Dream a little dream, of a Hollywood home

Firstly, let me thank Elaine, for being the only person to give me a suggestion for this blog, very much appreciated. Well, someone did say they’d go with the flow, but…

I would love to read more about your dream to live in Hollywood

Being honest, unless I win a very large amount in the lottery, or I find the right man, or woman, this is likely, sadly, to only ever remain a dream. Well, I suppose Bernie Sanders could become President, change the Immigration rules dramatically, but…No, the latter at least isnt likely to happen. I still need to be convinced the US people would make Bernie President, but I’d love it to happen. But fine, this isnt about politics tonight, its about a home in Hollywood.

Yes, I would love to live in Hollywood, but why? In a sense, LA is the sort of place that shouldnt appeal to me, especially Hollywood, as that is even more glitzy, but there is something I love about the place. Fine, that adorable little apartment I spent most of October in, probably plays a part, but even before then, I’d fallen in love with the town.

I’m pretty sure that being a lover of Silent, and Golden Era movies helps with my love of the place, and with good reason. But yes, that definitely makes me feel at home there, knowing the history of the place, even if it is far more modern now. And all those tours, they go to the homes of the modern stars, not the ones I love, but anyway…

The irony is, I think my lifestyle, if I lived there, would be more Clara Johnson, than Jean Harlow! Yes, it might be fun living in style like that, but in truth, I’d be far more comfortable living my quiet life around town, working as a bit part actress (like Clara), or just in an office, or a shop, I’d fit in more with the girl who worked hard, without ever really being noticed, by those who matter.

Thats right, no big mansion for me. A nice little apartment, with one decent bedroom, and I’d be in heaven. If it was somewhere like Beachwood Canyon, where I could see the famous Hollywood sign, even better. That studio apartment on Verbena was cute, but a studio apartment, as your main home, maybe a little small, even for me! Though fine, my own little place, anywhere in town, wonderful.

Yes, working in, or around the movies would be fun. I’ve written plenty of short stories, but thats it. I havent acted in years either, so all in all…But yes, any little job, working in and around, the bustle of Hollywood, I’d love it. No, I’m pretty sure there are no openings for middle aged Jean Harlow lookalikes! Could do Mae West, I guess? 😉

So yes, unless I find a partner, or money, I fear this will never be anything more than a dream. But I’d love the opportunity to prove myself wrong. But as things stand, I’m not likely to get work over there, so I’ll just have to live the dream, and no more?

The video, all about dreaming, from a California lady who died far too young. No, not Jean, before you ask!

Finally, let me close by wishing all my readers a Happy New Year for 2016, and hope its a good time for you. Me, I’ll be trying to make it that way, I hope!

2015 in review

The annual review of the blog, for those of you interested in such data

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2015 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people. This blog was viewed about 6,200 times in 2015. If it were a NYC subway train, it would take about 5 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

I wonder, its frightening. A glimpse towards 2016

Yes, I know, its a couple of days early, but there’s a good reason for that, more on that at the end of the blog. Facebook, and Twitter followers know already, but for those who dont…! Normally this is a cheery event, but circumstances mean its less so this time around.

As I mentioned in the last blog, if you’d told me at the end of March, that I’d still be out of work heading into 2016, I would have laughed at you. Fine, I’m not laughing now! I’m not yet at breaking point financially, but its beginning to get that way, about 10 weeks, I guess, looking at figures, unless I find money from somewhere! Fingers crossed that Miss Carpenter has a lot more joy in finding a job, than Ms Nicholls has! Yes, I’ve now done a few applications in my new name, though until the passport actually arrives, ID issues might be fun for interviews, or registrations! Hopefully, early next week, that will cease to be an issue at least.

Most other events in 2016, in all honesty, depend on either getting a job, a benefactor, a partner (or Master/ Mistress), or a lottery win. Fine, apart from the first, I guess chances are slim? There is one possible Master at present, as a hypno-bot, but thats about it. If it comes to fruition, I’d love it, but given my past record in dreams coming true, I’m not holding my breath! Yes, I’d love it to be as a real robot, but we have to be practical lol.

If not, I might chance one of these dating websites, if I can find one for free, and see if I can find a wealthy, short sighted person who wants to fall in love with me. But no, I’m not a prize capture, lets face it. If I was a 25 year old clone of Jean Harlow, then maybe, but I’m only a 57 year old lookalike! Ah well…

If the money situation clears itself, then the planned holiday in May, is New England, with my friend, Kate. But yes, that requires a money input, pretty soon! Later in the year, no idea, the dream would be a long stay in Hollywood, but that might require planning, especially if I’m working. If I’m not working, well, I have no idea where I’ll be, anyway. Well, unless I have a benefactor, or a lottery win anyway lol. Yes, stop laughing!

