Turn me into the perfect wife, and mother, please!

I have a friend who thinks I’ll make the perfect step mother for his children. Yes, as I’m sure he’s unlikely to read this, I’ll happily question his sanity on that matter. Me, who has very happily never had any children in her life, as a mother? Yes, fine, stop laughing now…maybe?

The other snag for me, is that I am thoroughly out of practice in all other issues relating to motherhood! Yes, those little things like being the perfect cook, and everything else, hopelessly out of practice. I’m the only one in the house thats working, so the others tend to do the meals. And fine, even when they’re away, like next week, its going to be meals, of the ready cooked kind, because of the time factor, by the time I get home from work, and the fact I’m hopelessly out of practice at doing anything more.

And yes, I’m talking years, and lots of them since I last did any real, serious cooking, about 15 in all honesty. So, someone thinking I make perfect mother material, hmm? Of course, I guess I can become good mother material, with time, and practice, but yes, there are times when I wish I could be turned into the perfect 50’s housewife, just like that, a la Stepford method ideally! Fine, I’d enjoy that far too much, but why not?

I dont know, can a 58 year old, who has never had kids, has done limited housekeeping skills in many years, and so much more, become the perfect mother? Seriously? It may well be one of those situations where I’ll jump in the water, and swim like a duck, as I guess when something needs to be done, and you get into a groove, it becomes easier?

But yes, what I’m saying is, if anyone knows of a handy neural download, or a complete mental makeover, that would make me at least a semi decent mother, then please, do it to me, asap! Stepford wife supreme would be heavenly, but anything that gives me the skills to be the near perfect home maker, yes please! My wonderful friend, Stacie is saying she’s going to do just that to me, but sadly, I think she’s kidding!

Oh, fine, I have an incentive, lets face it. Who wouldnt want to be a step mum in California, lets face it? Its just that I want to at least be good at it, for his sake, and his children’s sake too, but as things stand, hmm?

So yes, if anyone knows any method that can turn me into a good housewife/working wife, and mum, let me know, I think I might need it! Fine, I’m sure I do, but…

Right, the video. Well, you know me, I love all things vintage, and yes, being ‘transformed’ into the dream 50’s mum/housewife, would be heavenly. In truth, my heart is probably in the 30’s, but of course, the whole ‘dream mother’ scenario of Stepford is so 50’s, that…

Not that this woman would make the perfect 50’s mum, it has to be said. Perfect sex kitten, absolutely, mind. Folks, let me introduce the absolutely amazing, Eartha Kitt!