, and we talked about Clara, and what I’d discovered at the time, or shortly after the event, and what I’ve been able to find out about her since.

So much so, that now she wants to study the past life regression side of hypnosis! I mean, she might have been tempted by it anyway, but I helped. Apparently, she tried it with a friend later, after I’d gone, and now she wants to do more. So maybe Clara wont be hiding her secrets much longer, with luck! Would be so handy if I could discover her married name, if nothing else!

But no, she didnt leave me in a hypnotised way, it was all done very professionally, and if anyone from this area wants a hypnotherapist recommended, ask, and I’ll pass on her details.

The video, very big clue in the title, I guess!

Make It Easy On Yourself

Well, tomorrow, for 45 minutes or so, I can let all my concerns, and worries about the job hunting, money, and every other issue just fade away. Snag is, at the end of that period, they are still going to have to be solved. Yes, I’m going for a session of hypnosis tomorrow. Thankfully its not too far to go, just to the outskirts of Huddersfield, and its not too expensive, as it was a reduced special offer price.

This should have happened on the day that I started training at the ‘job from hell’, the point at which seemingly things have tended to go downhill pretty fast! Yes, if I could turn back time, I would say no, have done this, done the clinical trial, and fine, hindsight is a wonderful thing!

But anyway, just before Christmas, I contacted the person again, to see if the offer was still open to rearrange my relaxation, and stress busting hypnotherapy session, and thankfully, it is. Irony now, is that I will have to pay a bus fare to get there, as the pass ran out at the end of the year, but anyway…I need something! Hopefully it will do me some good at least, because I guess I’m getting close to breaking point, in all honesty.

Oh fine, yes, if I could get her to ‘reboot’ my mind totally, that might not be a bad thing, but this is a start, at least. And fine, I will enjoy being ‘under their control’ for a little while at least. I know, strictly I’m not, but we mind control fetishists can dream of such things happening at least!

But hopefully, whatever happens, it does me some good stress wise, because I need something to do so.

The video, an absolute oldie here, from the mid 1960’s! Yes, the clue is in the title, but that may not be a lot of help!