To the Pacific, and back, via public transport

Oh fine, I know, a lot of catching up to be done, so lets get things nicely up to date here.

Sunday

The main event of note on Sunday was a trip along Sunset Boulevard, to a lovely bookshop serving the acting industry, for a series of short pieces written, and directed by women. No, before the men reading this start muttering about rabid feminists, a number of the actors reading were men! Though fine, one of the funniest was a spoof about make up just for lesbians, and if you werent one already, and you wore it, well, you might soon be one! Met up again with some delightful ladies I met just over 2 years ago, had a great time.

Monday

Due to some good news, I had to start changing plans on my days out, more on the news, probably in next blog. So I headed out to one of my favorite coastal places around here, Pacific Palisades. Its funny, I’d normally groan at the thought of nearly 90 minutes on a bus, without comfy seats, but for this route, especially the last part, I can make an exception. Had a nice stroll around, though I passed on walking down the canyon to the beach, because I knew I’d see the ocean again, plus you limit your bus options back, if you do that. But yes, I’m going to miss that place.

Tuesday

Known now as the day that if anything could go wrong, it would. A lovely man I know purchased me a nice seat for the Dodgers game that evening, snag was, I had to get the ticket printed off, and obviously my apartment doesnt have a printer, and I dont have a smart phone, so…I walked to a Fedex office in town, got on their internet, to grab the email, print off the ticket, and… Hotmail decided it was suspicious activity, and so wanted me to get a code sent to another email address. Fine, except that when I tried to get into that box, to get the code, it wouldnt let me in, and wanted to send a code to the other address it wouldnt let me into!
Fortunately, he’d sent a copy of it to my Facebook messenger page, assuming I could save it on my smart phone which I dont have, but I printed that off, and it got me into the game. Snag was, I didnt notice at the time, it didnt give all the details of my seat number! More on that later…

Finally, about an hour later than planned, I headed to Venice, the California one! You know, with the beach, and the muscles, and…a certain statue! Back in 1922, a shy(?) student named Myrna Williams posed for a statue that was to stand outside the high school. Oh, you might know her by her acting name, Myrna Loy! Unfortunately, with everything, I arrived in the school lunch hour, which made getting to her trickier that it might have been if the students had been in class. Anyway, having given my regards to her, I set off back to the bus stop, to get a bus to the beach, and waited…and waited…and waited. In the end, 2 buses more or less came along together!
After a stroll along the boardwalk, I set off to find the muscle, on the beach. Yes, it might be lively at weekends, but on a Tuesday afternoon, grand total of 3 guys doing their thing! Fine, it was something, but…I suspect a weekend visit is more, err, fruitful in that sense?

Given that I needed to get back at a reasonable hour to get to the Dodgers game, I set off to get home, which should have taken 90 minutes max! Actually took just over 2 hours. Not traffic mainly, just crazy passengers delaying things! Which meant I ended up leaving here late, hitting the crowds trying to get into the stadium, and then…

I normally sit up ‘in the Gods’ at baseball games. Yes, your view is limited, but the seats are cheap! And when you’re on a budget… Last night, I was down at field level, which is a long way down from the entry area at Dodgers stadium. No idea where I was going, took the wrong turn, got there eventually, though I missed the first half of the first innings, ah well…Yes, thats when I found out my ticket didnt actually give seat details. Anyway, at the second attempt, I found a seat no one else wanted, and watched most of the game.

Yes, one of those games that goes on forever, I left at the 11th innings mark, and headed for the buses back into town, to head home. Unfortunately, despite the bus being very full, the driver wasnt keen on leaving while the game was still going on. Eventually he did, before the Dodgers finally won, after 13 innings! Snag was, there were a lot of very drunk, very loud youngsters on the bus, screaming and shouting at regular intervals, but eventually we arrived at Union Station, and… There is meant to be a train at that time of night, every 20 minutes. 25 minutes after arriving on the platform, a train finally turned up! Given there were already people waiting, I would guess, at least 30 minutes, if not more, after the previous one.

I’ll save today, as this is far too long already! I need to thank Sarah for finding this apt video for me. Looks like Madonna was trying to portray a few golden age actresses, but warning, it is Madonna, and some of it might not be suitable for children, just saying…

Only in my imagination?

