Waiting For A Girl Like You

Fine, I admit when I signed up to a dating agency, I thought I’d be boring, and straight, and advertise it as a woman seeking a man. And yes, it was an interesting experience, but as someone said to me, after I did it, after all this time, I’d be better off looking for another woman instead. And yes, maybe they were right? I still claim to be bi, but I suppose after all this time, the practical, and sensible choice would be another woman, right?

So fine, yesterday, I got around to changing the ad, so it reads woman seeking a woman. Funnily enough, the rush into the inbox is nowhere near as dramatic! In fact, the only message I’ve had since doing so, is from a man I was talking to beforehand, to apologise for having not been around! So I might have killed off my dating chances, but we will see? Thats not to say that if the right man came along, I couldnt swing back, because I could, but for now, its goodbye to that kind of love, as far as the advert goes at least!

Yes, in my dreams, a rich (or even well off) man, or woman, from Los Angeles will come and sweep me off my feet, turn me into their blushing bride, and we live happily ever after. But yes, this is real life, not a fairy tale, so not likely to happen, I’m pretty sure!

Anyway, hopefully, sometime soon, my Princess will come for me. No, I wont be holding my breath on that, but anyway…But yes, if any of you out there happen to know a Prince, or Princess looking for a fifty something bride, give them, me, or both of us, a shout. No, I wont be expecting that call, dont worry.

But at least now, I’m probably being truer to myself in that search, and thats for the best.

The video, what I’m hopefully doing, though I suspect it might be a fruitless wait, all the same

Its that time of year

Yes, its that time of year (well, one of them at least) when the Master of the EMCSA disappears from view for a few weeks, presumably to go on holiday, though it might just be to top up his collection of mind controlled slaves lol! What this means, is that we actually get a break between updates, not the regular weekly basis. In fact, the next one is 3 weeks away, the weekend of June 8.

Good news, bad news for me. Good news, I can get on and do other things, more on that shortly. Bad news, the first couple of updates when he gets back are usually large, a nightmare for people like me who try to review as many stories as possible. I know, some would say, just read the authors, and stories you know, but I know what will happen, I’ll miss a new writing gem that way, so…I know, I’m silly, but I try all the same.

Ah, the good news, well even if I’m not going to try and blast through everything in 1 week under these circumstances (this weeks update is slightly larger than most of late), but even so, 3 days reading (normally I get 2) will see me through. All of which means, with a bit of luck, I should get time to do other things in the interval. And much though I probably will do a bit of studying up on hotels and the like for next year, that wont take that long in all honesty.

What it will enable me to do, is get back to writing my latest story, which in theory at least, only has 1 chapter to go. Snag is, its had one chapter to go now for about 3 months! And before anyone says the last chapter was posted only in March, as my editor will back me up, it was written well before then! In all honesty, I was struggling to get Chapter 5 right in my head, I had an idea all planned out, and then took a dislike to it. So much so, that when I did have a 2 hour writing opening, I couldnt get it done. Shortly after that I had a massive rethink, worked out a plan that I do like, but since then, havent had the chance to commit a word to the laptop. Now, in the next 2 weeks, I should get the opportunity to put that right.

Oh, and if anyone is wondering what I’m talking about, this is the story


Some might note the setting for the first few chapters, and spot the Louise Brooks connection, absolutely right. And no, I’ve never been to Cherryvale in my life, Google (especially maps) and local websites have helped a lot in that sense. I would love to visit, but given its a public transport black hole, its hard to see it happening. The thing is, the next (and probably final) chapter is being set somewhere else, albeit another place with a well known Brooksie connection, and one I will get to visit next April, God willing. Where, oh, Rochester, NY if you really want to know. And another LB landmark is the target for September next year, that being Wichita, but have no plans to feature that in the story.

I have been to Rochester before, but given it was nearly 25 years ago, I dont remember much about it. In fact, in all honesty, the only thing I remember is us going down to the lake, and looking out over it for a few hours, and thats it. This time I plan to discover a lot more about it in a week, and pay tribute at a certain special graveside as well. But thats all nearly a year off, and the story will be finished long before then lol!

So in one sense, thanks to Simon, for the writing gap. In the other sense, aargh for all the reading I will have when he gets back. Should he be one of my readers, have a great break, but I doubt he is somehow.

The song in the video is one I’ve used before, but the version is a different, live one. Guess where the venue might be, and its not Cherryvale lol!



I want to know what love is!

Yes, assuming the right people read this, it may bring about an amusing reply or two. If someone wants to think this is about him, then fine, or maybe its just another massive tease on my behalf.

Right, balloons deflating as we talk.I suspect? EMCSA stories have just about every level of sex going, from the stories that drive me crazy by being nothing more than one long pornographic scene, right through to the artists who barely bring the matter up, or ignore it completely! Technically you cant ignore it for a story at the website, but some do a pretty good job of it all the same, me included at times!

But the stories there are a fine case of you can have sex, without any modicum of love, but you nearly always get sex if love plays any part in the story. And lets face it, its not often just plain missionary position sex either lol. Just about every known position, plus a few hopefully purely in fantasies seems to spring to life in said stories. Me, my sex is generally pretty straightforward, but not always, it has to be said. But equally, I’ve never written a long sex scene in my life, while others can use several thousand words describing exactly the same thing.

So, all writers are different, but then I think we knew that already. And we all write various sexual permutations as well. But not all seem to know what love is. Many because its “just about the sex, baby.”, but there are a few like me who just dont understand love as a concept. Or thought they didnt, though one person is trying to end that mystery for me, thats for sure. Whether it works, whether it comes to anything, hey, who knows, there is a lot of time zones between us. Also, as could be said flirting between messaging friends can be fun, doesnt mean it needs to be taken seriously by either of them.

But yes, someone seems to be doing his best to melt my icy heart, or is that unweld the metal one, who really knows? All I know is, that for the first time since Sara left this life, I’ve got someone who I like seeing messages from in my email box, and thats been a while, just over a year in fact.

As tonights video mentions, “In my life, I’ve had heartache and pains, I dont know if I can face that again.” so I’m not sure how far things can possibly go at any point, mainly because of my heart, mind, and previous traumas in romance. There is also the small problem of how independent I’ve come in life as well.

But I just wanted to say thanks to someone, for giving me a reason (other than to clear out spam) for opening up my email box again, its much appreciated.

The video, well if you havent worked it out by now…I’m disappointed in you! Absolute 80’s power ballad classic for your delight


I just hope someone doesnt kill me for actually posting this!

Oh, and due to the crazy shift arrangements I have at work, I’m now working 9 days on the trot, a good number with overtime tossed in for good measure. So dont expect any new postings before my birthday, my next day off, and I had to ask for that. I dont expect gifts, though any would be nice, given I never get much due to lack of family. But any e-cards would be appreciated, especially Brooksie related ones.

End of begging lol!