All wired up, and connected to a machine…safely…shame?

Well, I dont know if any of my readers have ever had a full medical screening, in relation to going on clinical trials, or for any other reason, but now, I have! Really enjoyable experience, I must say, I only hope that the test results come back fine, and that I get selected to go on the actual trial now. If not, I’m sure a certain wonderful lady will be trying to find me something I can go on, even if the stay isnt quite as long. But hopefully, this will be the one…

OK, fine, dont laugh. The hardest thing this morning, the fact that I could only drink water in the last 6 hours before the screening. Yes, I know, I could, and did survive without coffee for that period, but it was hard! Someone here was trying to tell me it would do me good, but I still dont believe her. That first post screening coffee (free, at the screening place) may not have been the greatest cup of coffee of all time, but I didnt care!

Anyway, before we got there…

I actually got there a few minutes before planned, as for the first time ever, public transport ran smoothly, and got me there before the time the route planner said! Anyway, the lady on reception rang through to my contact, Ruth, and we met in person for the first time, as opposed to chatting on social media. Yes, she’s a lovely person, and I’m not just saying that because she’s going to read this. The guided tour impressed me, the facilities available, a comfortable bed in the ward, and everyone I met seemed nice. I was taken in a room where some ‘experiments’ are done, mainly in the sense of eating food in an isolated setting, and seeing how much people would eat. There was some interesting looking machine in there, but I cant now remember what Ruth said they used it for. Sounded interesting, but doubt it will get used on me, all the same. Well, fine, they want me as a clinical guinea pig, but besides that, I felt welcomed regardless of that.

Then, screening proper. All the relevant form filling, and signing, just to prove I was doing all this of my own free will, and nothing else. Breath test collected, urine test delivered, and then down to serious business. Yes, I really, really got wired up, and connected to a machine. Fine, it was an ECG machine, and those electrodes were taking readings from my heart, not zapping me in any way. It probably was longer than it felt that I was connected up, but it did seem very brief to me. But…fine, I’d have at least loved an EEG reading of the brain, or the electrodes doing something more exciting than just reading what my heart was up to, but realistically…

OK, then the fun bit. Well, I’m not sure fun was the right word, more like frustrating, but anyway. Yes, blood test. The lovely lady tried to find a vein, suitable for drawing some blood, from my right arm. Seriously, nothing suitable! Thankfully after a bit of effort, we found a vein on my left arm willing to give up blood, and problem was solved. Only downside, I’m told I wont be able to do any research involving IV’s in the future, as you need at least 1 good vein in each arm for that, shame!

And then, starvation over! Yes, allowed to eat and drink again, provided with a free sandwich, and hot drink. After that, a quick physical checkover from the Doctor, of my lungs, heart, and stomach, and then that was it. Finished my food and drink, signed out, and headed for home. Now all I can do, as I say, is await the results of the tests, and hopefully hear the good news that I’m selected for the course.

Lets just say the journey home wasnt as smooth as getting there, and leave it at that!

So fine, part of my reasoning for doing this, is the one that probably gets many people doing them, the money! Yes, I’m not down to my last farthing or anything, but a major boost to the bank account will be useful, all the same. But do you know what? At the same time, I said all along that I wanted to do something different, and interesting, and this definitely fits that bill.

Yes, seriously, you can pay me the money, I need it, if only for Christmas gifts and things. But to be honest, doing something like this is going to be a new experience in my life (if selected), and I’m really looking forward to finding out what its like to be a clinical guinea pig. Of course, if someone decides to upgrade the experiments, then great. But no, thats not going to happen, but I think the ‘real thing’ will be exciting too.

Would I be doing this, if it wasnt for some wonderful, and witty lady doing their social media? Maybe, I’d seen the adverts on Facebook before I spoke to her, and considered doing it, but she just settled the issue. So hopefully, 2 weeks tomorrow, I’ll be fasting again for a while!

Video, well, I was wired, though not for sound!