I hate you, Mr Wagner

Or maybe it should be I hate you, Mr Masked Writer? Why, well, maybe this

https://mcstories.com/WhateverGetsYouThroughTheNight/WhateverGetsYouThroughTheNight13.html

And to save you reading it all, especially as it wont make a ton of sense without the other 12 chapters, the quote is…

Another showed him as a proud Viking warrior, complete with the horns that Vikings didn’t wear until Wagner glued them onto some helmets.

Why do I hate this piece of reality, you might ask? Well, because as a woman, one of the parts I always wanted to play, despite the fact that I cant sing all that well, is to dress up like the Valkyrie women, with those amazing bodypieces, and the helmets with the horns, like the Viking women supposedly did, and then I find out that it wasnt really true! I suppose I shouldnt be totally surprised its all false, as I doubt many, if any women went on those Viking missions in the first place, but a girl/woman could dream.

Mind, I suppose that by now its so written into folklore, and that so few people would know the truth, that if the opportunity should arise, there’s no reason I couldnt still do it, while trying to remind myself that it was only a Wagner ornament, and not the real look, ah well…

In truth, I know, I only want to do it because of the crazy look, but I at least thought it was a genuine crazy outfit, but now even that dream is broken. As I say, in truth, there probably wasnt even any female Viking warriors, let alone wearing anything as excessive as that, but all the same.

But yes, you’re right, if someone came up to me, asked me to put on the whole Valkyrie costume, and perform, though hopefully not sing, of course I would, and love it!

Not sure I’ve ever included opera in any video, on either blog before, but there is always a first, and here it is!

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Its only CGI make believe

Is there anything that isnt fake nowadays? And no, Donnie, I dont mean most of the news, either, before you get any thoughts that I might have a gram of support for you, because I dont.

I know these ‘promoted’ items on Twitter probably help to keep it free for those like myself, and to be fair, some of them are worthy, some of them I can even stand, but then you get the ones that are good for nothing but a good laugh. Some company called Vice UK yesterday posted a promotion involving someone called Natasha Demetrio walking through a forest, as they claimed.

Thing is, she wasnt! For an actress like myself (even though I’ve never worked in front of a green screen), it was easy to tell she wasnt actually walking through a forest. For starters, however clear a path you find in a forest, its unlikely to be perfectly flat. So there would be movement on the camera as it moved, and there was none.

Then, in terms of realism, it went downhill fast. Firstly, at about 11 seconds, the forest jumped back to where it was at the start of the film. Then at 18 seconds, the word ‘Rewind’ appeared in the top right corner of the screen, which wouldnt happen in a real forest, lets face it. But then briefly, at about 28 seconds in (fine, I was looking for errors by then), it happened. The forest vanished from sight, and all you could see was Ms Demetrio walking on a roller, in front of a blank green screen. Quickly after, it returned to the forest, so if you’d blinked, you might have missed it.

As someone else pointed out, the pixels were wrong too, but I’m not enough of a green screen expert (stage/studios only, darlings) to really spot that. The thing is, any sane person promoting this, would at this point put their hands up, and admit what they’d done, but oh no, they tried to say that it was real, and they couldnt see anything. Anyway at this point, because I’d point out what, and where to look for these things, others saw the same things, and commented in support of me. At this point, they strangely went very quiet!

I’ll be quite honest, I dont mind people using a Green Screen/CGI forest for an advert in the slightest. Its easy in terms of space, movement of equipment, and tons of other things, but when they claim its a real forest, when it clearly isnt, why do so? And why do you ever release an advert without checking for continuity? Without the ‘green screen’ moment, many might have believed it could be real, but that blows it wide open!

In the old days, it wouldnt have been difficult to switch from theatre, to film, or vice versa, because both methods had so much in common. Nowadays, in films, its not about acting to other people, or working with a location, its the ability to act in front of a green screen. Whereas theatre acting is still the real thing! I suppose its the way of the world, but I suspect I could still easily do real acting, as I’ve proved at various festival work, playing a part. But acting in front of a green screen, and nothing else, no idea! And those people, interacting with other people on stage, well…?

OK, video time. The song is the obvious one, numerous version to choose from, so I’ve chosen a Glen Campbell version

Shocking stuff, and no electricity involved!

As always, when the inspiration for a blog comes from another, I give credit to the inspirer, in this case Gillie, from Facebook. One of 3 in my life from Oklahoma, though as far as I know, at the time of writing, the only one actually there. I’m assuming Kate is in New England, and I assume Clara Johnson was buried in Los Angeles, but cant be positive on either. But the ‘vibe’ I’ve had when there suggests to me that Clara is resting at Forest Lawn, Glendale, but thats only a feeling. Could be Miss Harlow sending me signs, who knows?

