Whatever happened to, that British actress?

So fine, as I move towards my 59th Birthday tomorrow, I’m feeling philosophical, so just bear with me. I will warn you now, what I will be like this time next year, when I hit the big 6-0, you probably dont want to think about!

So lets turn back time, and think about what might have happened, in an alternate universe. Right, so when I reached 16, I didnt have to leave school, and go out to work, because I had 2 parents living at home, and their ‘dear daughter’ could have stayed on at school, taken her A Levels, carried on acting at school, and then gone on to university (college to my US readers), and taken life from there. Or just maybe, instead of a university, I went to Drama School, on a serious basis.

The obvious outcome from there would have been a modest career, either doing small parts in a large venue, or decent parts in a small venue, until the ‘right person’ came along, and I settled down, got married, parts dried up, family came along, and all that, and it might still have been it. Boring office job, parenthood, or whatever.

Equally, given the reception to my early acting stuff was fair, it might have been better than that, large parts in large venues, a break in the movies, or whatever? If that was the case, would I now be living in LA on a more permanent basis than looking forward to a 10 day apartment break in said city? Now I’m not going to claim I would have been the ‘next’ Jean Harlow, or anything like that, but it might have happened. More likely I’d have been the next Clara Johnson, getting by on lots of ‘low in the credits’ acting roles, and doing other forms of acting, like photo shoots, playing characters at various ‘Conventions’ and the like? But yes, recognized as an actress, at least, which would have been fun.

Instead of which, I had to go out to work, to bring money into a home with a single mother, and though I tried to keep up the acting, it wasnt anything I could do seriously, while holding down another job, commuting to London, or whatever. Didnt stop me keeping up the battle of trying to be an actress (to some degree) until around the turn of the century, when the battle of acting roles, lost out to the job market, and I settled for a more ordinary life, on the whole.

But fine, doesnt stop me now, looking back and just wondering, if at 18, I’d headed off to drama school, where I might be now. Superstar? Bit part actress? Theater travelling actress? Or just someone looking back at her life, and wondering where her acting career got to? One thing is sure, unless we find a way to turn back time, and take that other choice, I will now never know! Still, 9 weeks today, I head to Hollywood, and in my dreams, someone might see me, see the potential actress again, and then…I know, almost certainly not!

The video is also showing my age, as its one of the punk classics. The Stranglers were renowned for not taking themselves too seriously, and this performance sort of proves it!

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Dont look back with regret

(To those few who see both versions of the blog, this is pretty much the one I posted a few days ago on the other blog, but if you want to play spot the differences…?)

I’ll give you one piece of warning, if anyone can work out the video from that, I’m amazed, because its about the biggest double bluff I’ve ever thrown! So no, it definitely isnt an Oasis song, just saying.

Given that I’ve not asked permission, and its a Facebook friend I dont really know personally, I’m not going to say who it was, or provide any sort of link to it, but this morning they posted about considering going to Art School, instead of maybe what they see as a more sensible career. Me, I’d say go for it, if its your wish, regardless. Because the one thing you dont want to be doing in 40 years time, like I could be, is wondering where it might have led you, if you’d taken the braver step. Who knows, it might be for the better, it might be for the worse, but if its your ambition, then go for it!

As I said in the title, I might look back in regret at my not taking my acting talents further. It started in Primary school, continued through Grammar school as a serious thing, even if in truth, I might not have been the worlds greatest actor, but who knows? If I’d gone to Drama courses, at university or something, after school, I might be anywhere now. Hollywood? Well, maybe? I doubt it somehow, but I might be earning a steady salary in the theater, or movies, or…but no, I’m working in an office instead. Its a nice office, dont get me wrong, but if I’d set out to fulfil my dream?

The first few years after I left school (no university, family needs meant I had to get to work ASAP), I did my best to carry on, but once I started commuting further afield to London, it had to take a back seat. I did do some more once in Somerset/Dorset in the 90’s, which was fun, local, and nice to do again. And like riding a bike, I would say I hadnt lost the technique.

Since then, not a lot, and in more recent years, nothing at all, in truth. Why, mainly it is the lack of time, and the nature of my jobs, and everything else, its ground pretty much to a halt. I’d like to think that one day I will get the call, pick up again, and get back to it, though I doubt it now. One friend ‘foresees’ I will, but maybe I’m more practical than her, in accepting that no, my dream of being a star actress are pretty much gone.

Do I regret that? Yes, probably I do, but thats life for me, I guess, and I have to accept that. But do I wonder, if things had been different, and I’d done drama courses, and more, after I’d finished school, either at a drama school, or university, whether I might have made it? Yes, of course I do, even if the chances it would have happened might be slim, there would have been that chance, so…

Fine, I have no guarantees that I would have made it truly as an actress? Again, I’ll never know, but…

So yes, this comment is aimed more at the young, or younger people reading this. If you have a dream for yourself, go for it. If it doesnt work out, you can always get a ‘real job’ later, but give it a try. Just dont be, in 30 or 40 years time, be typing on whatever computer, or related device you’re using by then, your thoughts on wondering what might have been, just saying.

Right, video time. Its not the blog title, but you could say its what I’ve been doing in here. This version is a live version from last year, which truly has the singer reflecting on his life.

This one, 47 years earlier, from the year I changed to Grammar School, is the original version