When I’m calling Alexa

Its funny, how at a time when I might have been trying to convince American friends that I really dont need to go over there to get all my forthcoming surgery over there, how the NHS likes to keep shooting itself in the foot. Early this week I got to read an article that nowadays, not only do you have to wait the standard version of ‘forever’ for surgery, but now you’re likely to wait about 40-50% longer than forever for said surgery. This is because they have rearranged the salary payments to specialists that it no longer gives them any good reason to work overtime to try and reduce the horrendous backlog, and its therefore growing rapidly.

Of course, as always, if I had the funds to go privately, all 3 issues could probably be looked into, and dealt with, faster than you could blink! Given my American friends tell me that the specialists over there are better than ours, that is hardly likely to endear them to the idea of me having surgery over here! In truth, it probably killed my resistance, especially given it was only recently that there was a report saying that complaints about service (when you can get it) were going up again, how could I do so?

Then came today. Our health service seem to think we dont need to go to medical staff for advice any more, we can all get it from Amazon, via Alexa.  Now, giving that only 10% of the population currently have said service (unless they’re going to provide it to all for free?), we have a problem. On top of that, you have the issue that some people are only going to exaggerate their symptoms, others will make them sound less than they are, and we’re only asking for chaos to ensue. And thats not even starting to talk about ‘her’ issue with understanding some accents, and the numerous privacy issues this will cause, well…

It might well, as stated, save a few people from going to A&E for minor issues, but when she gets it wrong, and someone who needed to go to doctor, or hospital, and didnt, well, the legal people will be happy!

And just think, all the money they are paying Amazon for this service could be spent on something useful, like the ever growing surgery lists! But no, lets waste it this way instead. Ah well…

OK, the video is like me, a real vintage item, its not actually the song title, though many think it is.

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Brainwaves computed, human now ready for robotisation chamber

OK, for those here purely for the serious details, the EEG went fine on Friday, nothing major traced, if anything too boring, I may need to do a sleep deprivation version before the MRI on the 28th, just to see if they can get the brain to give up a few more clues. But yes, this is the ‘weird blog’, you dont want a straightforward description do you? If you do, go to my other blog, its there. So…(reality ends here)

Given that I was volunteering for brain processing, and robotisation, they didnt bother with the boring things like sedation, and restraints, though I wouldn’t have minded if they had! So they did the boring stuff, like attaching the electrodes, and wiring my brain up thoroughly to the system. A couple more electrodes on my shoulders, just to check the nanite progress was satisfactory, then onto the sofa, for the process to begin.

I dont know what voltage they were using on my brain, but in truth, I never felt a thing. Well, maybe a little tingle, but otherwise… Initially I just closed my eyes, laid back, and they started to record, and presumably override my brain waves. After 10-15 minutes of this, we moved on to the next stage, the robotic deep breathing stuff, presumably to prepare my body for the different system I will soon be using for that process.

After that, they started with the flashing light, and the brainwashing stuff, by means of getting me to open, then close my eyes, so that the hypnotic patterns appeared in front of my eyes.

Then that was it. If they have got enough brain data, the next stage will be the robotisation chamber, on the 28th, to complete the process. If not, they’ll call me back, put me to sleep for a couple of hours, and do the full works on me. I’d love that, but I must do as my Masters/Mistresses decide is the best course.

Either way, on 28th, I’ll slide into the chamber, and 30 minutes or so later, out will pop Clara-Bot, totally obedient to every command given to her.

(Reality again)

OK, seriously, yes, the MRI scanner awaits me 3 weeks today, on a Sunday morning. I wouldnt mind in the slightest if Clara-Bot came out, but I wont put good money on it. But should be an interesting experience. I have got to lose earrings that I’ve had in for about 10 years removed before then, that might be fun!

But other than that, I’ll just be glad to get it sorted, and get on with whatever awaits me in life. Mind, if anyone does actually want to turn me into Clara-Bot, before, or after that date, oh please! I might see if I can get into the flotation pod again before then, help me to relax, as I’m told its quite an experience. Oh, and if Donna wants to bring out Clara with some crystal magic, and some spine treatment before that, why not? But I will have to speak with her on that, as I will need transport help to get there.

OK, video time. Kylie Minogue has once or twice given a clue that she might have a robot fetish herself, and this was one of them. I cant imagine Clara having had one, but who knows?

Angel of the mourning

Seriously, if anyone cant work out the video tonight, be ashamed.

Its fair to say that my brain seizures made me contemplate my mortality, especially given the effort I seeming put up to try and not recovery, lol. But yes, I’m 61, I’m not getting any younger, and all that. Besides which, if my brain gets much more busted, how much longer do I really want.