I suppose its fair to say that however minor an actress you might be, and I am pretty minor, especially nowadays, you always dream of getting that big break. Yes, the one linked to Hollywood is the movies, but in truth, given the way they make movies nowadays, with all that CGI and everything, it appeals to me less than TV, or Theater would, in truth. But yes, if you’re going to Hollywood, the dream that some studio is going to take you off the street, and make you a star, well, it was prevalent in the 20’s, and 30’s at least.

There is a well told story that Jean Harlow got her big break, albeit only in bit parts, was when she was dropping off a friend in her car, and got invited to an audition. The rest, as they say is history, though it was 2 or 3 years before the opportunity to be more than a bit actress came along.

Sadly for me, I have absolutely no idea how my past life self, Clara Johnson took that first step into acting. But given she arrived in LA in 1925, its quite possible she just joined the corp of bit part actors, working where she could, or its possible that she was spotted, invited in to said group, and just never went further than bit part acting, and chorus line dancing. I suspect back then that even that provided a decent, if not excessive lifestyle, hopefully at some point I can find out more, by one means or another.

Lets say I’ve tried twice before to be plucked off the streets of Hollywood, and offered work in small roles, and it hasnt happened. Fine, the fact I’m in my late fifties, and Harlow was 16, and Clara was 20, might play a part in that! But one thing I can try to do again, is at least be on TV, as part of an audience. Both trips previously, I’ve applied for tickets to go to the Jimmy Kimmel recordings, and not had any success. Anyway, nothing ventured, nothing gained, I’ve tried again today, for both him, and the James Corden recordings. Whether I have any more success, who knows, but I’ve tried. Yes, I’d love to be being interviewed about LGBT issues, and my hopefully revived acting career, but not going to happen, lets face it.

But yes, now I know, just once (and ideally more) I’d like to let my inner Clara come out, and appear on stage, or more, just somewhere in the US. Ah well…?

Right, video time. A little glorious bit of 80’s doo wop for you. Sadly for us, and for him, this group arent on the retro circuit, as the lead singer suffers from MS nowadays. Rocky, you are sadly missed from music.

Morality in a mind control world?

Its fair to say that generally in mind control stories, moral scruples are one of the last things that the controller seems to worry about. So yes, its fair to say that when you read a concept where the main rule is that you can only mind control willing victims, off an agreed list, or face the consequences, is quite something. But yes, I found one today, and rather good it is too!

http://192.155.80.152/List/index.html

Oh fine, I’d love to be on that willing submissive list, but I suspect they’re looking for younger, prettier women than me! Oh, and on top of that, its fiction of course, but anyway…its a great idea! Though fine, I might prefer to remember being controlled, than having it all erased as a fond memory, but hey, you cant have everything!

I would imagine the concept of morally needing to clean everything away afterwards might come as strange to some wannabee mind controllers, but hey, I like it! I suppose because both sides get the bit (or lot) of kink that they seek, but then at the end of it, everything is fine! Interesting to explain to potential mind controlled submissives though, but obviously it appeals to more than me. Hmm?

Talking about morality in your actions, reminds me a lot about acting, in that you get to play parts that really arent you! But yes, again, I always enjoyed doing that. Hey, I probably even played dominant type roles, and that definitely isnt me!

Right, video time. I have no idea why I havent used this before, even if the title in no way reflects Jean Harlow, you cant believe I wouldnt have used a song called Platinum Blonde by now! But in a sense, this fits here, as it talks about a young lady, acting in a role that really wasnt her, and though she started off enjoying it, despite what she done, she soon changed her mind. Me, yes, I’ve done some weird stuff in my time, but doesnt mean I wouldnt do it again, given the chance. Oh, and fine, I’m a Platinum Blonde too!

I suspect most of my readers will not have heard of Prelude, but you should have! They are probably most famous for the acapella version of the Neil Young song, After The Goldrush, but this is pretty good too, give it a chance without me needing to mind control you! 😛

Getting away from it.

The only consolation for me concerning the announcement over here today of a General Election being held in June, is that I’ll miss at least 10 days of the fuss, hype, and everything else surrounding it, as I will be out of the country. No, I’m not going to comment on my preferences, who I will be voting for, or any of the policies, given that I suspect my readers cover a wide political spectrum, and I really dont want to discuss the subject more than this cursory glance. I know, I could have ignored it completely, but its pretty hard to do, in truth, as a Brit.

As I say, thankfully 10 days of the campaigning will take place while I’m out in California, and given the nature of US TV, I doubt it will get too much attention over there, at least I hope not! Not that I plan to be watching too much TV while there, unless its me on a chat show, or something like that! But no, unless I get into the audience at Fallon’s, or Corden’s shows, and get seen, I wont hold my breath on that!