OK, the last thing, and the one I find most fanciful, comes from a Psychic friend on Facebook. She tells me, I’m going to get a call, and end up living, and working out there, in Hollywood. Would be heaven, and I’d love her to be right, but in all practicality…this is me, we are talking about. There is also one wonderful man who would love me to go to Long Island in March, and make a personal appearance, as Jean Harlow, before a showing of Red Headed Woman. There are age issues, strictly, there are height issues (I’m 7″ taller, and 30 years older than Jean), but agreed, it would be wonderful, and I’m sure a good make up artist could at least create the illusion of a middle aged Harlow at least, or maybe I could be her Mother, that could work? But yes, that would take money, so probably not!

Mind, if anyone with too much money wants me to start a campaign for that? Thought not!

But yes, I wonder what will happen in 2016? Maybe I finally get to become a robot, even if only a hypno-bot, but it would be a wonderful start. That thought is far from frightening, but the money issue is beginning to be one. So yes, that leads to the video.

Yes, fine, as I mentioned, I’m doing this early for a purpose. The last blog of the year, feel free to suggest a subject you’d like to hear me waffle on. Only condition, its something I can easily type about 600 words on, and thats it, the rest is up to you. Comment here, send it by Twitter at @harleanlook, or on my Facebook page at Harlean Carpenter, or as more likely from past experience, do nothing at all. Be a devil, and just come back in 2 days time, and see what I selected.

An English Woman in LA – A brief look back at 2015

Alright, that title is a slight cheat, as I only spent just over 10% of the year in LA (38 days out of 365), but hey, its the second longest period I spent anywhere, so…

Fine, the year started off badly, when in mid January, I was told that I was being made redundant (again, 3rd time) by the company I’d worked for, for 6 years, so this time I decided to take the hint, and take the money and run. No, thats not the video, or the one you might be expecting from the blog title. See, been told lol! I actually left there at the end of March, and if you’d told me that 9 months later I would still be out of work, well…ah well, too late now!

The main thing that allowed me to do, was extend my stay in Hollywood, in April. To be honest, I wondered how I would take to life in ‘Tinsel Town’, but took to it like a duck to water. Fine, 10 days wasnt enough (would have been 7), and I pledged to return. Fine, I wasnt expecting it to be 6 months later, but more on that shortly.

I came back, and started job hunting, with no success. It might be age, but more likely, its the current recruitment infatuation with competency based questions that didnt help. Thankfully, I had the money to help me cope with this. Anyway, by August, I’d reached breaking point with this matter, and was about to snap. So despite having a week in Cape Cod with a US friend booked for mid September, I took a dramatic step! I booked a 4 week stay, in a rented apartment in Hollywood, up in the Hills, best thing I’ve ever done. Oh, and that is so much more fun than a hotel room, even if the place isnt (strictly) your own. Oh, and btw, 38 days in LA still isnt enough, but anyway…enough on that, plans are already in hand, should the chance arise!

The one thing that wonderful trip stopped me doing sooner, was changing my name, as I’d had planned for a couple of months by then. But straight after I got back, the deed was done, and my name is now officially Harlean, even though to some, I will always be Steph, or Stephanie, I guess. Main reason I kept Stephanie as my middle name, rather than Jean lol!

Now, finally (due to needing the passport as ID for job applications) the old passport has gone back, and the last trace of Stevie Nicholls will be no more. Yes, I’m really looking forward to going to the US, as Harlean, when money, and time permit.

So fine, what have I been for a lot of this year? A California girl, just maybe? Yes, its the Katy Perry song, but its not Katy! Its a rather excellent parody by Sarah Gregory, and Mark Douglas, whoever they may be? It is rather good, mind.

They said there would be peace on Earth.

Yes, a line from one of my favourite Christmas pop songs of all time.

Its funny, Greg Lake wrote that line in a cynical manner, back in the 1970’s, and sadly, not a lot has changed. Well, I guess the Cold War is past us, but you have to worry about cranks like ISIS instead. And things dont seem to get any better, with stories of Muslim families from the UK having their entry arrangements into the US cancelled at the last moment too. I know, there is a faint chance they could be terrorists, but seriously…Sadly, Donald Trump’s awful rhetoric seems to have got into the heads of some in the US, and it has come to this. Such a shame.

The other thing I found sad today probably affects more people. I went to the local mini supermarket early this afternoon, thinking I had to get the 1 item I needed early, as I thought they would be closing early on Christmas Eve. Wrong, its open to 10.00 tonight, a sad turn of events to me, and my sympathies go out to the staff, not that they’re likely to read this. Is it really only 30 years ago that by about 5.00 on Christmas Eve, everything but the pubs would be shut? Ah well, though I dont see this change as a good one.

Alright, comments on modern life over. Let me just wish all my followers on here, a very Merry Christmas, and I hope you get everything you wish for.

