Moving on?

No, unless I’m hopping the ocean, or its a truly amazing opening, I have no real plans to move on from where I currently live in Huddersfield. The snag with that plan at present, is the obvious one, a lack of money! At present, by my estimates of my figures, I have the rent left for about 5 more weeks, and thats it. After that, currently, I have no idea! At which point, I wont even be able to take up transatlantic offers of residence in the US, as I wont have the air fare to get there! I mean, someone could send me the money, but by myself, even that outlet will then be gone.

Yes, its getting to me, and I must admit the thought of saying blow it, and just ending it all is beginning to get tempting. No, I’m not quite at that point yet, but I’m getting fragile, shall we say? So if anyone wants to help out, or provide me with an outlet in the US (passport should arrive end of this week/beginning of next), I’d be very grateful.

But OK, all of that, but the moving option I’m contemplating at the moment is as unlikely financially, but a bit closer to here.

At the beginning of this week (using the look that this is the end of the week, whereas the passport comment uses today as the start of the week), I applied for a job at a building society head office in Bradford. Fine, I rashly assumed it would be the centre of town, but its not, its 3 miles out, and not easy to reach by public transport from here, especially for 8 am starts, and 8 pm finishes! But I only found all this out when I got sent the details for a phone interview, including those ‘lovely’ competency questions! So fine, I thought, I’ll do my usual piece, not go any further, and that problem at least will be gone.

Wrong! The next morning I got a call, telling me that I’d passed the phone test, and they were inviting me to an assessment centre next Saturday, at head office. Thankfully, starting late morning, so getting there might be ‘fun’, but not as impossible, as early starts/late finishes would be. So I’m giving it a go. Two reasons, first, I find out just how bad the journey really is. Secondly, they have an office opening in Huddersfield advertised at present, so if I impress, I’m hoping I can switch to that!

Yes, if I make it, and cant take the Huddersfield option, I could move to Bradford, in theory. In practice, the difference between living alone, and living quietly on my own, with other people in the house, at my age, a big one! The other snag is that if I did find somewhere over there, and go for it, I probably havent got the rent, and deposit I’d need for a place over there. Even more so when I mention this job wouldnt start until 7th of March, so no money in before the end of that month!

Yes, thats why beating my head against a brick wall seems a pleasant option at present! Or just screaming enough, and…no, I’ll try not to go down that road at present, however tempting it seems! So, if anyone out there wants to rescue a poor waif, please feel free to do so!

Fine, the video. Clue in the title, though given its not a popular Abba song, you may not get it

The Non All Star Game

For whatever reason, the concept of all star games have never caught on, over here in the UK. Possibly because building them into the relevant sports schedule isnt going to happen, mainly because of the vast demands of TV, and managers who would have hissy fits if their players got hurt in such games. The closest I can think of to it, is the intermittent cases of the odd Lancashire v Yorkshire rugby league games, but even they have pretty much died out since we entered the Super League era, because no one wants to play twice in a week, and Sky dont want a dead weekend with only 1 game being played.

But in the US, all 4 of the biggest sports have an all star game. The baseball one, pretty much everyone selected turns up, possibly because there isnt a great deal of physical contact in that game. Yes, they sometimes have a coming together off the bench, to discuss things, but generally, not much contact, even then, other than verbal. In a sense, its the most important one, as its the only one that decides where the final series will be played (who gets the extra home game), but even then, players dont seem to play it too hard, its for fun.

I’ll be honest, I have no idea if players turn up for the basketball one, or not, I really dont follow the sport all that much. But yes, this weekend, the other 2 sports have their big night, and its these which have caught my eye this week.

The NHL, it seems from what I’ve read, generally have pretty much all their non injured players turn up. But what caught my eye this week, was 2 players pulling out of the All Star series, through ‘injuries’. Now, they might genuinely have been injured in the last moments of their last club games, but seriously…? Even the clubs admitted it was more so their players were rested up for their club matches next week, but…surprise, surprise, the NHL fought back. Both players will miss their first club match after all star weekend, regardless of whether they were really injured or not. If they are, it doesnt matter. If they arent, then, quite rightly, the clubs are being punished.