I will be doing my piece at the Talent Agency that I signed up with, on my last trip across, well, on their website at least. This time around I should get to meet the boss of the firm, and who knows where that might lead? Probably not far, but I can hope. In truth, a run in small theaters, in a small to medium role(s) would probably fulfil my dream. I know, star in the movies might be fun, but this isnt the Golden Age, its the reality age, and 59 year olds arent likely to break into the movies now! But…? Emailed the agency earlier today, to let them know I will (finally) be in town again, and see what develops from there. Probably just a meet and greet, but it could lead to more, who really knows?

I do plan for some down time too, but I’m pretty sure that this might be last chance saloon, so, nothing ventured, nothing gained, and at least I can then say I tried. I will also contact the lady who interviewed me last time I was over, and see if she still wants to do another interview as well. Never too much publicity, as they say lol!

But yes, I am getting away with 10 days less of the General Election build up than most, something for which I’m very grateful! And yes, that might be a hint to the video too!

I am your automatic lover!

No, seriously, I’m not, and you wouldnt want me as that either, not in my current human form at least. Yes, among other things, I’m 59, and if you want a fantasy sexbot, she’s going to look a lot younger than that! But fine, something happened today, that… well…I might get to find out what life as one is like! Oh fine, I wish!

Earlier this week, on Fembot Central, a request appeared from a TV company making a documentary about the current upgrades in sex dolls, and the challenge of creating a robot, that is almost human enough to be a partner for someone. In truth, I know most of the people there (to some degree, I dont blame them) treat anything like this with deep suspicion, and avoid talking to these people. Me, well, in my current human self, have no interest in sex, or emotions, but hey, anything fembot related, I’ll try to help.

So I have, and did. I spoke to the lady dealing with this research on the phone this morning, and in fact got a whole positive vibe to the whole thing. We spent about 40 minutes talking, and lets face it, I’m not seeking to ever have sex with a robot. Sex as a robot, now that might be fun, but with one, no, I think my days of sex, of my own volition are long gone!

Anyway, the chat continued, and it seems the company working on this development are based in San Diego. So I mentioned that I wouldnt mind seeing their place, and work, if possible when in California in May. So, said lady is going to check with the film unit working out of LA, and the company in San Diego, and I might be part of the action! No, I dont expect to be genuinely turned into a sexbot, but a woman can hope! Might get a makeover, just maybe, and then I could act the part, but…?

Oh fine, if they want to experiment on turning a human into a robot, I wont say no, mind! I suspect more likely the unit might let someone experience what life as a sexbot would be like (without the sex), that would be interesting in itself. To be fair to them, currently its in the very early stages of upgrading sex dolls, to sexbots.

So no, for now at least, I’m not going to say I’ve got that big US filming break just yet, but maybe, just maybe? And related to robots, pure heaven! I know, this is me, but…fingers crossed!

Right, video. This is a recent remix of a 70’s disco style song, and given I put up the original before, albeit about 6 years ago, lets roll with this. No, not sure which outfit I’d rather wear lol!

 

Just to add, if anyone reading this wants to help, or get involved themselves in anyway…

Raw TV are making a documentary looking at the evolving emotional and physical relationships between humans and robots. We are interested in speaking to people who have experienced genuine feelings towards robots, either emotional or sexual. Please get in touch with Carla on robots@raw.co.uk mid-April 2017. There’s no obligation to take part and all information will be kept confidential. Thank you. (Over 18s only)

Whatever happened to, that British actress?

So fine, as I move towards my 59th Birthday tomorrow, I’m feeling philosophical, so just bear with me. I will warn you now, what I will be like this time next year, when I hit the big 6-0, you probably dont want to think about!

So lets turn back time, and think about what might have happened, in an alternate universe. Right, so when I reached 16, I didnt have to leave school, and go out to work, because I had 2 parents living at home, and their ‘dear daughter’ could have stayed on at school, taken her A Levels, carried on acting at school, and then gone on to university (college to my US readers), and taken life from there. Or just maybe, instead of a university, I went to Drama School, on a serious basis.

The obvious outcome from there would have been a modest career, either doing small parts in a large venue, or decent parts in a small venue, until the ‘right person’ came along, and I settled down, got married, parts dried up, family came along, and all that, and it might still have been it. Boring office job, parenthood, or whatever.