He runs a Nostalgia board there, and yesterday one of the challenges was to name the actress. The second was a British actress, that no one seems to know, until I arrived there. I had my feeling, and when the clue was given, yes, I knew it was Jane Birkin.

The thing is, when I was young, the thing she was most ‘famous’ for wasnt acting, it was a certain naughty song. It was also the first ever British number 1 sang in a foreign language! Thing is, hardly anyone heard it, as the BBC immediately banned it from the Radio airwaves, Top of the Pops, and just about everywhere else, on release. Of course, that ironically was why it sold like hot cakes, and got to number 1. Yes, I will be letting you listen, of course. The thing is of course, 50 years on it might still rang as naughty, but if you imagine it, in the minds of the staid people around in 1969, it was shocking! Yes, it was somewhere in the mid 70’s before I heard it for the first time, and probably helped to set this poor, innocent young girl on her road to perversity. No, it wasnt, but if you want to think that, lol…

Hell, I’d been in numerous school acting productions, and one outside group by then, so my days of innocence (if not my virginity by then) were long gone! But no, I’ve never recorded an orgasm to my knowledge, lol. Birkin is still with us, in her 70’s, Gainsbourg passed in 1991, at the age of 62. of a heart attack. Age difference, heaven forbid!

Oh, and for those thinking I’m serious on that, I’m not. My only long term partner (female, oh gosh for some, lol) was 19 years older than me, and like this couple, we were together for 12 years. I assume she’s dead, but have no idea, having not had contact with her since 2002, having split 3 years earlier.

This is a real video find on You Tube, hope you’re not too shocked, lol!

Oh what a lady, what an act

To be fair, this was written as a tribute to me, so it was going to play on my love of acting, and of my love of robots, but to say this is an acting troupe I wouldnt mind being part of, would be a major understatement!

https://mcstories.com/PerformanceUpgrade/index.html

Its short (under 2000 words), so though I’m not going to say you have to go and read it, why not?

But yes, lets admit it, even if I was in a position to be able to leave this acting troupe, why would I want to do so? Yes, oh to sit in that chair, be turned into the perfect robot actress, oh heaven! Would never have the worry of forgetting my lines ever again too! And thats after that amazing transformation process too. And fine, if the Professor insisted on my showing my gratitude in that manner, why would I ever want to refuse? Oh fine, programmed robot and all that, but besides that…

Oh please, double dream in one! So, if anyone is looking for an actress, to turn into a robot, I’m most definitely free.

Sadly, that transformation didnt happen in December 1963 (I would only have been 5 at time), but December 2019, oh please, if not sooner.

She lives! She moves!

The irony of these seizures has been the fact that not all the effects have been negative. The first ones, back in March may have done nothing for the state of my brain, but it eased the pain in my back. Now whether this is because somewhere along the line it pushed something in my spine almost back into place, who knows? But yes, fine, I’d rather have a painful back, and a fully functioning brain, than this. The funny thing was, even though my back hurt less, it did nothing for my mobility, in fact making it far worse than it was. So whether something else somewhere wrecks the process that helps me to walk, no idea?

Anyway, as you may have gather, seizure session 2 on Saturday seems to have bashed my brain a bit more, but improved my mobility! Again, no idea why, unless it related to above?

4-5 weeks back, I had to send off a report for work on my health, and in my stupidity, I thought I’d try to walk to the post box, and back, given its only about 400 yards round journey, albeit, with a fair slope involved. Yes, I did make it there and back, but it nearly killed me, I was shattered on return.

This week, I had to send off one of those sick note certificate things, to cover the first few days after the event, and I did the same. Well, I wouldnt call it a stroll, but yes, it didnt stretch me all that much. I’m not saying I’d want to walk miles, but a short distance, especially on a flat surface (that definitely isnt flat), I probably could.

Next Thursday is Euro Election Day here, for better or worse. Not commenting on which I feel, or who I might be supporting, need to be neutral. Its a bit further to walk, there is a bit of a slope (though not as steep as from post box) involved to get to voting place, but as its the only way I can get to vote (havent arranged postal voting for future yet), if its reasonable, I might just give it a go, as Ella will be away at the time, and Eric hasnt yet given me mobility wheelchair driving lessons! Probably not, it probably would be pushing my limits, but before this week, didnt even think it was possible. but now…?