But yes, the ‘are you serious?’ prize has to go to the NFL, and their Pro Bowl this Sunday. More than a third of the originally selected players, arent playing! Yes, a few are injured, and some are involved in the Super Bowl next weekend, but all the rest…?

For example, despite not going to the big match, no Patriot player is taking part in the game, despite 7 of them being selected. Numerous other players have conveniently got ‘injured’ since the end of the regular season too, quite something!

I’ll be honest, the people I feel most sorry for, are the fans who’ve bought tickets for the games, expecting to see the biggest names, and they wont! I do wonder if a few of these players, if they knew it would mean sitting out the first game of next season, would suddenly become available? Hmm?

To be fair, I see most of these sort of games as pretty meaningless, so maybe its time they were stopped? I’m sure they could find another way to decide who gets the extra home game in the Baseball world series, team that won the most games in regular season, maybe?

Anyway, rant over.

The video. What some might say when they hear that player X has pulled out of their respective all star game?

She ain’t heavy, she’s my robot.

OK, fine, the title is a gender play on the actual song in the video. And the last part is more about me being wishful, than expectant! I was surprised that not only had I not used this song, I hadnt used the group either, before, an omission on my part, for sure.

Alright, given my current circumstances, and the growing ponderous state of my finances, I admit to some amusement when I saw this meme posted on Facebook a few days ago.


And before anyone goes checking my Facebook account linked to this blog, you wont find it, its on my personal one! So this, and on Facebook, and Twitter, is your first chance to put yourselves forward lol. Hopefully I wont need to do this, but the day is getting closer when it might need to happen, and its handy to know who your friends are! I might just put it up on social media outlets, that its not already appeared on, just out of curiosity, to see what happens, but anyway. For those of you who come here, other than through social media, this might be your only chance!

What didnt surprise me (especially given the nature of Facebook) is that it attracted lots of likes, but for a while, nothing more. Then a couple of people said they would, and its snowballed a bit since then. Irony, most of them are in the US, so it seems I really need to get that passport here before the cash is too far gone. But anyway…No, I dont know how many would actually do it, if push came to shove, though I know of one at least, who definitely would. Him, he’d probably help to bail me the money, if I needed it, but he is someone truly special.

And before you ask, yes, I’m prepared to do as much as I can to help whoever would put me up, though obviously at my age, with my current strength limitations, there are limits to what I could actually do. Heavy lifting is out, for sure! Mind, if someone wants me to be, or act as a robot for them, then fine, I’d love that! But as a human, I’d do the best I could!

So, if there are any offers, I might appreciate them in a few weeks time, if things dont work out, just saying…

The video. Yes, as you might have gathered, its a black and white oldie, of a great British group. And as I say, there’s a clue in the blog title!

A Winter Wonderland?

Yes, I know a few people who were hit by the snow storm over the weekend, on the East Coast of the US. Thankfully, as far as I know at least, all are fine. As an added treat, Storm Jonas is now heading for the UK, but thankfully (I think?) by the time it gets here, having crossed the Atlantic and all, it wont be snow that hits us, it will be rain. Mind, given how flooded some areas have been in Yorkshire, I’m not sure that a possible 4 inch dump of rain is necessarily a good thing?

I have seen several feet of snow on the ground before. Thankfully, I was on a nice warm train, crossing the Rockies in the winter of 2003. And by the time I got off the train briefly, in North Dakota, it wasnt snowing, but was exceedingly cold! Minus 25F, dont ask me what that is in centigrade, but its cold. But of course, much of the snow had been swept off the platform, so all was fine.

Thats not to say I havent been out in a snow storm, because I have. November 2014, in Albany, I experienced a snow storm where 11 inches of the stuff was dumped on the city. Do you know what, the buses kept running, though admittedly, that was down a main road, I’m not sure if it was the same on lesser routes, but…they were used to it, nothing ground to a halt, unlike when we have more than an inch over here, probably less!

I’ve seen pictures of New York, I’ve also seen pictures of more rural areas, and the way the snow built up, is quite amazing. Yes, I know, public transit was stopped in places, roads were closed in a few too, but I do think that was wise on the whole.

Who, me, I prefer California weather, I think. Last night I was watching the golf, from Palm Springs, much more my kind of weather lol!