Equally, given the reception to my early acting stuff was fair, it might have been better than that, large parts in large venues, a break in the movies, or whatever? If that was the case, would I now be living in LA on a more permanent basis than looking forward to a 10 day apartment break in said city? Now I’m not going to claim I would have been the ‘next’ Jean Harlow, or anything like that, but it might have happened. More likely I’d have been the next Clara Johnson, getting by on lots of ‘low in the credits’ acting roles, and doing other forms of acting, like photo shoots, playing characters at various ‘Conventions’ and the like? But yes, recognized as an actress, at least, which would have been fun.

Instead of which, I had to go out to work, to bring money into a home with a single mother, and though I tried to keep up the acting, it wasnt anything I could do seriously, while holding down another job, commuting to London, or whatever. Didnt stop me keeping up the battle of trying to be an actress (to some degree) until around the turn of the century, when the battle of acting roles, lost out to the job market, and I settled for a more ordinary life, on the whole.

But fine, doesnt stop me now, looking back and just wondering, if at 18, I’d headed off to drama school, where I might be now. Superstar? Bit part actress? Theater travelling actress? Or just someone looking back at her life, and wondering where her acting career got to? One thing is sure, unless we find a way to turn back time, and take that other choice, I will now never know! Still, 9 weeks today, I head to Hollywood, and in my dreams, someone might see me, see the potential actress again, and then…I know, almost certainly not!

The video is also showing my age, as its one of the punk classics. The Stranglers were renowned for not taking themselves too seriously, and this performance sort of proves it!

Dont look back with regret

(To those few who see both versions of the blog, this is pretty much the one I posted a few days ago on the other blog, but if you want to play spot the differences…?)

I’ll give you one piece of warning, if anyone can work out the video from that, I’m amazed, because its about the biggest double bluff I’ve ever thrown! So no, it definitely isnt an Oasis song, just saying.

Given that I’ve not asked permission, and its a Facebook friend I dont really know personally, I’m not going to say who it was, or provide any sort of link to it, but this morning they posted about considering going to Art School, instead of maybe what they see as a more sensible career. Me, I’d say go for it, if its your wish, regardless. Because the one thing you dont want to be doing in 40 years time, like I could be, is wondering where it might have led you, if you’d taken the braver step. Who knows, it might be for the better, it might be for the worse, but if its your ambition, then go for it!

As I said in the title, I might look back in regret at my not taking my acting talents further. It started in Primary school, continued through Grammar school as a serious thing, even if in truth, I might not have been the worlds greatest actor, but who knows? If I’d gone to Drama courses, at university or something, after school, I might be anywhere now. Hollywood? Well, maybe? I doubt it somehow, but I might be earning a steady salary in the theater, or movies, or…but no, I’m working in an office instead. Its a nice office, dont get me wrong, but if I’d set out to fulfil my dream?

The first few years after I left school (no university, family needs meant I had to get to work ASAP), I did my best to carry on, but once I started commuting further afield to London, it had to take a back seat. I did do some more once in Somerset/Dorset in the 90’s, which was fun, local, and nice to do again. And like riding a bike, I would say I hadnt lost the technique.

Since then, not a lot, and in more recent years, nothing at all, in truth. Why, mainly it is the lack of time, and the nature of my jobs, and everything else, its ground pretty much to a halt. I’d like to think that one day I will get the call, pick up again, and get back to it, though I doubt it now. One friend ‘foresees’ I will, but maybe I’m more practical than her, in accepting that no, my dream of being a star actress are pretty much gone.

Do I regret that? Yes, probably I do, but thats life for me, I guess, and I have to accept that. But do I wonder, if things had been different, and I’d done drama courses, and more, after I’d finished school, either at a drama school, or university, whether I might have made it? Yes, of course I do, even if the chances it would have happened might be slim, there would have been that chance, so…

Fine, I have no guarantees that I would have made it truly as an actress? Again, I’ll never know, but…

So yes, this comment is aimed more at the young, or younger people reading this. If you have a dream for yourself, go for it. If it doesnt work out, you can always get a ‘real job’ later, but give it a try. Just dont be, in 30 or 40 years time, be typing on whatever computer, or related device you’re using by then, your thoughts on wondering what might have been, just saying.

Right, video time. Its not the blog title, but you could say its what I’ve been doing in here. This version is a live version from last year, which truly has the singer reflecting on his life.

This one, 47 years earlier, from the year I changed to Grammar School, is the original version