I beat Clara Johnson (my previous life) at least, given I can assume she passed away, somewhere around 50, with lung cancer being a good guess at the cause. Of course, Jean Harlow only made 26, so in comparison to those, I’m doing pretty well. Of course, Lillian Gish lasted to 8 months short of her century, Mary Carlisle made it to 104, and Olivia De Havilland  who celebrated 103, only yesterday!

But all the same, when you hear of a healthy young sportsman passes away at the age of 27, seemingly of natural causes, its got to hit everyone pretty hard. Especially when you consider that Tyler Skaggs, of the Los Angeles Angels had only just pitched his game in sequence for the team, in Texas.

Dont get me wrong, I’ve had more than a few people pass away in my life, that I knew, but no one that young. I have no idea how his family can possibly feel, and though I know they wont read this, I want to send my best wishes, all the same.

So yes, even ignoring the currently more minor health issues of mine, like the knees, and the arthritis, even ignoring the more serious ones, like my back/spine, and of course my brain, and one other I’d rather not mention, at least currently, I’m still alive.

RIP Tyler Skaggs, thanks for the pleasure you bought to your family, and millions of baseball fans, especially Angels ones.

I wonder if my acting career will ever reach a point where my passing makes the news, somehow I doubt it.

OK, video time. Juice Newton, as I hope you’re expecting

Cruel to be cloned?

I know, I’m easy going about such matters, and besides I need to do a suitable blog for her, and this is meant to be weird stuff, so…?

On the 24th May, I went to my Doctor’s surgery for a standard blood test, sort of 2 month follow up on the one done after my initial brain seizures. Of course, not very long before that, I’d had the next bout (not sure if its 2nd, or 3rd?) of seizures, an overnight stay in a hospital, and numerous blood tests done. But still, had to be done…

Last week, just over the standard week you leave these things for results, I rang, they hadnt got them back, but then again, there’d been a bank holiday, so maybe not a big shock? So I left it another week, and tried again today. Staff at surgery still cant find the results, so told to leave it with them.

This afternoon, the surgery rang back, they are nowhere to be found, hospital has no trace of them! As she said to me, they know they took my blood, they know the sample was collected, but after that…? Its probably just got lost, or mixed up with another sample at the hospital, but…was it?

Was my sample collected by aliens, dressed as medical people, and whisked off to the home planet that Eric reckons I come from? I should be so lucky, but anyway… Talking of which, someone recently put up the trailer video for ‘V’, so I played along with thats how I arrived on Earth.

Or was it a mad scientist with plans to screen my blood, so that he could clone Clara Johnson? Well…

Yes, I would say the chances of the latter 2 options is 0.01% or less, but wouldnt it be fun if they had?

Anyway, the blood test is now being done again on 26th, but it does mean I wont have the results when I see the neurologist next week. And does that mean that will be checks, or brainwashing, well…? Sadly, the former, I guess? But a girl can hope…? Not sure how much there is left to wash, anyway!

Video time. You might have worked out the song, but this is the ‘Behind the scenes’ version for added fun!

 

A mermaid in her tail

Just to mention that 3 people at ‘The MC Garden’ deserve a special mention for this, known as Rosie, Kris, and Legion, though I know for sure that 2 have different names, and the third says she has, so who am I to think, or say otherwise?

Lets just say that Rosie has a mermaid fantasy that makes mine look tame, but comments seem to suggest that she has a parent who wouldnt approve of it, lol? Legion is a wonderful guy, has helped me a ton, and would probably get me a full body mermaid suit (I couldnt do a bikini at 61), including tail, if he could easily do so, and had the spare cash laying around. Kris is just a nice guy who looks like the singer in the video,  though I’m sure he’d deny it.

I think its fair to say at this point that the origin of my back problems goes back before my more serious brain issues, and just to remind people, the spine got damaged, bit of a fracture, and hurt a lot. Then my brain went AWOL, and took my mobility with it. The irony being that the actual back pain has lessened since then. But walking, oh please, no chance. As some might also remember, when I could get around, I was doing a flotation pod thing, to take the pressure off my spine, which was great, but now I cant get across town, ah well…

The mermaid look tends to go 2 ways, both of which end in a tail, which I must admit, would be fun. One is what I’m going to call the Ariel look, which we can call bikini and tail, which might be fine if you’re young, with a good figure, and looks. No, at my age, not going to happen.

No, before you mention it, I’m not even considering the no bra look, lol 😛

The more practical look for a ‘mermaid’ of my age is the one where the tail sort of melds into a ‘swimsuit’ or extended tail, that covers you up, and supports you (critical for me), all the way over the cleavage! Yes, that would sort my spine out, being held in place like that! The big snag, even if I had it, given that I dont live in a tropical paradise, would be where to wear it. They might say otherwise, but I dont see your average public pool letting someone in the water in full mermaid garb!

