I want to know what love is!

Yes, assuming the right people read this, it may bring about an amusing reply or two. If someone wants to think this is about him, then fine, or maybe its just another massive tease on my behalf.

Right, balloons deflating as we talk.I suspect? EMCSA stories have just about every level of sex going, from the stories that drive me crazy by being nothing more than one long pornographic scene, right through to the artists who barely bring the matter up, or ignore it completely! Technically you cant ignore it for a story at the website, but some do a pretty good job of it all the same, me included at times!

But the stories there are a fine case of you can have sex, without any modicum of love, but you nearly always get sex if love plays any part in the story. And lets face it, its not often just plain missionary position sex either lol. Just about every known position, plus a few hopefully purely in fantasies seems to spring to life in said stories. Me, my sex is generally pretty straightforward, but not always, it has to be said. But equally, I’ve never written a long sex scene in my life, while others can use several thousand words describing exactly the same thing.

So, all writers are different, but then I think we knew that already. And we all write various sexual permutations as well. But not all seem to know what love is. Many because its “just about the sex, baby.”, but there are a few like me who just dont understand love as a concept. Or thought they didnt, though one person is trying to end that mystery for me, thats for sure. Whether it works, whether it comes to anything, hey, who knows, there is a lot of time zones between us. Also, as could be said flirting between messaging friends can be fun, doesnt mean it needs to be taken seriously by either of them.

But yes, someone seems to be doing his best to melt my icy heart, or is that unweld the metal one, who really knows? All I know is, that for the first time since Sara left this life, I’ve got someone who I like seeing messages from in my email box, and thats been a while, just over a year in fact.

As tonights video mentions, “In my life, I’ve had heartache and pains, I dont know if I can face that again.” so I’m not sure how far things can possibly go at any point, mainly because of my heart, mind, and previous traumas in romance. There is also the small problem of how independent I’ve come in life as well.

But I just wanted to say thanks to someone, for giving me a reason (other than to clear out spam) for opening up my email box again, its much appreciated.

The video, well if you havent worked it out by now…I’m disappointed in you! Absolute 80’s power ballad classic for your delight

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loWXMtjUZWM

I just hope someone doesnt kill me for actually posting this!

Oh, and due to the crazy shift arrangements I have at work, I’m now working 9 days on the trot, a good number with overtime tossed in for good measure. So dont expect any new postings before my birthday, my next day off, and I had to ask for that. I dont expect gifts, though any would be nice, given I never get much due to lack of family. But any e-cards would be appreciated, especially Brooksie related ones.

End of begging lol!

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What did we do before the internet?

Mind, I suspect I might have a few readers here who dont remember that time lol! But equally, there are others who are nearly as mature as me who will remember such times. Or do we?

To be honest, I’m not sure I do anymore! Its about 11 years now that I’ve had a computer of some kind or another. And alright, about 12 years ago someone asked me about buying a computer, and I said, quote, what would I need one for? Oh, was I wrong! I actually started off buying some relatively cheap internet TV thing, simply to see what it was like, not expecting to go far with it, but I was quickly hooked, and within a few months had ordered my own new PC. By todays standards it was slow, basic, and my internet connection was dial up, thats another thing thats changed dramatically!

Over the years I’ve upgraded a few times (sadly still waiting for my cybernetic upgrade though) as computers have improved. In fact the last year or so, I havent had a PC, just a good class laptop, as sitting downstairs with it on my lap is far preferable to having to lurk in my bedroom! Not sure I’m more sociable at home because of that, but guess I must be?

The funny thing is, in real life I’ve never been a big one for friends. I have a few close ones, but that really is about it in real life. And yes, I keep pretty much to myself at work too in all honesty. The funny thing is, I have a good number of cyber friends who I’ve never met (well, possibly have met one, but we wouldnt have known it), and in most cases, are never likely to meet, but all the same I feel some sort of connection to. Its still sort of funny to think that in 2 weeks time…but no, its not the first time I’ve done this sort of thing.

After about 6 months on the net, and chatting to someone reasonably regularly on the net, she invited me across to meet her in Richmond. And after a few days thought, I said yes. Most people thought I was crazy, but I did it. And yes, it worked, we did get along, and the friendship actually lasted about 3 years before we drifted apart, so meeting people from the net can work, whatever people say. Its weird when you first meet, but after that, well hopefully all will be fine. Its funny, I’ve talked to James so often, in chat, roleplay and just on forum matters, that I feel fine about meeting him, and I guess it will be nice to have a voice to put to the wonderful words he writes. Kate I know far less well, but suspect it will be fun to do so.

If all goes well, one year from now I might be heading to Buffalo to meet…lets see how this goes first! Its been a while since I met anyone like this, so lets just take baby steps for now. And no, infantilism really isnt a fetish of mine, despite writing a story about it.  And no this isnt my main video posting blog, but this seemed sort of suitable?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCVgnma-s4c&ob=av3n

If things work out, I’m hoping in the next few days to do something unique, an identical posting on both blogs, hopefully the reason is obvious, if a sad one.