Given that one dear friend on Long Island, said he would do nasty things to anyone singing ‘Let It Snow’, I thought I’d better choose something else for the video tonight, so you can have this Doris Day track instead.

Was I brainwashed, and just never knew it?

Alright, the title is a little cynical, maybe, but given the way I feel at the moment, I’m beginning to wonder!

Yes, more delights in the battle with the passport office, if you were wondering.

Today, I got a letter from them, telling me that in fact I did have a driving licence, and have had one since 1983. Thing is, apart from a brief period of holding a provisional licence in the late 1970’s, I’ve never had one…that I know of! Believe me if I say that, considering the qualities of my driving skills, that I remember, I would never have passed a driving test, in my lifetime. A lot of it was co-ordination issues related to changing gears, and pushing pedals at the same time, which was needed with manual cars, in the UK back then. Irony is, if I was in the US, where nearly all cars are automatics, I might have been able to drive, but anyway…

Or was I really a good driver, and just made to forget it, by…”someone”? No, I dont really believe that, but anyway…I’m guessing that someone of the same name (I had an issue with this matter when applying for a mortgage in 1987) did get a driving licence that year, and because of a lack of addresses back then, they think its me! Stolen identity? Nowadays, maybe I would think that, but not in 1983! And besides, if it was some secret government department that brainwashed me back then, I dont think another government department would be telling me about it now!

Anyway, I rang the passport office back this morning, and let them know. They said they would get an examiner to ring me on the matter as quickly as possible, but nothing was heard all day. I will ring them back Monday afternoon if I havent heard anything. Of course, if they’ve checked, and found out I’m not meant to know about events back then…No, I dont believe that, honestly.

But yes, this is all getting very frustrating now, as I need a passport for ID when applying for jobs, and things. And because they are delaying things (its already 5 weeks, when should be dealt with in 4), its causing me problems at a time when money is running short, and I need to change that soon. I couldnt even request benefits at present, because yes, you’ve guessed it, you need ID, and they wont release it! As things stand, I have about 6 weeks before my money runs out completely, and yes, I’m panicking badly over this! So if anyone has any to spare, or some other country wants to trustingly issue me with a passport, I’d appreciate it. Yes, ideally, US, I’m looking at you, but just at the moment… I’m trying to avoid doing anything silly to myself, but the stress is just getting to me totally at the moment.


Right, the video. Was everything erased from my mind in 1983, or is it just someone else with the same name who requested a driving licence back then? I wonder?

Do you want me, baby?

Fine, much as I suspected, changing the advert on the dating agency to woman seeking woman, has proved a complete failure. I’ve not even had one message, let alone the chance of anything more! Funnily enough, one of the men I was talking to before is still in contact, but thats about it, and for whatever reason, he seemingly wants to do no more than chat, saying that I’m too far away, even if it is only about 20 miles!

Oh, and the guy from Houston who was so interested, not a whisper on when he’s actually coming to the UK, so I’ve written him off too! And until the passport actually arrives, I couldnt do much on that front either.

On that subject, funny story. On Monday, I got a letter from the passport office, asking me to prove I’d also changed my name on my driving licence, as no record of doing so had shown up. So I rang them, and told them the very good reason for that, I dont drive, therefore dont hold a driving licence, so I had no need to change it. She wasnt quite as shocked as people when I say I dont have a cell phone, but quite good, all the same. Anyway, I gather that was the last issue, so hopefully it will arrive soon. I hope so, as I have 1 registration to arrange when it does, and another that I will have to follow up with, after tomorrow, as another are doing an interim thing until it gets here, so they can put me forward for a job.

Right, thats not to say that the whole dating stuff has been a total waste of time, yet.

There is one wonderful gentleman from Long Island who is interested in me, actually a relative of Jean Harlow, roughly my age, so who knows, we might get together yet, and have a wonderful time. I’d love it if it happened, he seems wonderful, we both love the old movies, though our political views are a little way apart, lets leave it at that! Of course, if he wanted to change my mind on that, in a very special way, fine by me!

The other one, of significant interest, is also in the US. Yes, I know, very annoying, though I guess if it means in the end, I get into the country, then great, but planning things in the early stages…sheesh!