So yes, as the blog title says, She lives (just), she walks (not awful in short bouts), but sadly, unlike the video attached, I havent been ‘reactivated’ with large amounts of electricity! The amusing thing is, the hospital I was taken to, is one of the local ones that does ECT treatments! But no ‘Bride of Frankenstein’ treatment for me, all the same. Ah well…

No, I dont think I want something quite that drastic done to me, though I do wonder if ‘resetting’ my brain that way would be the worst thing possible at present. But Trans-cranial Magnetic Stimulation, I just wonder if that might put things right, or at least help? Any thoughts, any offers? Yes, the video is that scene, from that film, and yes, I’d love to recreate it, regardless of any stimulation of any kind actually being used! Who me, jealous? You bet!

Spinning around, and around

Right, before we get to the serious stuff, you’re right, there was no blog over the weekend, sorry, but I was, err, otherwise engaged! Yes, had some more seizures on Saturday afternoon, and after 7 hours or so, they finally stabilised me enough to park me off to a hospital ward for the rest of the night. Gather I was fed a few drugs to keep me alive, but none of the illegal ones, lol! Was released yesterday afternoon, but was feeling a bit weak, so yes, stuff happens.

Its funny, because two subjects that have come up recently on Forums are the Avatars as per Surrogate movie, and Robot Clones from a dear man who knows I would enjoy that far too much done to me. Yes, if anyone can arrange, or even a straight robotisation, please contact me urgently, as I’m not sure how much longer this organic body will last!

But having got that out of the way…

Despite the fact that nowadays we have several hundred TV channels (when I was young, we had 2!), Eric couldnt find anything that took his fancy this afternoon, not even a show about my relatives (aliens, running joke, still desperately seeking a good alien suit for revenge), so he headed to his film collection, and went to an old favourite of his, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

The thing that struck me was that for all the praise we throw on the Berkeley musicals of the ’30’s (yes, they were brilliant), people do tend to forget some later spectaculars. And now, looking at that movie through ‘Clara Johnson’s’ eyes, its easy to spot just how cleverly the musical numbers were done in this. I’m not saying Buzby wouldnt have said ‘hold my beer’, and topped them, but they were pretty impressive all the same. But yes, the most incredible thing is, 50 years on, Dick Van Dyke is still a decent mover, considering his age. Its also pretty much a ‘who’s who’ of British acting class of that era too.

I could have picked any number of song routines from the film to impress you with, but I’m going to pick one where the clever stuff isnt done by Van Dyke, but by Sally Ann Howes. Yes, fine, dancing as the girl on the music box would be a whole lot of fun!

So what do you want?

I must admit that I used to have the patience of an ‘angel’, and you’d have to really wind me up to get any reaction out of me. Mind, when you did, it was a bit like the Incredible Hulk, and you didnt want to see me when I was angry.

Funny thing is, now its sort of turned around 180 degrees. Now whether this is because I’m just losing patience with youngsters who think they know everything, and dont necessarily do so, or whether its just because I’m getting old, and therefore getting grumpy, or maybe the pills I now have to take for all my ailments, no idea, but my fuse is definitely a lot shorter than it used to be. But at the same time, I dont explode like I used to, either.

To be honest, maybe I had a long fuse when I was younger, because it was diplomatic to do so. If you worked in Amateur Dramatics (or to a lesser degree, school dramatics), you would come across the diva types (both genders), who thought the whole production revolved around them, and no one else really mattered. So those of us not so inclined tended to just roll our eyes, and let them get on with it, and leave it to the producer/ director to try and keep things civil.

I’m sure the PC crowd seem determined to drive me to frustration too, but that could just be related to everything else. Yes, politics is driving me to distraction too, but until I’m officially medically retired, I need to be careful what I say on that front, especially concerning this country, and Europe. I’m shallow enough to admit that if Trump were to offer me a lifetime visa, or Green Card, then I might be less inclined to be nasty about him, but unless that very unlikely event happens (especially since becoming disabled), no chance.

My suspicion is that all the extra pain I now suffer, and now adding in the fact that there are times when my brain really doesnt want to work properly any more doesnt help. But is that the only issue, probably not? Add in a few people who seem determined to annoy me over various little issues online, and yes, I snap easier! Oh, you could toss in that now I dont get out very much, so lack for obvious blog subjects, and well… 😉

OK, tonights video song is nearly as old as me. I dont know if it still is, but for a long time, this was the shortest pop song to ever top the UK charts, at well under 2 minutes! And what are snappy, feisty old women likely to say?