No, I dont expect to get a brainwashing, or mind control helmet, or even better, a robot suit that actually transforms me, or at least a chamber that will do so. A full, and permanent, Jean Harlow makeover, nope, either. What I will get, who knows?

OK, to close, the video. I gave a big clue to the song above, so lets roll with it.

Maybe we should wipe the ‘disc’ clean, and start again?

And no, as you might have worked out, I’m not really talking about any computer disc here, I’m talking about my mind. Lets face it, its a stressed out mess at present, so wiping clean, and starting again might not be as awful as it might sound. But lets face it, hypnotherapists arent going to be happy about brainwashing you, and rebooting your neural systems, in all likelihood. Shame, but anyway…

So fine, next best thing. I was booked for a relaxation, and de-stress session on the Saturday morning, that I started training for that ‘job from hell’, so had to cancel it. Thankfully now, I’ve been able to rearrange it, at the same discounted price for 3 weeks on Saturday. I hope thats soon enough, given the way I’m getting about job interviews, and the like, but I’m sure it will be.

Anyway, being curious about such matters, I had a look for hypnotic brainwashing videos on You Tube. Yes, found some, though I’m pretty sure they’re designed for more kinky issues than frustration with your interview skills! And given I regarded myself as pretty impervious to these things in the past, never having really gone deep, other than one to one, I thought I’d give it a try. And yes, seemingly, I went under quite easily. As I say, this is aimed at ‘slavery’, but given that corset has had me feeling submissive of late, I went for it. This one

Unless you play it, you wont know the details, but lets just say I definitely felt the planned effects. Thankfully you get your mind back at the end, but anyway… Feeling, I loved the feeling of mindlessness, and yes, I definitely felt a lot calmer afterwards, as an end result.

Then in those suggested videos on the side, I found this. No idea why it appealed so greatly lol.

And yes, it worked, though not as much as the first one, maybe her voice wasnt as strong, or something, who knows? But yes, at the end, all the same, I definitely came out feeling like a mindless robot, and loved it. Thankfully there was no one to give me commands (other than cats demanding food, and yes, I fed them), or who knows what might have happened? Robot thing only wears off after about 30 minutes, and I knew when that time was up!

But yes, all this being made mindless stuff, seems to have done me some good. Now, if I could get it done longer term, or permanently… 😉

The video. Yes, a Christmas one at long last. This is a new one, a cover of an old classic.

If I could turn back time

I suppose one of the more interesting (in a sense) events that have come out of the internet era, are some of the crazy theories doing the rounds.

And no, I dont mean things like whether we actually went to the moon, or not (we did), I mean things dating far further back than that. There are several videos on You Tube (find them for yourself, if you care), which supposedly show modern gadgets being used in the late 1920’s, and claiming this as proof of time travel. Fine, it has to be said that I’ve seen pictures of Clara Bow, and Louise Brooks with something in their hand that really does look like a modern mobile phone, but I assume is just a compact, or makeup mirror? I mean, the biggest issue, even if they were time travelling back then, is how they got these devices to work in 1929? I mean, yes, there were dozens of cell phone transmitters back then, not!

All the same, I admit it, yesterday I wrote a story that played very much to that theory, telling the tale of how they ‘supposedly’ got their pieces of modern technology. Yes, folks, pure fiction! I know, I know, the pictures suggest maybe, but seriously…?

Mind, having said that, if Twitter is anything to go by, a good number of silent era, and 30’s movies stars are time travelling, and using Twitter as social media. I know, I have a Harlean Carpenter (Jean Harlow) account on Facebook, but I use it as much to have Jean as a time hopping character, as much as for just focusing on her short life. Oh, and given what I write, it enables me to hide, to some degree, some of my personal kinks. Mind, given Jean’s attitude to sex, she might have enjoyed them, if she was alive now…no, not getting into that!

Gable, Lombard, and a few others are seemingly all active on Twitter, but if you asked me my favorite of those types of account, its an actress whose peak was from well before the Harlow era, Lillian Gish. Yes, I know, she lived to 100, did she have some special trick, or…? But seriously, if you’re on Twitter, and you know anything about silent movies, go follow @MsLillianGish there. She is just wonderful! Though Marion Davies (as far as I know, not on Twitter) gets some flak from her, I think its just good banter between the 2, somewhere in the mists of time.

Fine, the video. Really big clue in the blog title!

Anyone fancy a robot wife?

Oh fine, maybe its because I’ve just gained a new identity, or maybe its because its the end of the year, and I’m still very single, that my thoughts turn to romance, love, or from personal preference, becoming a robot wife. Yes, gives a clue to the video, doesnt it?