Might actually be great fun in the flotation pod, but I would either need to be ‘tossed’ into the pod by someone, or I would need to literally get into it by the pod, and flop back into it. Would need to get out of suit before getting out, but hey, you do it in private, so…?

But yes, I must admit, doing that, even only for a photo shot would be a whole lot of fun! So if anyone is offering…

The video is one of those songs, that at least here in the UK, was very much a one hit wonder. The song, and the video is quite crazy, but then again, so am I! And yes, the lead singer isnt Kris, but looks a lot like him!

She lives! She moves!

The irony of these seizures has been the fact that not all the effects have been negative. The first ones, back in March may have done nothing for the state of my brain, but it eased the pain in my back. Now whether this is because somewhere along the line it pushed something in my spine almost back into place, who knows? But yes, fine, I’d rather have a painful back, and a fully functioning brain, than this. The funny thing was, even though my back hurt less, it did nothing for my mobility, in fact making it far worse than it was. So whether something else somewhere wrecks the process that helps me to walk, no idea?

Anyway, as you may have gather, seizure session 2 on Saturday seems to have bashed my brain a bit more, but improved my mobility! Again, no idea why, unless it related to above?

4-5 weeks back, I had to send off a report for work on my health, and in my stupidity, I thought I’d try to walk to the post box, and back, given its only about 400 yards round journey, albeit, with a fair slope involved. Yes, I did make it there and back, but it nearly killed me, I was shattered on return.

This week, I had to send off one of those sick note certificate things, to cover the first few days after the event, and I did the same. Well, I wouldnt call it a stroll, but yes, it didnt stretch me all that much. I’m not saying I’d want to walk miles, but a short distance, especially on a flat surface (that definitely isnt flat), I probably could.

Next Thursday is Euro Election Day here, for better or worse. Not commenting on which I feel, or who I might be supporting, need to be neutral. Its a bit further to walk, there is a bit of a slope (though not as steep as from post box) involved to get to voting place, but as its the only way I can get to vote (havent arranged postal voting for future yet), if its reasonable, I might just give it a go, as Ella will be away at the time, and Eric hasnt yet given me mobility wheelchair driving lessons! Probably not, it probably would be pushing my limits, but before this week, didnt even think it was possible. but now…?

So yes, as the blog title says, She lives (just), she walks (not awful in short bouts), but sadly, unlike the video attached, I havent been ‘reactivated’ with large amounts of electricity! The amusing thing is, the hospital I was taken to, is one of the local ones that does ECT treatments! But no ‘Bride of Frankenstein’ treatment for me, all the same. Ah well…

No, I dont think I want something quite that drastic done to me, though I do wonder if ‘resetting’ my brain that way would be the worst thing possible at present. But Trans-cranial Magnetic Stimulation, I just wonder if that might put things right, or at least help? Any thoughts, any offers? Yes, the video is that scene, from that film, and yes, I’d love to recreate it, regardless of any stimulation of any kind actually being used! Who me, jealous? You bet!

Spinning around, and around

Right, before we get to the serious stuff, you’re right, there was no blog over the weekend, sorry, but I was, err, otherwise engaged! Yes, had some more seizures on Saturday afternoon, and after 7 hours or so, they finally stabilised me enough to park me off to a hospital ward for the rest of the night. Gather I was fed a few drugs to keep me alive, but none of the illegal ones, lol! Was released yesterday afternoon, but was feeling a bit weak, so yes, stuff happens.

Its funny, because two subjects that have come up recently on Forums are the Avatars as per Surrogate movie, and Robot Clones from a dear man who knows I would enjoy that far too much done to me. Yes, if anyone can arrange, or even a straight robotisation, please contact me urgently, as I’m not sure how much longer this organic body will last!

But having got that out of the way…

Despite the fact that nowadays we have several hundred TV channels (when I was young, we had 2!), Eric couldnt find anything that took his fancy this afternoon, not even a show about my relatives (aliens, running joke, still desperately seeking a good alien suit for revenge), so he headed to his film collection, and went to an old favourite of his, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

The thing that struck me was that for all the praise we throw on the Berkeley musicals of the ’30’s (yes, they were brilliant), people do tend to forget some later spectaculars. And now, looking at that movie through ‘Clara Johnson’s’ eyes, its easy to spot just how cleverly the musical numbers were done in this. I’m not saying Buzby wouldnt have said ‘hold my beer’, and topped them, but they were pretty impressive all the same. But yes, the most incredible thing is, 50 years on, Dick Van Dyke is still a decent mover, considering his age. Its also pretty much a ‘who’s who’ of British acting class of that era too.

I could have picked any number of song routines from the film to impress you with, but I’m going to pick one where the clever stuff isnt done by Van Dyke, but by Sally Ann Howes. Yes, fine, dancing as the girl on the music box would be a whole lot of fun!