Retirement home, on the beach?

OK, fine, they think its all over, well it pretty much is now, lol. No, I’m not talking about the current government, though that might yet prove to be apt. But being strictly politically neutral on UK matters…well…? No, seriously, I mean my little break in the sun.

Of course, the sixty four million dollar question is, has the break in the sun done my back any good? Well, I’ve been taking less pills than usual, so I guess thats a good sign, but how long the effects will really last when I get back to the UK, who knows? I certainly havent missed not hearing all about the chaos at home over Brexit, and other stuff, for sure.

Yesterday, I headed to Vila Real De Santo Antonio as planned, and had a look around. In a sense, its more my sort of town than Faro would be, more peaceful, laid back, and dare I say it, old fashioned? Sadly I didnt get to Spain, as I reached the ferry terminal after town, and lunch, to see it pulling out for Ayamonte, across the river, in a different country, and given the next one wasnt for another hour in the off season, I didnt wait. That would have put me on the 2.30 ferry across, so earliest back at 4.00, and then needing to get back to Monte Gordo, all would have got a bit late for me. Maybe another time, maybe not, who knows?

Today, as I have done most days (gentle exercise, which is good) I took my stroll down along the front, and down part of the boardwalk, over the beach. I did some shopping, a little bit more than I’d planned, but nothing too dramatic. Oh, I got one of those coats, seems they had a zip up version as well for same price, so deal done! So I guess at some point soon I’ll need to go into work looking like a 30’s film star, lol. No, its silly really, I dont need a winter coat, but… Yes, I found the PIN for my credit card, but then found they only took cash, no cards, aargh!

I must admit, if, as I hope, I can retire somewhere with all year round warmth, then Monte Gordo has done a pretty good publicity job this week. I know its off season, but its quieter than the more popular end of the Algarve, its pleasantly warm, even in mid November (70 today), and cost of living is definitely lower than the UK too. But whether I will be in a position to make it happen, who knows? Will it even be possible once we’ve left the EU to move out here easily? Rolls eyes… Who me, a remain vote, well, you might think that, but I couldnt possibly say! 😛

Last amusing note, before I close for this holiday. There is a spa at the hotel I’m staying at. I did notice on their website that the spa does those body wrap things, and I’ve always fancied that. Go into my cocoon as the ugly caterpillar, come out the beautiful butterfly, yeah, I wish! So today, with budget sorted, I went to see how much it was. Yes, as I expected, way above what I had left, 80 Euros, for admittedly 80 minutes of pure pampering heaven. So, a fair price, but… To be honest, it was pretty much all above my budget, but I guess a 4 star hotel with spa (I’d say closer to 3, but anyway…), thats probably going to be the case. The thing was, they had a special offer for a hot stone massage, at 49 Euros. for 50 minutes of pampering, which I could just about scrape together. But anyway, being practical, I checked on Google, and it said not advised for people with Osteoporosis issues, so I ended up passing. Probably would have been fine, but better safe than sorry with boring old me!

It was funny tonight at dinner, I got asked why I was drinking Coke, when everybody else was drinking wine, so I explained about the painkillers, and all that. Again I wonder if thats just me being extra cautious, as I know people taking those pills, and drinking booze, and being fine, but…I am being boring, lol!

Tonights video is a song that might have passed most people by, especially as its now 33 years old! The late, great, Kirsty MacColl for your delight

 

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Wouldnt it be a fun role?

A sense of fairness means I’d have to proclaim this story, even if it wasnt so good, because I suggested the concept for this. Well, the flapper bit at least, the genius author did the rest!

https://mcstories.com/Flapper/index.html

This guy has already done a couple of pieces on the EMCSA which are pure scripts, and yes, he knows there are several parts I’d love in those. In fact, in Occulus, he was the one that suggested I read the part of the Inspector’s wife for myself, and yes, its a part I’d love to play, given the chance. There is the slight snag that she is supposed to be in her 40’s, and I’m 60, but apart from that, I’d sure give it a try!