Not that he wants me as a partner, he wants me as a robot! Fine, its only going to be hypnotized to believe I am one, not the real thing, but anyway…about as good as is realistic, given modern technology. There are small issues at present, and no, not just the building of the robotization chamber, I wish!

Maybe I’m just being cynical, rather than wishful, but if you asked me honestly, I suspect I’ll end up staying a singleton, and not just because I’m a robot either! I guess I’d happily take either, but I must admit, genuinely being part of the Carpenter clan would be great. But equally, if I lived out the rest of my life, as a robot, no complaints whatsoever!

Oh, and being practical at present, if anyone reading this is feeling charitable to a beaten down, unemployed, middle aged lady, I wouldnt say no! More than happy to work for money, either as human, or a robot (ha ha), if that can be easily arranged. Just feeling the despair of seeing the bank balance dropping to less pleasant levels is doing nothing for my cheerfulness at present.

Lastly, the video,, what I seem to have said in an online sense of late, at least.

Dont Leave Me This Way

Mind, if you’re going to leave me in a hypnotic trance, I might just be lying there! 😉 No, seriously, I know all the rules of hypnosis, I’m only kidding, though it might be nice, all the same. Though I know of at least one person who plans to turn me into a permanent hypno bot, I should be so lucky! Would be nice, but with all the circumstances, I’ll settle for dreaming about it for now. More practically, there is one other very nice guy, with a lovely surname, but again, he’s in the US, so pardon me for hoping it might come to fruition, without getting over excited just yet.

Fine, Saturday. A brief trek across town by bus, to get to the hypnotherapist. I guess the weirdest think about that, is having to pay bus fares, even if you buy a day pass, I cant remember the last time I did that around here! I suspect 2009, in between jobs, as I would have let the pass expire, especially as I had a 1 week break in the US in that gap between jobs. But otherwise…

Yes, I went under easily, no big surprise there. And no, I dont remember anything sinister, or naughty happening, though some might say more’s the pity! Just a very pleasant relaxing, and stress busting session, which seems to have done me a lot of good, even if I still struggled through a phone session of competency based questions this afternoon, some things never change!

The more interesting event happened afterwards, to be honest, when we got onto the subject of my past experiences under hypnosis. Yes, I avoided mentioning one session, for good reason! But the subject of my past life regression came up, and we talked about Clara, and what I’d discovered at the time, or shortly after the event, and what I’ve been able to find out about her since.

So much so, that now she wants to study the past life regression side of hypnosis! I mean, she might have been tempted by it anyway, but I helped. Apparently, she tried it with a friend later, after I’d gone, and now she wants to do more. So maybe Clara wont be hiding her secrets much longer, with luck! Would be so handy if I could discover her married name, if nothing else!

But no, she didnt leave me in a hypnotised way, it was all done very professionally, and if anyone from this area wants a hypnotherapist recommended, ask, and I’ll pass on her details.

The video, very big clue in the title, I guess!

Make It Easy On Yourself

Well, tomorrow, for 45 minutes or so, I can let all my concerns, and worries about the job hunting, money, and every other issue just fade away. Snag is, at the end of that period, they are still going to have to be solved. Yes, I’m going for a session of hypnosis tomorrow. Thankfully its not too far to go, just to the outskirts of Huddersfield, and its not too expensive, as it was a reduced special offer price.

This should have happened on the day that I started training at the ‘job from hell’, the point at which seemingly things have tended to go downhill pretty fast! Yes, if I could turn back time, I would say no, have done this, done the clinical trial, and fine, hindsight is a wonderful thing!

But anyway, just before Christmas, I contacted the person again, to see if the offer was still open to rearrange my relaxation, and stress busting hypnotherapy session, and thankfully, it is. Irony now, is that I will have to pay a bus fare to get there, as the pass ran out at the end of the year, but anyway…I need something! Hopefully it will do me some good at least, because I guess I’m getting close to breaking point, in all honesty.

Oh fine, yes, if I could get her to ‘reboot’ my mind totally, that might not be a bad thing, but this is a start, at least. And fine, I will enjoy being ‘under their control’ for a little while at least. I know, strictly I’m not, but we mind control fetishists can dream of such things happening at least!