I know, its not for the first time, and I’m hopelessly independent after having been single for 15 years, but maybe its time (again) to consider whether I should find a partner, or more aptly for me, a dominant person, who fancies a robot wife. In play sense only, I guess, unless they are a brilliant hypnotist, or a mad scientist, but anyway…

Yes, its that gorgeous corset I mentioned recently, got me feeling all submissive again, must be that collar attachment lol! And I guess a Master, or Mistress would to some degree at least take away all those needed love issues that I would have with a normal relationship. Yes, fine, a normal relationship, especially a date, might be fun, but given my issues re sex (I live without penetrative sex, and have done so for 15 years), I wouldnt be ideal for most folk. Yes, strictly, a lesbian one doesnt require that nasty stuff, well, unless she’s into strap ons at least, so might be better, whereas a man would probably have to settle for blow jobs, and the like. Not the best, I guess? At least they’d probably enjoy tying me tightly into corsets, and the like!

But fine, in my heart, doing the whole submissive thing, especially if I could find someone that fancied the robot kink, would appeal far more. If nothing else, it removes all requirement for me to love someone, but just be happy to serve, and obey them, which should be fine!

But where would I start for something like that, not a clue! And not sure I have much faith in dating agencies, and certainly would have no idea at all on the submissive side of things. So yes, fine, in a years time, you’ll probably get a similar post, without the name change thing!

Yes, I would love to just be wined, and dined, just so someone can convince me that I would make a good wife, partner, or submissive, for the first time in a long time. Probably as likely as a serious relationship, but anyway…

Fine, the video. Yes, that robot wife thing lol. Would be perfect for me, especially if I really was. Or at least an obedient, brainwashed slave, as second prize!

I cant remember my old name!

OK, maybe thats a slight exaggeration, as today was the day I could finally abandon the pretense of being Stevie Nicholls, at long last. Yes, the final job interview in that name is done, the CV, job email sites, and NI number are all now, or will soon be, in my new name at long last. The passport will now go off tomorrow, as I couldnt face going out again this afternoon, to send it off. I have to go out, and get a couple of small presents tomorrow, so I will do it all then.

Yes, for the first time in just over a month, I only have to concern myself with one name, that being Harlean Carpenter. Hey, I’m even going to start letting people call me Harlean now, if they want to, as I’m not trying to keep the 2 names roughly aligned any more. Now, if anyone can do a mind meld for me, so that the 2 Harlean Carpenter’s can be molded into one, yes, I’d love it. Not going to happen though, is it, sadly.

But if anyone fancies erasing all my memories of my old identity, using this, or any other delicious method, feel free to do so. In fact, please do! Would be the best present I could get!

Mind, I say its just over a month, but in truth, its about 3, in all. Pretty much since I came back from New England, I settled into my new identity, other than when I had to use passport ID! Best night was the night, a friend of mine, introduced me as, and called me Harlean all evening, that was heaven! Thanks so much, Eden!
Yes, I’m really looking forward to that first flight, as Harlean, just so much!

Right, the video. Its where the play on the title of the blog comes from. Yes, I can say it, my name is Harlean Carpenter. And all I wanted was a flight, to Hollywood!

So how would you describe a colour to a blind person?

Today I had a job interview, nothing original in that statement at least. I had thought it would be the last job interview as Ms Nicholls, and in a sense, I wish it was, because it was actually fun. Sadly, now, it wont be, as I have one more tomorrow now, which will be very standard and boring (one of our bigger insurance companies), before sending off the passport, and when it returns, I will be Miss Carpenter in every sense of the word.

I know, a job interview that was actually fun, scary stuff? Well, to be honest, until the last step (the second interview), it was going in a fairly traditional form, of filling out forms, doing a couple of tests, and being interviewed about my job history, and what I could bring to the company.

Then events got fun. I went off for the second part of the interview, assuming this was when the competency based questions, which I so despise, would be asked. Wrong! This was questions from left field, and hey, it was fun! I had heard of these things, but until today, had never had one.

First question was my dream job. Well, I avoided being voluntarily turned into a robot, a mad scientist’s guinea pig (of any kind), and even the slightly more normal, astronaut. Yes, 1930’s movies actress, no idea who inspired that answer.

Fine, so next? Describe the colour yellow, to a blind person! Well, I rambled on about the warmth of the sun, and imagining its colour, and did the same with daffodils, but I got through. To be told I coped with this strange question far better than most!

So, my challenge readers, if you’re feeling brave, is to think about that question, and work out how you would describe any colour (of your choice) to a blind person? Not easy, is it? Oh, and if any one of you has an interesting dream job, feel free to consider that, or even, on both counts, if you’re really brave, answer them in the comments section for me.

Come on, its nearly Christmas, give me a present, say hi, and answer one of those questions, or both.

The video. One of my favourite groups of all time, and yes, when I was very young, I wanted to sing like Judith Durham. And it fits in with one of the questions, anyway.