But yes, fine, in Flapper, I’d die to play dear sweet Edna, and would think I’ve gone to heaven if I did. Of course the snag is, the age difference is even greater, and fine, I’d need the opposite treatment to her, to be hypnotised to speak with a Southern accent instead of my own! OK, y’all? And yes, I think the use of Johnson as her surname was pretty deliberate too. Not mine, but a name close to my heart, so…

But go on, read it, and have a little bit of fun. Just imagine a twenty something me, complete with entranced ‘natural Southern accent’ reading that part, and indeed performing that role. Yes, wouldnt that be good? And of course, in a hypnotised state, Edna is living without a care.

Well, if those two lines, plus the blog title havent given a clue to the song, I dont know what I have to do! One thing to fool you, no Nik Kershaw to be seen. I know little, or nothing about modern group, but I gave this Placebo live cover version a try, and I’m impressed, so…

Sitting on a railway station

Well, if I were to update you on what I did yesterday, you’d be bored stiff, because I did pretty much what an ‘old crock’ like myself should do, I had a relatively easy day. I went out for a gentle stroll (bit further than planned), had a bite of lunch, then headed back to the hotel again, via a stop for an Ice Cream. Fallen asleep yet? 😛

Today however, was far more amusing, which is the only reason you’re getting this tonight. My original plan had been to head into town (about 11.15), have a stroll, get a coffee, then head down and get the 12.30 bus to Vila Real De Santo Antonio, have a bite of lunch, then hop on the ferry, cross into Spain, just because its easily done (ferry takes 15-20 minutes to cross), have a look round, then come back again. No, as you gathered, I didnt do that!

Instead, as I got into town, just after 11.30, the seemingly slightly delayed 11.27 bus to Faro swung into sight, so I got on that instead! I will do the other trip later in the week, but for now… There may not be a bus every 10 minutes, but they do believe in comfortable bus seats over here, so nice! Fares are similar for distance as at home, for those interested, so it can be done, First Buses!

But the sweetest thing for me, was one of my fellow passengers, at least until Tavira, where she got off. To say this woman was the spitting image of an elderly Gloria Swanson (as in Sunset Boulevard era, or just later) was remarkable. Gloria (if I remember right) was tiny, under 5 foot tall, I believe, but in truth this woman wasnt much taller than that! Oh, and this woman was speaking fluent Portuguese, but other than that… She had the perfect diva attitude too (though I’ve heard nice things said about Swanson, so maybe she didnt?) as she showed when someone was trying to help her with her bags, after she got off the bus.

The rest of the drive to Faro was positively sedate, other than the song that got stuck in my head, this one

In truth, after just over 20 years, I didnt remember much of Faro, beyond the basic set out, but I suspect its changed in that time anyway. Bus station is still as ancient as it was then, mind, certainly no overhaul there!

At home, generally the bus fares are cheaper than the trains, and they take longer to get places, though because of the route the train takes, that doesnt work between Huddersfield and Bradford, because the train ambles round via Halifax. In the old days, the train was also more reliable, but that no longer happens! Here in Portugal, the bus fare was actually more expensive than the train (5.70 Euros, to 5.05 on train), takes longer to do the journey, even allowing for the long walk to the station (about a mile) from here. The snag is, Portuguese trains make Trans Pennine Express look reliable, and thats quite an achievement!

The train back to Monte Gordo from Faro was meant to leave at 3.00, and take 62 minutes for the journey. Even with a 20 minute walk, that should beat a 3.15 bus that takes 83 minutes for the journey! The thing is… The train pulled in from Lagos (yes, Nigeria isnt the only one to have a place of that name) at 3.03, about 4 minutes late, so we all get on. Then a minute later, we all get told to get off again. I have no idea what the announcement said, as it was only given in Portuguese, not a lot of use to most passengers who were tourists! Anyway, said train reversed back down the platform, and sat just outside the station. Just after 3.25, it plodded back into the station, we all got on (and stayed on) and a few minutes later, it set off for Vila Real De Santo Antonio!

I finally got back to Monte Gordo about 30 minutes after I should have, and still nearly made it into town before the bus passed me! Ah well…

Oh, and this leads to the second video of the day, the song I was singing to myself at the station, when I was wondering what the train was doing!