But hopefully, whatever happens, it does me some good stress wise, because I need something to do so.

The video, an absolute oldie here, from the mid 1960’s! Yes, the clue is in the title, but that may not be a lot of help!

Waiting For A Girl Like You

Fine, I admit when I signed up to a dating agency, I thought I’d be boring, and straight, and advertise it as a woman seeking a man. And yes, it was an interesting experience, but as someone said to me, after I did it, after all this time, I’d be better off looking for another woman instead. And yes, maybe they were right? I still claim to be bi, but I suppose after all this time, the practical, and sensible choice would be another woman, right?

So fine, yesterday, I got around to changing the ad, so it reads woman seeking a woman. Funnily enough, the rush into the inbox is nowhere near as dramatic! In fact, the only message I’ve had since doing so, is from a man I was talking to beforehand, to apologise for having not been around! So I might have killed off my dating chances, but we will see? Thats not to say that if the right man came along, I couldnt swing back, because I could, but for now, its goodbye to that kind of love, as far as the advert goes at least!

Yes, in my dreams, a rich (or even well off) man, or woman, from Los Angeles will come and sweep me off my feet, turn me into their blushing bride, and we live happily ever after. But yes, this is real life, not a fairy tale, so not likely to happen, I’m pretty sure!

Anyway, hopefully, sometime soon, my Princess will come for me. No, I wont be holding my breath on that, but anyway…But yes, if any of you out there happen to know a Prince, or Princess looking for a fifty something bride, give them, me, or both of us, a shout. No, I wont be expecting that call, dont worry.

But at least now, I’m probably being truer to myself in that search, and thats for the best.

The video, what I’m hopefully doing, though I suspect it might be a fruitless wait, all the same

A little bit of discipline needed…Who, me?

Well, fine, I might enjoy a little bit of disciplining way too much, but thats not the true issue here, unless someone is offering? And then… 😉 more of that later, maybe?

No, what I’m talking about here, is highly paid professional sportsmen, who cant keep their behaviour under control when they need to. For those in cricket following countries (not many here, from past experience), I just have to mention the awful behavior of Chris Gayle, a highly paid, professional cricketer from the West Indies, while being interviewed by a pretty woman after an innings in the Big Bash League (The Australian 20 over cricket tournament), and proceeding to not answer her questions, but to chat her up, and ask for a date instead. Supposedly, he has since been fined heavily, and its been made clear that he wont be welcomed back next year, but fame talks, so I wouldnt bank on the latter happening somehow. Sadly, too many Aussie men were busily defending him, and saying the woman should be ready for this sort of thing. Yes, that wonderfully misogynistic behavior we can come to love…not!

But the lack of discipline I’m talking about now, comes from the US, and it didnt just hurt the players, it hit their team too, though I wonder nowadays how many sportsmen are only concerned with themselves, and not their team? Judging by some soccer players over here, they are the more important, but anyway…

On Saturday night, in the NFL play offs, Cincinnati were beating Pittsburgh, and when the Pittsburgh QB threw an interception, that should have been it, they should have won. As history shows, they didnt. To be fair (of sorts), the running back who fumbled the ball, handing possession back to Pittsburgh was at fault, but even so, it neednt prove critical. But just as the last Pittsburgh opportunity was failing, a catch was missed, but a defensive player decided to take him out with his helmet all the same. 15 yard penalty, just about putting them in field goal range, but still very missable. Then while the Pittsburgh sideline were trying to check on their knocked out player, another Cincinnati defender couldnt stay out of the way, and threw abuse, a punch, or both. This led to another 15 yard penalty, and now the kick is an easy one. Pittsburgh make it, and win the game.

If those 2 (or 3) players had kept their heads, Cincinnati would have won the game! Seriously, these players are paid millions of dollars a year, and they cant act intelligently. Really? I know, its a very macho game, but even so…

For that much money, in a situation like that, you play by the rules!

Oh, fine, lastly, I havent misbehaved, but if a Master, or Mistress wants to discipline me a little…? 😉 Full time submissive somewhere, wouldnt say no!

The video, a song related to discipline, of another kind. No, not Britney, but a Latvian Britney lookalike, having fun!