Not the young ones any more?

Right, firstly for those who know how to read both blogs, they’re going to be the same for the rest of the week, as the old lady is away on holiday, so pretty much all events will relate to that, and there’s no point writing pretty much the same stuff twice. Yes, in Portugal, on the Algarve for those who care, and want to flood me with money to spend…? Oh fine, teasing on last points, though after one item I saw today, I wouldnt say no to 32.50 Euros, if anyone is offering, more on that shortly.

In truth, getting here (Monte Gordo, for those who’d like to know, hotel details for a reasonable bribe! See above!) was pretty straightforward. Flight left on time, landed on time, and wheelchair soon arrived to take me through. I dont know the name of the gentleman, but not only did he get me through passport control, and handle my case for me, he literally wheeled me all the way to the minibus to take me to the hotel, which was far more than I was expecting. If anyone at Faro Airport can work out who this was, give him my thanks, and yes, I tipped accordingly! Minibus driver tried to match him by taking both my bags right up to hotel counter (I was last dropped off) for me, and yes, he got tipped too!

Dinner last night was fun. Nothing to do with the food, which was basic, but good, but the age of the people eating there. Yes, when at 60, you’re one of the youngest there, well… I think that its because a lot of senior citizen Europeans from chillier climes now come south for the whole of the winter (if they can afford it, not me!), and clearly this hotel is a prime destination for that! There were a number of younger people at breakfast this morning, so I think its just us that are less able, or less inclined to go out to eat who do this, me included now!

Anyway, after a gentle morning catching up on internet, and watching a bit of the remembrance service, I went out for a stroll around town. Its a typical, out of main season, seaside tourist resort, nothing exciting in truth. But it will more than do me. Nice boardwalk along the front, which I walked along, with several breaks to let my body recover, including one for coffee, and one for lunch, as well as a few just breaks for rest.

After that, I took a stroll more into the built up area of town (still not large), and looked in a few shops. I saw one lovely top that would definitely work as a 20’s look, and at about 14 Euros, will definitely be coming home with me, if I have the money at end of the week. I also saw the most gorgeous (fake) fur jacket type thing, which I loved, partly because it was gorgeous, and partly because it was so 30’s, though of course it would more likely have been real fur back then! Yes, shopkeeper saw me looking at it, so I asked price, see above, 32.50 Euros. No, I came on a tight budget, so probably not, but if I do have that much at end of week, its coming home for sure! Can just imagine Clara Johnson wearing something like that, though probably in real fur! Love, love, love!

Oh, lastly, the hotel. The front looks very modern, but the rooms (well, the one I’m in, anyway), have a much more old fashioned feel. Its not literally on the corridor, the rooms are set back a little, in pairs, and are huge by hotel standards. I literally have a double sized bedroom, a bathroom, and a large lounge area, where I’m typing this. It lacks coffee making facilities (I’ve been spoiled by UK/US hotels, I guess?), but other than that, its gorgeous!

Oh, the other weird thing? In the UK, and US nowadays, its prohibited to smoke pretty much anywhere indoors, in public buildings. Seems in Portugal, thats not the case. I finished my coffee this morning, turned to get up, and got ‘hit’ by the smell of cigarette smoke. Then I noticed the ash tray on every table, lol. Ah well…

Fine, video time. I’m guessing from the 50th Anniversary tour thing, that this must be from about 2008/09? Cliff, and the Shadows definitely still had it back then. Though no, I have no plans for any young ones of my own! 😛

Are they out there?

Around this time last year, something entered the solar system, and people began to take note. Oumuamua as it was called seemed to be a comet, or an asteroid or something that was passing us by, then heading back out into deep space unknown.

Anyway, recently, people have been questioning if it wasnt something more? Like an alien spacecraft of some kind, either an actual craft, or alien probe? Could be a probe, I guess, sent to recover data from this solar system from somewhere beyond our knowledge, maybe? An actual craft, I have my doubts, even though it accelerated, and decelerated, it would surely have come in for closer contact to Earth, if it was actually manned, to try and work out those strange beings on the planet?

All I know is, it wasnt someone delivering my flying saucer/space craft, which was a great shame!

Me, I suspect its nothing more than said flying comet, asteroid or another rock form we didnt know could exist, but fine, I personally would love it to be aliens, but if so, why didnt they come and get me! 😛

Will we ever know now, for sure, probably not, but it does make you think, or I hope it does.

Right, video time. I only wish I could find a live version of this brilliant song, but even though The Osmonds still perform it (of sorts), they segue it into another song, which means you miss out on much of this glorious work. So yes, for once, a stationary video, lol.

Just to add, there will not be the usual blog on Thursday, as I’m going out that evening. Sadly, no, not for a trip in a flying saucer with some passing aliens. So next blog will be at some point over the weekend, but not from the UK. A place beginning with P, in fact. Could be Pluto, could be Proxima Centauri, but far more likely to be Portugal! 😛

Inhibition Neutralizer, anyone?

Given I sort of originally planned that this would be the weirder blog of the two, I’ll save boring concepts like my forthcoming last (almost certainly) flight within the EU for the other blog, and do something far weirder here.

The concept of the 2 sides of a persons character are investigated throughout the decades, most famously in Dr Jekyll, and Mr Hyde, of course. Since then, all sorts of triggers have been used to change the ‘boring scientist’ into a far more interesting character, lets face it.

The most recent development of this, unsurprisingly from me, is in a story from the Archive, this one.

https://mcstories.com/DrJEcklesAndMrsWhore/DrJEcklesAndMrsWhore5.html

I have to add that the title amused me for an entirely different reason, as you will see when we get to the video. But what amused me this week, was how the transformation was done. If you read back, you’ll find out there was an explosion in the lab, and strange things happened, one of which you can probably guess from the story title.

Seemingly its a combination of two cool compounds, I-New, and Enhancin, which seem to have caught up with said scientist, and let loose a whole new woman! Oh fine, I wouldnt mind that kind of makeover, as it might give my love life a major spark, once transformed. I know, sadly its fictional, because it might be fun to be a twenty year old sex kitten, lol! 😛

So, if anyone has those compounds handy, and needs a guinea pig for an experiment? 😉

Right, video time. Hard to believe this song is 50 years old, but thats showing my age! Definitely live, and in truth, if you want to jump the first minute, you wont miss much!

The Eye has it!

Back in the old days, when acting, I have ‘fond’ memories of seeing a script for the first time, and wondering what you were letting yourself in for. I mean, most of them were based on well known plays, or books, so you had a good idea of what you were going to get. Equally, there would be a few occasions when you were given something new, or a writer wanted you to be involved in a read through of his piece, and though most were ‘normal’, its fair to say there were a couple of weird ones that I saw in my time.

Sadly, because I was only ever involved in small productions, no major film companies, or studios came rushing for my services. Nor did I ever get to appear on a major stage, though I might only be saying that for about 4 months more! Blackpool Winter Gardens might not be Broadway, but its far bigger than anything I’ve done previously in 60 years. No, it will be for 1 night only, I’m sure, but will be amazing if I do get to do it. Anyone that wants more details on performance weekend, feel free to ask, as my lodgings are now booked, I’m happy to let you know more.

I wouldnt say this is the first time I’ve seen a story that is pretty much just a script. Indeed, this author has done one previously, with ‘Sword & Rose’ but that script really didnt have a part suitable for me. But then he showed me this one, and suggested I could be ‘considered’ for the role of the Inspector’s wife, so… Fine, this is never going to reach stage, or screen, but I’d love the role if it did!

https://mcstories.com/EvilGazeOfDoctorOcculus/index.html

I know, she’s only in her 40’s, but other than that…

To say it achieves its aim, to come across as a Hammer Horror movie, it works, totally! And in truth, the other story mentioned would work equally brilliantly in its niche, that of the 70’s spy programs on TV. So yes, go read it, and inspire someone to bring this story to life, but just remember who’s playing the inspector’s wife!

The title of the blog? Well, if you read the story/script, you’ll find out why, just saying…

I did use this video before, but given it was almost 5 years ago, who cares? Slight difference in number of eyes, just saying…